


Luck Runs Out

by Anonymous



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dark, Death, Gen, Gore, Horror, Major Character Injury, Medical Trauma, Really dark, Trauma, Unhappy Ending, Violence, lots of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-10-25 23:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The Clark family has taken over the southwest, but how long can they hold on to their power?This is a continuation of "Whatever it Takes" (so make sure to read that one first). Fair warning – no one is safe from here on out. I wanted the full-villain endgame, so that’s what I’m writing.In the words of another great TV villain, “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”





	1. Chapter 1

The hot summer sun beat down on Madison’s neck as she followed her new friends back to their camp. She had not yet told them about the rest of her group, wanting to see what kind of people they really were first. The large redhead was a beast, to be sure, but the chubby bookworm and tiny Latina seemed more like liabilities than assets.

A biter lurched from around the corner of a nearby building, and Abraham smiled broadly, pulling the wooden-handled machete from his belt. It’s hilt was already worn smooth from use, and Madison stood back to watch as he brought the blade dead center on the walker’s head, splitting it like an overripe melon.

“I tell you what, I might actually miss these fuckers when they’re gone,” he said, pulling his blade free.

“I’m pretty sure we’ll all be gone before they are,” Madison replied.

Giving a light-hearted snort, Abe strode towards his mullet-topped friend, clapping him on the back. Eugene had not been expecting the blow and stumbled forward, tripping over his own feet. “Ow,” he said, shooting Abe a surly look.

“Sorry, Doc. I just get overly excited every time I get to tell someone new that I’m the personal bodyguard to the near-literal second coming of Jesus H. Christ himself.”

Rosita rolled her eyes. “I don’t think Jesus would appreciate that comparison.”

“He stopped paying attention to what was going on down here a long time ago. As for saviors of the human race, I’m gonna put my faith in Eugene here.”

“I’m sorry… what the hell are you talking about?” Madison asked. An alarm sounded in her mind. If they thought they were on some kind of religious quest, she was going to have to find a way to lose them, and fast.

Abraham must have sensed the change in her, or perhaps noticed the way her hand instinctively moved to her weapon, and he quickly got serious. “I don’t mean savior as a metaphor, ma’am. Eugene is a scientist. He knows what started this, and he knows how to fix it.”

She looked at Eugene. He was a large man, probably in his late thirties, but there was something incredibly immature about him. Decked out in cargo shorts and a sweat-stained denim button-down, she had a hard time imagining him working in a deli, let alone a laboratory.

Then again, would anyone have guessed that the most dangerous woman currently alive in the southwest used to spend her days handing tissues to heartbroken teenage girls and defending less popular boys from bullies? Madison thought fondly of Tobias and wondered if he was still alive. She hoped he was.

Cocking her head, Madison narrowed her eyes at him. “ _You_?”

Eugene jutted his chin out in indignation. “I was part of a ten person team at the Human Genome Project to weaponize diseases in the event of biological warfare. A fail-safe delivery system was built, based in D.C., that could be activated to wipe out every living thing on the face of this planet. My clearance levels gave me access to the plans, and I believe I can reprogram it to wipe out every dead thing instead.”

Most crazy people believe their own delusions, Madison knew, so she was wary to trust him, no matter how convincing he may sound. Looking back and forth between the other two members of the group, she saw they had bought whatever it was this lunatic was selling. Maybe, though… Just maybe…

Was there even the tiniest chance it could be true? Madison quickly weighed the pros and cons of going any further with them. She didn’t see how indulging them a bit longer would hurt, and the faint glimmer of hope that this might not be the end of mankind sparked something deep inside her.

“Washington, D.C., eh?”

Abraham let his guard down once again; his body relaxed, going from lethal killer back to teddy bear as his mischievous grin returned. Madison noticed the way Rosita looked at Abraham and figured their relationship was more than just traveling companions. “You’re more than welcome to join us, Madison. You seem to be a tough cookie, and we could always use extra help on the road.”

“How many of you are there?” she asked.

“Eleven. Er, sorry, no- ten now. We lost someone last night,” Rosita answered sadly. “You can meet everyone once we get back to our camp. It’s not that much further.”

Turning on her heel, Rosita started walking again, barely pausing as she stabbed a walker that had been creeping towards them. Madison already respected the young woman. She was a heck of a lot tougher than she looked, in her short-shorts and pigtails. The men followed after her, with Madison behind them.

Although she had no intention on traveling with them to Washington, D.C., she felt it was better to play her hand close to her vest for the time being. Her group was over twenty strong, and stationed less than a half-mile from where she now stood. One shot and her militia would come running. If she wasn’t back by dusk, Troy would come looking for her himself. They had decimated more than a few groups bigger than this one as they had expanded their territory.

Trailing behind, Madison stealthily dug an arrow in the dust of the road with the toe of her boot, pointing in the direction they were headed. Just in case, she thought. She hadn’t gotten this far on luck alone.

 

\--

 

The wet clay was cool in Nick’s hands, and he took a moment to enjoy the small reprieve from the oppressive heat of the midday sun. Several terra cotta tiles on the mansion roof had cracked and fallen, and he had taken it upon himself to come up with some kind of solution. As the self-appointed handyman of the small town, it was his job, and he had started taking it much more seriously soon after they had taken over the bazaar.

“Nicholas!” He heard Daniel’s voice twenty feet below him. “What on earth are you doing?”

Packing the last of the clay into the gap left from the missing shingle, he wiped his hands on his jeans and carefully scrambled to the edge of the roof where the ladder leaned. Daniel held it steady at the bottom as he climbed down. Hopping off, Nick accepted the glass of water he handed him. “Gotta stay on top of the repairs!” he said, smiling.

Daniel smiled in return. It was a sight Nick had gotten used to over the past few months. He hadn’t been the only one who had grown content in their little oasis in the desert. A few of the younger kids had started calling Daniel _abuelo_ , and Nick pretended not to notice the older man’s eyes glisten the first time he had heard it.

“Are you sure you’re not up there looking for something?”

He looked down and shrugged. Their roof was the highest point in the town, and you could see for miles from it’s peak. It’s how he had discovered the shingles were even missing in the first place.

“Still no sign?” Daniel asked gently. Nick’s answer was in his silence. “It hasn’t been a full month yet. You must not worry.”

“I’m not worried,” Nick lied. Every time his mother took Troy and the rest of her makeshift army out on the road, he was nervous. He feared for their safety, of course, but that was a constant now in this terrifying new world they lived in. What he feared most was that some day, someone bigger and badder than his mother was going to follow her back, and they would lose this town.

They looked across the sloping front lawn, where they had recently started planting. The earth was hard, and the sod that had previously stayed green thanks to an expansive irrigation system had turned brown and dried up. It had turned out to be a lot harder to get things to grow than they had anticipated. Luckily, a few of the newer members of the town had been native to the area, and knew how to work the land properly.

“I’m headed down to see Alicia, and I could use a spare set of hands. You busy?” Nick asked. He had promised Alicia that he would help her hang some shelves in the little hospital she had set up. Daniel nodded and the two made their way down the hard packed dirt road that led through the center of the small town.

Alicia stood in the doorway of the building that was designated as the medical center, hands on her hips, tapping her foot in playful impatience. “Finally!”

“Sorry, got hung up on the roof for a bit.” Alicia looked at him expectantly, and he shook his head in response.

“It’s still early. No need to start worrying yet,” she said, reiterating Daniel’s sentiment from earlier.

Wanting to change the subject, Nick got started on the shelves. Daniel stood by, handing him tools as he asked for them, making small talk with Alicia. She, too, had started to think of him as a grandfather of sorts. It was a strange little family they had in La Reina, and Nick was finding himself more content than he could remember – even pre-TEOTWAWKI, as Jeremiah called it.

A loud crash tore Nick from his thoughts. Daniel and Alicia drew their guns from their holsters as they ran out on the street. Nick had stopped wearing a gun long ago, and he hoped the hammer he held would suffice if needed. People were coming out from their houses, drawn to the sound. An old pick-up truck was crumpled against one of the buildings on the outer border of the town.

“Stay back,” Nick warned the villagers, as he made his way to the accident. Alicia barked orders at a few of the men and women standing by, directing them to bring a stretcher. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first emergency the town had seen.

He got to the truck first. At first it looked like the driver’s seat was empty; as he got closer he saw the small girl slumped on the steering wheel. She was very clearly too young to be driving. The man in the passenger seat was also unconscious. It was obvious from the amount of dried blood that crusted his clothes that his injuries, or at least some of them, had occurred before the crash.

Nick helped load the two onto stretchers, and after checking them for bites, they were wheeled into the hospital. The guards from the militia who had stayed behind were already clearing the truck and started patrolling for any walkers who may have been drawn to the noise. He headed over to where Daniel stood in a small crowd nearby.

“They’re both out cold. We won’t be able to get any answers until they wake up,” Nick said. Daniel nodded, the concern visible on his face.

Most of the town’s residents had either been directed there from the bazaar, or brought in by Madison herself. It was always concerning when they were discovered by accident, and now they had the added threat of not knowing who was responsible for the man’s injuries- and where that person might be. The town would be on high alert for the time being.

Daniel handed Nick his gun, “You need to start carrying a gun again.”

“I’ve got a knife-,” Nick said, refusing the offer.

Forcing the gun into Nick’s hand, Daniel insisted. “You might not get a chance to use it. Do you think it was a walker that shot that man?”

He knew Daniel was right. As much as he wanted to pretend they were safe here, the world was still a dangerous place.  Shoving the gun in his waistband, he headed inside to help Alicia.  

 

\--

 

The highway from Mexicali to Tuscon had been cleared for the most part, but the last ten miles of the trip to the reservation that Taqa and Lee now called home was all off-road. This wasn’t the first time Victor had made the trek, and he was prepared. His jeep was military grade, 100% function over style – a long cry from the slick green Jaguar he had quickly gained and lost all those months ago. This was much more practical.

Despite the challenge of driving the entire way one-handed, there was no one left at El Bazar that he trusted enough to share his mission with. As far as anyone there was concerned, he was headed to La Reina for a few days.  

Maria Lu had been a strong ally to Madison from the very start, which is why it was such a shock to Victor when she started laying groundwork for a coup. With Madison on the road so often, leadership had fallen to Maria and Victor; although they had found it very easy to work together, it was turning out to be a thankless job.

Even though the trade route was proving to be beneficial to everyone, and having a trained and organized militia protecting the area had saved many lives, the trading post continued to be a haven for undesirables and transients - even more than it had been before the Clarks had liberated it from the Proctors rule. Fights broke out all the time, and at least once a week someone was murdered within the walls. Justice was always swiftly and brutally doled out; unfortunately, most people didn’t stick around long enough for cautionary tales to spread.

Madison had been there for a month before she left on her current mission, and during that time, she and Maria had started to butt heads about little things. He gave props to Madison for conceding over half the time, even though she could tell Maria was not satisfied. She had asked Victor to keep an eye on the woman, in case some kind of trouble was brewing.

Victor chuckled to himself – as always, Madison’s instincts had been right.

Since the fall of the dam, he had learned to trust those instincts exclusively. More than a few of his plans had cost innocent people their lives, and he wasn’t looking to add to those numbers any time soon. Let Madison and her crew do the killing – Victor was happy to be a businessman again.

The guards nodded to him as he drove through the gate, and he rolled through, heading to the trailer Lee lived in with his new wife. As Victor put the car in park, the door to the RV swung open. Lee poked his head out to see who had just arrived.

“Victor? What’s wrong?” he asked, rushing over to the Jeep

“Nothing, nothing – well, nothing imminent at least. There is definitely going to be trouble at the O-K Corral at some point in the near future though.” Victor said as he met him halfway. The two men had become friends while living in La Reina, a friendship that started when Victor had saved Lee’s life, costing him his hand. “How is your lovely wife?”

“Good, good, off getting dinner ready for everyone,” Lee replied, nervously running his hand over his close-cropped hair. “We’re uh.. she’s pregnant.”

Victor’s face broke out in a huge smile, as he grabbed Lee up in a bear hug. He thought back to the baby he had delivered while playing doctor at the hotel, briefly wondering what had happened to the new family. Suppressing the tragic assumptions, he smiled.

“Congratulations! I wish I had brought some cigars!”

Lee grinned. “I wish you had brought some of that good whiskey.”

“Wish granted.” Reaching into the backseat, Victor hefted out his backpack, the bottles within clinking together lightly. “I am here on official business, though. Taqa’s going to want to hear this.”

The two men made their way to Taqa’s cabin, where he sat, pouring over a pile of maps spread out on a  rough-hewn table. After exchanging pleasantries, Victor filled them in on what was happening at the bazaar; the unrest, the violence, and most importantly, Maria Lu’s sudden about-face on Madison.

“Madison isn’t going to know what she’s coming back to. For all I know, they plan on taking her out in the parking lot the minute she gets back.”

Taqa nodded. “She’ll stop here before she goes to El Bazar. We’ll give her the heads up.”

“Are you safe there?” Lee asked.

“I am, for now. Maria believes she has turned my ear as well. I play the part of the lowly cripple left behind to clean up the messes of his mistress. I’m very convincing.” Victor tapped his stump with the index-finger of his remaining hand.

Taqa nodded solemnly, deep in thought. “We don’t have the manpower to take up arms against the bazaar again, even with Madison’s group back and all the people of La Reina.”

Victor knew that was true, and it was why he was waiting until Madison got back to make a move. It was her cunning plan that had allowed them to take over the bazaar in the first place – he had to trust she would find a way out of this dilemma as well. As easily as Madison could get herself into trouble, she always had a knack for finding a way out of it. He told Taqa and Lee as much.

“Hopefully there will be no need to fight. When Madison gets back with that gasoline, it’s going to be a game changer. It’s been a long year, but she’s made good on all of her promises so far. This one’s just taking a little longer.”

It was actually taking _much_ longer than they had anticipated. Besides the trouble they had when they first tried to cross over into Texas, they had been surprised to find many of the refineries in the middle of the state had been burned to the ground. They were currently out on their fifth scouting mission.

At first they had been out only a week or two at a time, as they laid the groundwork for a more major undertaking – clearing highways, picking up more allies and taking down any new threats. As time dragged on, Madison’s crew had to stay out longer and longer. They encountered fewer and fewer people, and the odds of them running into someone who had the knowledge they required to get a refinery up and running seemed to be rapidly dwindling.

“We have faith in Madison,” Taqa said.

“So do I.”

A knock came at the door, and an older woman popped her head in and spoke a few words in a language Victor didn’t understand. Taqa responded in kind, and she left, leaving the door open behind her.

“Dinner is ready. I hope you planned on staying the evening?”

Victor winked and gestured to the bag of top-shelf liquor he had brought. “My gift to the host.”

Taqa and Lee laughed with him, and Victor felt himself relax for the first time in weeks. It was nice to be around people he could trust again.

 

\--

 

The flurry of activity finally died down, and Alicia sent away the last of the volunteers. While Nick had pitched in where he could, she could tell he was squeamish around the blood. She found it hilarious, considering how much of his free time he used to spend covered in it. Instead he stood guard; there was no guarantee these were good people, or that this wasn’t some kind of trick.

Alicia hadn’t seen her brother with a gun in months. He had settled into domestication quickly, and she had done everything in her power to encourage it. Without Madison around, breathing down his neck, Nick was flourishing. And he wasn’t the only one.

She could not look at her mother without remembering Luciana, her insides spilling out on the dirt floor in the dirty stall of the bazaar. The sound they had made – thick and sloppy and wet – still haunted her. Although her mother hadn’t mentioned it since, Alicia doubted she was losing any sleep over it. Even though the guilt continued to eat away at her, she knew that telling Nick would accomplish nothing- or worse, send him back into the depression that had consumed him for the majority of his life.

They had been careful to tie the man up before working on him; he briefly came to when Alicia had cleaned the gunshot wound on his side, quickly passing back out before saying anything. The little girl was breathing evenly, luckily having only a few bumps and bruises.  

Alicia finished bandaging the stranger and cleaned up the mess she had made. This was, ironically, exactly what she had wanted to do with her life as long as she could remember. Although the circumstances may not have been ideal, she got a lot of gratification out of helping people.

“As much as I hate to admit it, I wish mom was here,” Nick broke the silence, keeping his voice low to not wake up either of the patients.

“We can handle this without her,” Alicia said, trying hard to keep her voice even, “I do wish she had left more of the militia behind, though.”

Nick looked wistfully out the window. She wondered if he was more concerned about Madison or Troy. Despite his numerous transgressions against the group in the past, he had become an integral part of their bizarre little family. The two young men had managed to keep each other out of trouble so far. Nick hadn’t gotten high since he nearly died at the dam, and Troy hadn’t killed anyone that Madison hadn’t sanctioned.

In their case, two wrongs somehow made a right.

Alicia envied them sometimes, her own loneliness amplified by their comradery. After Jake, she had closed herself off to meeting anyone new. A few of the newcomers had tried to woo her, quickly giving up once they realized she was just as tough as her mother. Everyone besides Mel, that is. He refused to give up, asking her out every time he swung by La Reina on his regular trade route.

_Maybe it’s time to get back in the saddle_ , she thought to herself. Mel wasn’t the worst looking guy, after all. He had mellowed out a lot since the night he and his odd crew had shown up at their front door. She made up her mind to at least give him a chance when she saw him next.

“Hey, ‘Leesh, look,” Nick said, startling her out of her reverie. Following his gaze, she saw the little girl had started to open her eyes.

Alicia moved to her side, speaking softly so as not to startle her. “Hi kiddo, how are you feeling?”

“Where am I?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse, and Nick handed her a glass of water. She refused it, narrowing her eyes at him.

“It’s just water. Look.” Nick took a swig from the glass and handed it back to her. Her thirst must have overruled her caution, as she drank it down greedily.

Alicia sat on the edge of the bed next to her. “My name is Alicia, and this is my brother, Nick. We’re good people, and you’re safe.”

Her eyes finally lit on the man laying on the bed across the room. “John!” she cried, running across the room to him. Turning back to Alicia, her eyes were filled with tears. “Is he…?”

“He’s going to be fine. We have lots of medicine here, and we’ve helped a lot of people much worse off than him,” Alicia said. It wasn’t a total lie; Victor would be dead if it weren’t for her quick thinking.

“What’s your name?” Nick asked. He had always been better with kids than she was.

She hesitated, glancing back and forth between the two Clark siblings, before apparently deciding they weren’t a threat. “Charlie.”

“Nice to meet you, Charlie. And your dad here is John?” Nick went on.

“He’s not my dad.” Her voice cracked on the last word.

Alicia could guess the story. Although she didn’t want to pressure Charlie for more details than she was comfortable sharing, they had to know if they were in imminent danger. “He’s a nice man, though?”

Charlie nodded her head enthusiastically.

“Do you remember how you got here? Or who shot John?”

She cast her eyes downward and shrugged. Alicia could tell she knew more than she was letting on. Before she could ask again, Nick stepped in.

“Hey, I bet you’re starving. How about you come back to our house and have some lunch?”

The younger girl glanced nervously at the man she had been brought in with, torn between her hunger and protecting the man who had obviously been protecting her.

“I’ll stay here with John, in case he wakes up.” Alicia had no plans on leaving her patient until she knew what was going on.

“I’ll send Daniel back down with some food for you,” Nick said pointedly. He didn’t want to leave her alone, just in case.

Alicia smiled. “Thanks, Nick. I’d love some of that lemonade if there’s any left.”

The little girl’s eyes lit up. “You have lemonade?” she asked incredulously, following Nick out the door.

Alicia watched them walk up the small hill towards the mansion before heading back to her remaining patient. No matter how innocent the newcomers seemed, she knew they still had to proceed with caution.

 

\--

 

The rest of Abraham’s group had seemed normal enough. They all believed Eugene to be humanity’s last hope, which Madison found slightly unnerving. If he could do what he said he could do, though, it would be a game-changer. She was willing to suspend her disbelief. For now, at least.

“You gonna tell me anything about you and your people?” Abraham asked her as they walked the perimeter of the schoolyard they had secured. His group sat at a nearby picnic table, quietly eating from dented tins of vegetables.

The sun would be setting within the hour, and she knew she would have to leave soon. From what she had seen, the group had some decent weapons, though not a lot of ammunition, and barely enough food to last them the week. Besides Abraham, no one else seemed like they’d bring much to the table.

Best to let them go on their way to D.C., she thought. If she had any idea how long her own team would be stuck in the area, she’d offer them some supplies; as it stood, Madison knew it could be weeks before they’d be heading back to the border town she called home.  

“Not much to tell,” she lied. “Same story as everyone else. Traveling around, trying to stay alive.”

It was clear that he wasn’t buying any of it.

“Look, lady. I’m not trying to start anything, but there are some real shitbirds out there nowadays, and I’m not talking about the deadheads who keep trying to take a bite of my rosy ass.” He took a step towards her, blocking her path to the gate. “I can’t let you leave here without knowing you’re not going to come back and take what we’ve got from us in the night.”

Before Madison could even respond, she saw the small red dot of a laser sight appear on the man’s chest. Following her gaze down, Abraham’s eyes grew wide. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the rest of his group freeze in terror as more of the beams trained on them.

Rolling her eyes, Madison raised her arms to tell her crew to back down. “ _Troy!_ Stand down!”

A voice called from the bushes surrounding the fence. “He threatened you. I heard it.”

“He did not. Get out here.”

As the red dots disappeared, Troy and fifteen members of her militia slowly revealed themselves from the bushes. Madison shook her head in exasperation.

“Just looking for books, eh?” Abraham said.

Her plan of leaving them as she had found them blown, thanks to Troy’s itchy trigger finger, Madison decided to go with the truth. They had given her that courtesy, no matter how insane their truth seemed. “It’s getting dark. Let’s go inside to talk.”

Madison sent the rest of her team back to their own camp, though Troy insisted on staying with her. He had assigned himself as her own personal Queen’s guard. He had saved her ass on more than one occasion, but in times like this, she really felt like smacking him upside the head.

Settled comfortably inside the small school, Madison filled them in on their whole story. She was careful to leave out the more unsavory bits – for example, how it was Troy’s fault they lost the ranch in the first place, and her part in his father’s death.

“We’re doing the same thing as you are – trying to get the world back to normal,” she said, ending her story. “This refinery is our last shot, though. If we can’t figure out a way to get it up and running…” Madison trailed off. She hadn’t really stopped to consider what would happen if she failed.

“I can do it.”

The group turned to the source of the claim. Eugene sat munching on crackers and EZ-Cheez, crumbs covering the front of his shirt.

Troy snorted in derision. “Okay, bubba. Working the pump at a gas station is a little different than making it from scratch.”

Eugene’s face flushed red, but he stood his ground. “I assure you, although none of my _three_ PhDs are specifically in chemical engineering, I understand the process fully, from soup to nuts.”

Abraham shook his head firmly. “Hold up now. Eugene, priority numero uno is getting you to where you need to be so we can undo this whole mess we’re in. We don’t have time for any side quests.”

“Sure would be a lot easier to make it to D.C. with a full gas tank,” Rosita said.

Madison was trying hard to contain her excitement; she didn’t want to let them know how much she needed them, but she couldn’t let them go without at least trying. “Tell you what. You stick around and help us get started, and we’ll give you enough guns and ammo to make sure your trip north is a safe one.”

The ginger sat back in his chair, stroking his mustache as he considered. After a moment he nodded. “Alright. We’ll stay one week. If Eugene can’t get the thing started by then, we’re going on our merry way. _With_ the guns you’ve promised, no matter what.”

Madison had absolutely no intention of handing over her weapons without getting something in return, but that was a problem she hoped not to encounter. Without hesitation, she agreed to his terms.

“Deal,” Madison agreed, smiling broadly.


	2. Chapter 2

Contrary to what TV and movies would have the general public believe, gasoline _does_ eventually go bad. Even the stockpile at the ranch was never intended to last more than a few years, at best, and that was only with careful monitoring. Knowing that, as much as it killed him to admit it, Troy was aware that they really needed this to work, and they needed their new allies to do it.

With them as the sole manufacturers and distributors of fuel, possibly in the world, they would be able to reign supreme for the foreseeable future. Though the power didn’t really appeal to him, this was what Madison wanted. That fact alone was motivation enough for him.

What he hadn’t counted on was having to take orders from an overgrown redneck with a superiority complex. Since their first interaction, Eugene had rubbed Troy the wrong way. Sure, the guy actually seemed to know what he was talking about, but that didn’t mean Troy was buying the whole “top-secret government scientist” routine.

They had left their camps early the morning after they had agreed to their plan. It hadn’t taken long to make it to the refinery on the gulf coast, the newly expanded group all crammed into Mel’s bus.  Of course, their first point of business had to be clearing out any walkers who had take up residence in the plant.

Eugene had spent that time safely hidden in a trailer, reviewing the maps and schematics they had retrieved for him. Not that he ever turned down the opportunity to take out a few walkers, it still was just one more thing Troy had found loathsome about the man. He couldn’t even keep himself alive.

It wasn’t until day three of the week Abraham had promised them that they had finally started to get down to the nitty gritty. Under Eugene’s direction, they found a propane powered generator and fit it to the elaborate pump system that ran throughout the unit they were going to bring back online.

While eating dinner at the end of the third day, Eugene explained their next steps, explaining the process in excruciating detail for everyone.

“It’s really not much more complicated than making moonshine,” he ended with.

Locking eyes with Madison across the room, Troy was pleased to see that she was just as fed up with this pretentious blowhard as he was. He shot her a smile, and she nodded in acknowledgement.

“So, I’ll admit, I understood about three of the words you just said,” Mel cut in, balancing his plate of food on his knees. “But you’re really sure you can make this work?”

“Does a cat have climbing gear?” Eugene responded.

“I don’t... I don’t know what that means,” Mel said, glancing around the room for support.

“He means yes,” Rosita interjected.

The rest of the evening was uneventful, and after receiving their job assignments for the next morning, everyone settled in for the night. Feeling stifled, Troy headed out for a quick patrol before he turned in.

Madison followed him out as he left. “Want some company?”

“Depends on who it is,” he said, shooting a pained look back into the room they had just left, where Eugene was still prattling on about something asinine.

She laughed in response as they made their way back down the steel grate stairway to the ground level. They walked in silence for a while, enjoying the quiet stillness of the night, blades at the ready. After a while, Madison stopped, putting her hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“What is it?” he whispered, suddenly alert, eyes on the swivel for an incoming attack.

“I know you’re having a hard time dealing with this situation.”

That was not what he was expecting. Troy was never one to articulate his feelings, and he thought he did a good job of burying them deep inside. Having someone not only realize, but actually _care_ if he was uncomfortable was something he was still getting used to.

Troy shrugged awkwardly. “It’s only four more days. I guess I can put up with that asshole for a little bit longer. Either way, they’ll be gone soon.”

“Either way,” Madison agreed, her voice trailing off wistfully. “You know we’re not giving them shit if this doesn’t work out, right?”

He knew it. He knew it the minute Madison agreed to the deal. “I’ll take care of it.”

“It doesn’t have to end badly… but I don’t really care if it does.”

“What about the ‘quest to save humanity’?” Troy jeered.

Madison wrinkled her nose. “Do you buy any of that?”

He didn’t, and he told her as much. What he didn’t tell her is that even if he did believe that Eugene possessed the skills to hit the reset button, he wouldn’t want him to.

It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that his questionable hobbies were now socially acceptable, even encouraged. After a year with Madison, Troy had gotten enough violence to last him for the rest of his life. If things went back to normal now, though, it might break up his family – and that was all he had ever really wanted. His own parents had made it clear they hated him, and though Jake had tried to compensate for it, it never felt real.

The way he felt around the Clark’s – _that_ was real. Madison had reminded him so much of his own mother when he had first seen her at the depot; a whirlwind of blonde hair and attitude. She was different though. No matter how many times he had fucked up, she hadn’t given up on him yet. Neither had Nick, and although it had taken her a bit longer to warm up to him, even Alicia had put her neck on the line for him on occasion.  

“I’m going to turn in. You coming?” Troy asked.

“You go ahead, I need some more peace and quiet. My ears are still ringing from Eugene’s lecture.”

Troy hated leaving her alone, especially in unfamiliar territory, but he knew better than to argue with her. As he got back to the stairs that led up to the offices they were calling home for the time being, he noticed Eugene milling around, taking notes as he checked different valves and pipes.

“Are you allowed to be out this late without a grown-up?” Troy called to him, leaning against the bottom railing.

Startled, Eugene dropped his notebook. “Uhm, I was just- I had to use the facilities.”

“You always take notes when you take a shit?”

Even in the moonlight, Troy could tell he was flustered. The so-called scientist had not been left alone for a second since the moment they left their previous camps, and it was odd for him to be out on his own this late at night.

Picking up his pen and pad, Eugene stood up straight and leveled a glare at Troy. “And may I ask what you are skulking around here for?”

Shrugging, Troy gestured vaguely in the direction he had just come from. “Doing one last patrol before bed. Gotta make sure we keep you safe, right?”

Grunting, Eugene turned to walk away. Troy followed after him.

“I mean, that’s a pretty sweet gig you’ve got. Abraham and his little army risking life and limb to keep you alive at all costs.”

He had backed the heavier man into a corner, both metaphorically and literally. Turning back to face Troy, Eugene’s expression told him all he needed to know.

“I’m a bit of a scientist myself, you know. I’d love to hear more about the Human Genome Project. What were you working on exactly?” He wasn’t actually taunting Eugene for fun. If the man wasn’t actually capable of doing what he promised, they could all be in danger.  

“It’s classified.”

Troy scoffed at the response. “Nothing’s _classified_ anymore, buddy.”

“I- there’s protocol I have to-,” Eugene started. He was sweating bullets, and Troy had a rare moment of empathy.

Backing off a little, he softened his stance. “I get it. Self preservation, all that. I’m honestly impressed that you’ve been able to keep it up this long.”

Eugene started to protest, but Troy shushed him. “Listen – I don’t care if they think you’re the Queen of England. I just need to know if all this is a lie, too.” He hiked his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing towards the pump they had set up earlier that day.

He could see the gears in Eugene’s brain turning, debating whether or not to scream for help and potentially have the ruse he had been using to stay alive exposed. Troy didn’t think Abraham was the forgiving type. Coming to a decision, he chose his words carefully. “I do know what I am doing… here.”

Playfully slapping the other man’s cheek, Troy smiled. “See? Was that so hard?” As he walked away, he called back to his fellow pseudo-scientist.

“You know, between the weapons we’re giving you and the fuel, you guys will probably make it to D.C. in a few days.”

Eugene’s eyes widened at the comment. For someone as smart as he claimed he was, Troy found it hard to believe he hadn’t thought his plan through. He believed he was buying time helping Madison, when he was actually putting himself that much closer to exposing his fraud.

“You better have a plan B ready, _Doctor_ Porter _._ Seems like your plan is about to blow up in your face.”

 

\--

 

“Teach me to shoot.”

Nick looked up from the tomato plant he was tending. Charlie had been hanging around him all morning, alternating between helping and reading one of the books she had grabbed from the library.

“Sorry, kiddo. I already told you, I don’t shoot anymore,” he replied. It had only been two days, but Charlie had more than made herself at home. Kids were funny; you could turn their whole world upside down, and they’d find a way to bounce back.

“I’m boooored,” the girl huffed, flopping dramatically to the dirt next to where Nick crouched.

Gesturing to the book she had left behind on the front porch, he asked “No good?”

“I finished it.”

Nick was impressed. He had never been the scholarly type, although with limited sources of entertainment in the apocalypse, reading had quickly become pretty much everyone’s favorite hobby.

Pouting melodramatically, she turned to Nick. “What’s the point of having a shooting range if you never use it?”

Standing up, Nick brushed the dirt off his pants. “Tell you what, when Troy gets back, he’ll teach you how to shoot. He’s much better at it than I am, anyway.”

After the fall of the bazaar, he had fought alongside Troy and the militia for a short time. It was quickly apparent that Nick was not cut out to be a soldier. Among the dead, Nick was fearless. Fighting the living was a different story.

“Hey, look,” Charlie said, tugging on his sleeve pointing towards the road. Daniel was hustling up the driveway, waving his arms wildly.

Nick’s stomach lurched as he rushed towards him. The older man was smiling, and he brushed by Nick and headed straight to the little girl.

“John is awake!” he said, genuine excitement in his voice. Everyone had taken to Charlie, even Daniel. Having someone so young, as yet unsullied by the horrors of the world they lived in, had brightened everyone’s day.

The girl beamed up at Nick. Grabbing both of the men’s hands, she charged forward, dragging them behind her. Nick and Daniel exchanged a cautious glance above her head. They still had to be prepared for the worst.

Inside the infirmary, John was sitting up, propped up on some pillows. It looked as though Alicia had just changed his bandages, and his black button down shirt still hung in tatters from his shoulders. Seeing the little girl come through the doorway, his eyes filled with tears. Charlie flung herself into his arms.

Wincing against the pain, he hugged her back hard. “I don’t know who you are, but thank you,” he said, glancing between Nick, Daniel, and Alicia.

“Charlie here tells us your name is John,” Alicia said.

“Yes ma’am. John Dorie, like the fish.”

“But I-E, no Y,” the little girl cut in, giggling.

John shifted uncomfortably. “I suppose there are a lot of questions here that need to be answered. Maybe it’d be best if we stuck to just the adults here for that?” He tapped Charlie gently on her shoulder and gestured to the door.

Rolling her eyes, Charlie hopped off of the bed and headed to the door. “I’ll be in the library…” she said, heaving an exaggerated sigh as she left.

Nick stuck his head out the doorway and watched her head back to the main house. After formal introductions, they filled John in on how he had arrived in La Reina.

“Charlie hasn’t told us much. She says you’re not her dad, but you are a nice man.”

The man chuckled. “Well, that is good to know she thinks of me as such. There is an overabundance of bad in this world right now.”

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Nick was happy to find that for once, he didn’t count himself among the bad things in the world.

“So, what’s your story?” Alicia asked.

“To start, her name’s not Charlie. Or at least, I don’t think it is.”

In response to their puzzled looks, he went on.

“I found her about a year back. I was on my own, and I came across a camp… what was left of a camp. It was… carnage,” John said, shaking his head as if to clear the memory from his mind. “She was hiding in a truck, hiding under a pile of blankets. She must have been in there for days… she must have seen and heard what was happening to her people…”

Pausing, John took a long drink from the glass of water Alicia had put next to his bed. “I didn’t want to scare her, but I couldn’t leave her. It took three days for her to even look at me, and another five for her to say anything. Honestly, I didn’t think she ever would.

“When I asked her name, she told me it was Laura. There had been a few books in the truck with her – _Little House on the Prairie_ being one of them. I didn’t think anything of it until we met up with another group. When we introduced ourselves there, she told them her name was Ginny.”

Smirking, John sat up straighter. “Considering we had just finished reading _Harry Potter_ together, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together then.”

Funny kid, Nick thought. Seeing the confusion on Daniel’s face, Nick explained. “Book characters. She’s changing her name every time she meets someone new.”

“I’ve mostly stuck with calling her Laura… for the most part, it’s only been the two of us. Most of the people out there don’t take kindly to children nowadays.”

It wasn’t difficult to see why that was the prevailing attitude. Without the ability to defend themselves, kids were dead weight now. Literally. Nick grimaced as he remembered the family from the lighthouse, the mother begging them to take her children to safety. Although that had ended in tragedy, Madison had agreed to take them; Nick didn’t think his mother would make the same choice today.

“So how did you get here?” Daniel urged the man to continue.

“We heard rumors of a trading post – a place to get supplies, refuel… and honestly, I just wanted to be around people again.” He looked out the window, deep in thought.

They all knew he was talking about the bazaar. None of them had been back in months; why would they go back when they were living in luxury there in La Reina? Besides that, Madison did spend most of her time there when she wasn’t on the road, adding another reason they didn’t care to visit.

Of course, that was her design, and Nick knew it. It was her last attempt to keep him away from that place – she knew that if she was there, he wouldn’t want to be. He also knew she had threatened to kill any of the dealers there that sold to him. Not that he had any intention of using ever again, her constant need to control his life still irritated him.

“The place was… not kid-friendly. I wanted to leave right away. Laura- er, Charlie, though – she thought it was great. The music, the food, the little stores…She was smiling. I couldn’t take that away from her. I agreed to stay one night.”

John swallowed thickly, clearing his throat. “At dinner, I saw a few men who were looking at her the wrong way, if you know what I mean.”

They knew what he meant. Nick felt the rage boil up in him. _What the hell was going on at the bazaar?_ he thought. _Wasn’t Victor supposed to be keeping an eye on things?_

“It was late, and dark, but I had to get her out of there,” he went on. “I found a little house nearby. I figured we were in the clear.”

John spread his hands out on his lap, staring down at them. “I was wrong.”

The room was silent. John looked up and made eye contact with Alicia. He seemed to be struggling with his words. “I am a nice man, I need you to know that. I don’t enjoy violence.”

Daniel cut in. “Sometimes, violence is necessary to protect the ones you love.”

Alicia put her hand gently on John’s shoulder. “We’ve all been there,” she said, glancing back at Nick and Daniel.

The cowboy smiled sadly. “They had grabbed her. She was so scared, not even screaming. I did what I had to do. One of them got off a shot at me first, though,” he ended, looking down at his bandaged torso. “I was able to drive for a while, but I guess I must have passed out.”

The little girl had taken over the driving from there – impressive for a nine-year-old, Nick had to admit. She didn’t seem to be easily shaken. Although it was a shame she had to grow up fast, it was a necessity.

Clearing his throat, Nick said, “You and Charlie- er, Laura – are welcome to stay. We’ve got a pretty solid community built up here.”

“Everyone pitches in. What did you do, you know, before?” Alicia asked.

“If my attire hasn’t tipped you off, I worked as a gunslinger in a local rodeo. That was for fun, mostly. I was a police officer by day.”

 _That could seriously come in handy in the future,_ Nick thought to himself. Maybe these two newcomers would turn out to be a welcome addition to the town. It could be a turn of luck that they showed up at La Reina.

Unfortunately, Nick was still worried about two things. First, whatever was happening at the bazaar needed to be addressed. When Madison got back, she was not going to be happy to see that the place had descended back into chaos.

The second was Madison herself. She was going to have to approve of John and Charlie sticking around. There was no telling what kind of mood Madison would be in when she got back; if her plan had gone off without a hitch, she may be feeling generous. If not, well – he knew his mother was not known for her level-headedness. Not anymore.

Judging from the fake smiles on Alicia and Daniel’s faces, they were having similar thoughts, Smiling brightly to hide his concern, Nick forced himself to stay optimistic. “Welcome to La Reina, Officer Dorie.”

 

\--

 

In the control room of the refinery, Madison watched Eugene flip switches and turn knobs as he consulted a binder labeled “Operation Manual”. Had she know there would be an actual set of instructions on how to get the plant up and running, the past few months may not have been as taxing.

 _No use crying over it now_ , she thought to herself. Eugene and the rest of the group they had met up with earlier that week had certainly been pulling their own weight, so it wasn’t as if it was a total loss.

Rosita was currently leading her folks in filling a tanker they would take with them on their journey north. Although they hadn’t produced any new fuel left, there were some tanks that had not been damaged or exposed to air, and that would be more than enough for their trip.

Madison’s crew, led by Mel, were on the ground, operating the pumps and valves that Eugene assigned them. There had been no way to get the whole control board back online, but they had managed to get the one unit they were using at least partially operational.

Not that she knew what any of that meant. There were whirring sounds, and clunking sounds, and steam had started to seep from the seams on a tall column; Eugene’s nods and incoherent mumbling led her to believe this everything was going smoothly, though.

Troy and Abraham leaned against opposite walls, each armed and watching the people they had entrusted with their futures carefully – Madison, in Troy’s case; Eugene for Abraham. Each looked prepared to die to protect their charge. Although she would never really think of Troy as a son, she had no problem playing the part of mother, as long as he played by her rules.

“I think we’re ready to get this party started,” Eugene pronounced.

Talking into her walkie-talkie, Madison called to Mel. “We’re ready to go, Mel. Get everyone where they need to be.”

Over the radio, Mel replied, “Roger that, over and out.”

She still found him and the gaggle of misfits he had come in with annoying, but like Troy, they had proven useful over the course of the year. Turning to Eugene, she gestured for him to do whatever it was he needed to do next.

The man was sweating buckets. Not that was unusual – it was hot, after all – but he seemed a bit more nervous than usual. “Here goes nothing,” he replied as he pressed a large red button.

 _We promised them half our guns for this?_ Madison thought. Judging from the look on Troy’s face, he was not impressed either. Besides getting the generators hooked up, Eugene hadn’t brought much more to the table besides the ability to read.

He had been much quieter that morning, and Madison couldn’t help but notice the wide berth he had been giving Troy. Hell, she didn’t think he had even glanced in Troy’s direction for more than a second. She didn’t have time to worry about what happened there.

“What now?” she asked, not doing a very good job of concealing her impatience.  

“Now we wait. According to the inventory lists I was able to compile, there are still roughly one million barrels of crude here. Even only running this distillation unit once a month, and given how few consumers there really are right now, you’ll be up to your eyeballs in fresh gasoline for the next…” squinting his eyes, Eugene looked up, appearing to be doing the math in his head, “Thirty-six years.”

Her jaw dropped. “Thirty six… years?” It had been a long time since she had a reason for a genuine smile, and she couldn’t contain it. “Eugene, I could kiss you.”

Blushing to his roots, Eugene shrugged. “That’s uh, not necessary, ma’am.” She saw him glance to Troy, who was shooting daggers back at him.

Abraham spoke up, ending the awkward moment. “I guess tomorrow, we’ll be on our way then. With the guns you promised.”

“ _With_ the guns we promised,” Madison agreed pointedly, making sure he knew how insulted she was that he would insinuate that she might renege on their deal. Never mind the fact that she would have, if things hadn’t worked out.

The radio in Madison’s hand crackled to life, and Mel’s voice cut in. “Uh, hey, guys?”

“What is it?” Madison replied back.

“There’s some kind of… alarm or something going off down here?”

Eugene scrambled back over to the control board. “There’s nothing on this unit, ask him if he can see where the alarm is coming from.”

Madison radioed back, and Mel took a few minutes to respond. “It’s on the… I guess the big pipe coming down from the top there? The thing that it’s like, dumping into.”

Frantically flipping through the instruction manual, Eugene was shaking his head in frustration. He reached for the walkie-talkie. “Is there a letter or number on the thing the alarm is connected to?”

“It’s uh… P2?”

Rushing to the unit map that hung on the wall, he trailed his finger along until he found was he was looking for. “That’s probably a propane feed of some kind. We’re going to have to shut it down.”

Madison groaned and took the radio back. “Alright Mel, bring everyone back.” Her whole crew was out there – the control room was a good quarter mile from the unit they were running.

“It’s probably a small leak. Nothing we can’t handle tomorrow. If it was anything major, they would have smelled the gas,” Eugene explained nonchalantly.

“No, they wouldn’t.”

Troy hadn’t said much all day, and his voice startled Madison. She raised her eyebrows at him, encouraging him to go on. He sauntered over to where Eugene was standing.

“Natural gas doesn’t really smell like rotten eggs. They add the smell later, so it’s easier to detect a leak. Didn’t you know that, _Doctor_ Porter?”

Eugene’s face went white. He grabbed the walkie out of Madison’s hands, pressing the call button frantically. “Mel, do you read me? Don’t get in the bus, whatever you don’t start the-“

The radio crackled dead air for only a second before the explosion rocked the room they were in, throwing them all to the ground. Madison felt Troy’s arm wrap around her as he scooped her up, rushing to the door.

The heat hit them immediately. It was like a bomb had detonated; even from her vantage point hundreds of yards away, she could tell there would be no survivors from her group.

“We’ve gotta get out of here. Everything in this place is flammable and I am not in the mood for barbecue today,” Abraham was shoving them both from behind, hauling Eugene out by his collar. As if to punctuate his claim, a smaller explosion came from nearby.

The foursome ran towards the gates, where Rosita and the rest of her group had been loading their trucks up. They stood, mouths agape, as they watched the refinery fall. At that distance, they were safe; at least from the immediate danger.

Before she even knew what she was doing, Madison slammed Eugene to the ground and jammed her pistol under his chin. “ _What did you do_!?”

Abraham lunged for her; Troy tackled him before he could get close, pinning him down against the pavement, knife to his throat.

“You said you knew what you were doing,” he growled at the man pinned between Madison’s thighs.

“I did- I do. It was an accident!” he sobbed.

“Everybody needs to chill the fuck out!” Rosita hollered. “The noise is going to draw walkers from all over, and we’ll all be dead if we don’t leave soon.”

“I’m not leaving until this sack of shit explains how he just murdered twenty of my men!” Madison responded, breathing heavily. She released the safety on her gun. “Start talking.”

“Don’t bother. He’s a fucking liar anyway,” Troy hissed.

Rosita drew her gun and aimed it at Troy. “Get off him.”

Even though Madison could barely think straight through her rage, she knew they were outnumbered. Begrudgingly, she lowered her gun. As Troy followed her lead, and Abraham took the opportunity to shove the younger man off of him.

“We’re not going anywhere with you,” Madison spat at them.

Abraham squared himself against Troy. “That’s probably for the best, I think.”

Troy smiled menacingly in the larger man’s face. Madison knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself for much longer. She was shocked no bodies had hit the ground yet – besides, of course, everyone else who had traveled with her from the safety of their home in Mexico.

Rubbing her face, she was annoyed to find herself at the mercy of someone else for the first time in almost a year. “In light of the current situation, I think it’s only fair we get some of our supplies back. And one of those vehicles.”

No one made a move. Rosita finally stepped in, pushing Abraham and Troy apart, and addressed Madison. Tossing her a set of keys, she inclined her head towards a jeep nearby. “You should go.”

“What about weapons? Food? We’ve lost everything.” The admission hit Madison like a punch to the gut.

“There’s a few days worth of food and water in there,” the young woman replied. She pulled the semi-automatic rifle off her own back and handed it to Madison. “That’s all you’re getting.”

Looking over, she could see Troy had reached his boiling point. Resigned to their loss, she guided him to the vehicle. Rosita kept her pistol trained on them as they got in the car, Madison behind the wheel. Wordlessly, she started the engine.

 _How had they gotten here_? she asked herself. She had trusted the wrong people again. She had let herself believe that there were still good people, helpful people left on this earth. Now she knew better.

About twenty yards away, she slowed the car. Madison was not about to let a bunch of lying yokels tear down everything she had worked for, at least not without paying the price.

“How’s your aim lately, Troy?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“Never better,” he replied with glee, reaching for the weapon Rosita had given them.

In the rearview mirror, she watched as Abraham and his band of assholes were hustling to get on the road themselves.

“Make sure they can’t follow us.”

Coming to a complete stop, Troy steadied the rifle and opened fire. He managed to take out the tires to the tanker first, unfortunately hitting one of the members of the other group in the process.

“Oops.”

Gunshots began to crack in response; it was too late though. Troy had already caused their small fleet significant damage. Running out of ammo, he spun back to Madison, grinning wildly.

She couldn’t smile back, even over this small win. Her head was spinning. The dam was the last time any of her plans had fallen through. Heading west, Madison thought of home, of her children.

They had overcome so much, this couldn’t be the end. It would take time to regroup, of course. She still controlled the bazaar, though. And Taqa was still her ally. They’d still find a way.

She always found a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My father does refinery turnarounds for a living, and was more than happy to explain to me how to a) get a refinery, or at least one unit, up and running and b) how to blow one up.


	3. Chapter 3

Spending a few days away from the bazaar had been refreshing for Victor. Talking things over with Taqa and Lee had cleared his mind a bit, and he was feeling optimistic as he turned down the long street that ran in front of the arena. They would warn Madison, she’d figure something out, and everything would go back to normal.

That optimism was comically short lived.

After Madison had liberated the stadium from the Proctors, they did away with the harsh punishments their predecessors had doled out. They hadn’t wanted to rule by fear alone; it had been important, especially in the beginning, that the vendors and permanent residents of El Bazaar viewed Madison as the antithesis of Proctor John.

Which is why Victor was shocked to see the dozen or so people chained to the front gate. He had been the one they do away with that practice, having been on the receiving end of it himself. Slowing the Jeep as he drove by, he saw that two of the prisoners had turned, and the one that had been between them… well, there wasn’t much left.

The guards at the gate ushered him through and he drove around to the service entrance they used to access their living quarters. There were double the number of security at that entrance as when he had left. This couldn’t be good.

He found Maria in the main office they used to deal with any business the trading post needed to handle – from vendor issues to dealing with criminals. As he ducked his head inside, he could easily tell that they were dealing with the latter.

A shabbily-dressed man knelt on the ground in front of the desk, a guard on either side holding him up roughly. He was pleading with Maria, but Victor couldn’t quite make out what it was he was saying through his blubbering sobs.

“Ah, Victor! You are back. Perfect timing, we can head to dinner in a moment,” she greeted him warmly, gesturing to the empty seat beside her. “I was just finishing up with Francis here. That will be three days on the fence.”

The man’s head shot up, eyes wide in terror. As Maria’s men hauled the guilty party out the door, Maria turned to face Victor.

“How was La Reina?” she asked.

“Good, good,” he replied, attempting nonchalance, “Seems like I missed out on some excitement around here?”

“There was a fight. People were injured. A few people were killed. Our holding cells are already overflowing, so I had to improvise,” she said, shrugging it off.

Her flippant response burned Victor up but he continued to play it cool. “I suppose some things cannot be avoided.”

“The criminals out front serve two purposes, Victor- Not only are they there for punishment, they are a warning to anyone else who thinks we are too soft to hold our own ground.”

He knew she had a point. He also knew Madison was not going to like it. She had a reputation for being cunning and ruthless, but fair; bringing back the Proctors barbaric tortures were not exactly in line with her brand anymore.

But he couldn’t say anything, not yet. Playing both sides was something Victor had vast experience with. “What started the fight?” he asked, changing the topic.

“What starts any fight these days,” she said, “Someone wanted something that didn’t belong to them.”

Getting up from the desk, Maria poured two glasses of wine, handing one to Victor. “When we came here, after the dead first started walking, it was not meant to be forever. We would stay here until the world started back up again. But the people are starting to realize that is never going to happen.”

Nodding, Victor agreed. It wasn’t something he had to lie about, either; it had become abundantly clear that there was no one coming to save the day, no top-secret-government scientist waiting to flip a switch and set everything aright.

“They want electricity. That want warm showers. They have been promised these things and are growing tired of waiting,” Maria finished.

Victor heard the implication in her voice. Madison had promised gasoline. Fuel for cars was one thing - being able to run generators freely would make life a lot more comfortable for everyone. He didn’t think they had to worry too much about air pollution or global warming anymore.

“Hopefully we won’t have to wait much longer,” he said. “Madison should be back in the next week.”

“And you will support me, even if she disagrees?”

Lying through his perfect white teeth, Victor replied, “Once she’s got the fuel route in place, she’s not going to want to stick around here; not with Nick and Alicia back in La Reina.”

Maria nodded thoughtfully. “She’ll go play with her doll-house and leave us to run a proper business here.”

Putting on his biggest devil-may-care grin, he reassured her, “Madison doesn’t want to run the show; she wants be with her children, to have Christmas dinners. Grandbabies.” It almost hurt him to speak of Madison that way. Those were her own words though, back at the dam. And at the time, he had believed her.

Over the course of the last year, though, Victor had seen a change in his friend. Her motivations seemed to have shifted. He knew for a fact that Madison was not going to go settle down in La Reina and play Suzy Q. Homemaker. The truth of the matter was that Nick and Alicia didn’t want her there. Even though they may not have ever said it out loud, Victor knew. And so did Madison.

Not that they weren’t getting along when they were together; on the contrary, it seemed that they were able to play happy family in small doses. Quality over quantity. The problem was without her children’s lives to control, she had changed her focus to controlling… everything else.

Daniel’s nickname for her had proven apt. She was truly the queen of the southwest. When she came back with a fleet of fuel tankers, she would be unstoppable. That though alone set Victor’s mind at ease. Maria could bitch all she wanted about Madison - the people would never turn on her again once she brought them back out of the dark ages. Machines would run, ammunition would be made, food would be preserved; Victor could almost hear the ice clinking in his glass.

His smile no longer false, Victor stood and offered his arm to Maria. “Shall we?”

 

\--

 

Although the route they had taken when they were headed east was clearer, and safer, Madison did not want to face any of the remaining outposts along the way. Instead, she and Troy took a slightly longer route. It had given her some additional time to clear her mind.

Without the gasoline, without Mel and his men to courier and defend it, what else did she have to offer? It had been a pipe dream from the start to get a refinery up and running in such a short time; her contingency plan had always been to fill as many tankers as possible with whatever stock was on hand. It wouldn’t last long, but it would have bought another six months, maybe a year.

Those plans had gone up in flames, literally. That asshole hadn’t even been a real scientist; Troy filled her in on the man’s lie once they had gotten a good distance away from the refinery. She was shocked Troy hadn’t shot him dead on their way out, and told him as much.

“I missed.”

Snickering, Madison had gone back to her thoughts. They were going to lose Texas, for sure. The groups they had met with along the way were expecting fuel and supplies that she would no longer be able to provide. As long as Taqa was in charge of the reservation, she figured she could count on them as allies. Some type of tribute would have to be paid, but La Reina had a stockpile they could tap into in case of emergency.

The bazaar was the keystone, though. It was the center of commerce, essentially the only one left. A few smaller settlements were nearby, and as long as Madison held the bazaar, they’d still be loyal to her, too. All in all, she figured it could be worse. Once the oppressive heat of the summer had cooled, they could try expanding south, or maybe even north.

It took two days to make it to the reservation outside of Tucson. Walker welcomed them, his concern stamped plainly on his face when he saw it was only Madison and Troy who had made the return trip. Ushering them into his cabin, he gave them some food and water. Madison was thankful that he waited until they had eaten before he pressed them for any details.

The story hadn’t taken long, and admitting they were duped by a man like Eugene had not been easy. Walker seemed understanding, and he easily agreed to Madison’s offer of additional supplies until they figured out their next move. Medical supplies were just as important as gasoline nowadays, anyway.

“You should head to the bazaar next. The people there will be disappointed, you’ll need to find a way to appease them, too,” he advised.

“Maria can handle that. She’s been pushing for more control for months, let her handle this fiasco,” Madison scoffed.

“Regardless, you should show your face. The Proctors ran, you can’t do the same if you expect them to follow you after your own failure.”

The f-word struck her like a slap to the face. Coming from Taqa somehow made it worse. Failure. She had failed. She could taste the word in her mouth, bitter and offensive. “I’ll figure something out,” she replied quietly.

Troy looked over at her, his expression somewhere between sadness and fury. Despite the uneasy truce between Walker and the last remaining Otto, Madison didn’t think it wise to stick around to see how strong it was.

“We’ll head there tomorrow,” she finally conceded.

“You’re welcome to stay the night. There’s an empty trailer you can bunk in,” Walker offered, leading them across the yard.

They wanted to get on the road early, so they turned in as soon as they got settled. Madison found her head swimming with worries; she was finally drifting to sleep when she heard the front door creak open. Before she could even open her eyes fully, she heard Troy launch himself at the intruder, tackling him to the floor in the small galley kitchen.

“Shhhhh! Stop! Fuckin- Troy get off me right now or I will tear your head off and shove it up your-,”

“Let him go, Troy,” she called to him softly. Lee was keeping his voice down, but she still recognized it. His annoyance with Troy had only confirmed it further. “What are you doing here?”

She heard him untangle himself from Troy as she sat up. He must have heard her move to light a candle, because he stopped her.

“Don’t. I shouldn’t even be here,” he whispered in the darkness.

Oh no. That couldn’t be good.

“Talk,” Troy hissed.

“They’re setting you up. Maria Lu…,” he hesitated, but Madison knew what he would say before he finished. “… and Taqa.”

Madison heard the safety click off of Troy’s gun. Lee must have heard it, too, as he started talking again quickly.

“Victor was here last week. He told us Maria Lu is staging some kind of takeover. Things have gotten… really ugly there.” He shared some of the details Victor had given him about the sad state of affairs. Madison wished she was shocked by it, but she had resigned herself to it already.

She had counted on being able to call on Walker and his people to help them get it back, though. Those hopes were dashed instantly, and Madison felt the world tilt beneath her feet. Sitting down on the small couch, she was finding it hard to breathe. She suddenly knew how Troy must feel every day of his life: Consumed by blinding rage.

“What is waiting for me at the bazaar,” she asked, struggling to control her anger, again fairly certain she knew the answer. She was starting to think she must be a bit clairvoyant. Perhaps it was just that her luck had run out.

“I don’t know exactly. I know it’s not good.”

Her mind whirled. “And La Reina? Are they… have they been attacked?”

“No. Not yet at least. Victor didn’t mention anything about that, but he was also convinced you were coming back with something. Anything.” Madison ignored the accusation in his words.

“Why are you telling us this? How do we know _you're_ not trying to set us up?” Troy asked.

Heaving a sigh, Lee paused. “Victor risked his own life to save mine. He lost his hand while protecting me.” It sounded as if he was on the verge of tears. He was torn between Taqa, a man who had been a brother to him, and Victor, a man he owed his life to. “My wife is pregnant. I can’t afford to go up against Taqa. Too many members of the tribe have already been complaining about how their land is being overrun.”

He was definitely crying now. “This is the best I can do. I’m hoping you can find a way to get him out of there. I honestly don’t know if his cover has been blown with Maria Lu. If you can’t save him, at least I honored his last request of me. He risked his life again to warn us, so we could pass it on to you. It’s… it’s all I can do…”

Madison was not sure if the world was real anymore. It couldn’t possibly be. No one in history could have ever attained everything and lost it just as quickly as she just had. “It won’t be long until they come for La Reina. Lu's had her eye on the big house since she first saw it.”

“My hands are tied,” Lee said, resignation in his voice. “The nation isn’t going to join her in a war over your town, but they won’t step in to prevent it either.”

 _What bullshit,_ she thought. In this hell they lived in, you had to pick sides. If you weren’t an ally, you were most certainly an enemy. That meant the reservation was now her enemy. Holding onto her sanity by a thread, she thanked Lee, wishing him well as he left – although she secretly hoped he got eaten on his way back to his wife and unborn child.

Madison and Troy would be on the road before sunup, to deal with the next level of shit she'd have to sort out. Troy had tried to talk to her, his awkward attempts at comforting her only making it worse. She laid in bed, sure sleep would never come for her. Thankfully, it did.

She was asleep so soundly that she didn’t hear the door creak for the second time that night. It would only be the third time the door opened and closed that she finally stirred, waking from one nightmare into another.

 

\--

 

It was dusk as Alicia made her way back to the big house. John had been running a low-grade fever, and it was still best he stay sequestered away in the hospital lest there be some type of complication. Those kind of complications these days caused even bigger complications, and before you know it, everyone was dead. In the old world it may have seemed cruel to keep someone handcuffed to a bed while they recover; no one questioned it anymore.

Heading back to the mansion, she was suddenly struck by the beauty of the area. The moon was rising over the mountains behind the house, and the sky was a fiery orange bleeding into deep purple. The night was still; the summer had a hot one so far, and Alicia thought they might be on the verge of a proper heat wave. She made a mental note to check on the town’s water stores.

The house was dark when she came in. There were some dishes out in the kitchen; it looked like Daniel, Nick and Charlie had eaten dinner already. She was exhausted, and grabbed some crackers on her way up to bed. As she got to the top of the stairs, she heard music coming from behind the closed door to the office at the end of the hall. Peeking her head in, Alicia almost cried when she saw the sight within.

Nick was stretched out on the rug, shuffling through a box of vinyl albums. A vintage phonograph was playing a song Alicia had heard before, some classic rock with a catchy chorus. In the middle of the room, Charlie and Daniel were dancing. Seeing the older man prancing around, occasionally picking Charlie up and twirling her, filled Alicia’s hear to bursting.

“Hey, ‘Leesha! Come join us,” Nick called to her. Charlie and Daniel greeted her in kind, not missing a beat as they continued moving to the music.  

As if she would voluntarily leave this happy scene. Curling up on the couch with her crackers, she gestured for them to continue. “Don’t let me stop you,” she said.

A year ago, the world had ended. Alicia remembered the initial panic, the riots, the government stepping in to no avail. Losing Matt. Losing Liza. Watching the city burn from Victor’s boat, she hadn’t thought she’d ever be able to smile again. It was nice to find she was wrong on that point.

“How’s John?” Nick inquired.

“Good, actually. His temperature is back below 100, so I think we’re in the clear for infection at this point. We’ll keep him on antibiotics for a while longer just in case.”

The upbeat song ended and blended into a slower one. Alicia knew this one for sure; they used it in pretty much every war movie she had ever seen. As she listened, she found the lyrics oddly specific now. Weren’t they at war now themselves? Every day, surrounded by death, constantly in fear of attack?

_There's something happening here_

_What it is ain't exactly clear_

_There's a man with a gun over there_

_Telling me I got to beware_

Charlie plopped down on the couch next to Alicia, helping herself to some crackers, and Daniel sat down in the big leather chair to catch his breath. Based on his next comment, she must not have been the only one who made the correlation with the song and it’s common usage.

“You know, there are places in the world where not much would have changed,” he said, looking towards Charlie. “My home country, El Salvador, has always been a dangerous place. I grew up with a gun in my hands, like you are now.”

The little girl listened intently, as did Nick and Alicia, although they had heard Daniel’s story many times before. Wasn’t this a thing normal families did? Gather around their grandparents, listen to them impart pearls of wisdom from their youth? Alicia honestly didn’t know – her family had never been normal to start with.

Back at the ranch, she remembered telling Nick that it didn’t matter where they settled down; each place would be just as terrible as the next. She had run from them shortly after that, thinking she needed to distance herself from everyone she loved in order to stay sane.

She had been wrong. In fact, the exact opposite had turned out to be true. It didn’t matter where they were, as long as they were together. The sentiment was almost gagginglgy cliché, but there really wasn’t room for cynicism in this life anymore.

Her brother was sober, which was something she had never thought would happen. She had stopped praying for him to get clean after the first few years of his addiction, instead begging God that she at least wouldn’t be the one to find his body. The past year they had spent together was time she never thought they would have. Seeing him sprawled comfortably on the ground, bopping his head and tapping his toe to the music, made the hell they had to endure to get here all worth it.

Nick must have felt her eyes on him, as he looked over and made a silly face at her.

“This song’s kind of a bummer,” Charlie cut in.

Alicia laughed and agreed enthusiastically. Charlie walked over to the box of records and flipped through. One of the covers must have caught Daniel’s eye, a plain cover with some cartoony line drawings on it, and he told Charlie to pull it out.

“That one. Nick, put on side B, track 2,” he said, a twinkle in his eye. “I used to play this for Griselda when Ofelia was a baby.”

_I'll light the fire, you put the flowers in the vase that you bought today_

_Staring at the fire for hours and hours while I listen to you_

_Play your love songs all night long for me, only for me_

The cheery harmonies of Crosby, Stills, & Nash poured from the oversized antique speaker as they sang about their lovely home. Daniel walked to Alicia, bowing and extending his hand. “May I have this dance?”

Accepting, she stood and let Daniel lead her in a proper waltz. Charlie had Nick up and moving around too, trying to mimic Daniel’s smooth choreography, and failing hilariously. Soon the four were laughing as they each tried to outdo each other with more and more ridiculous dance moves. Alicia remembered being silly like this with her brother when they were young; she loved when he let his goofy side show. He had his own darkness inside him, but he also had the kindest heart of anyone she had ever know.

They spent the rest of the evening like that, just enjoying each others company, enjoying being alive. As she drifted off to sleep that night, Alicia found herself hoping things could stay this peaceful forever.  

 

\--

 

Troy’s eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly, and he didn’t think he’d woken Madison when he slipped out of the trailer. He hadn’t been entirely sure what his plan was at the time; perhas he just needed to step outside to get some fresh air. It wasn’t until he found himself standing in the shadows outside of Walker’s cabin that he realized what he had to do.

Eugene had deserved to die, and he was angry with himself that he had missed his shot. The blubbering oaf had fucked Madison over, and no one did that and got away with it. And now, Walker had done the same thing. In his case it was the final straw in a long-standing feud that he did not intend to let go any further.

He would get to avenge both his father’s death and Madison’s honor at the same time. Even though it was Nick who actually pulled the trigger, Troy knew it was only at Taqa’s direction, and only to save Madison from having to do it herself. He admired Nick for that, honestly, and in hindsight – he liked to think he would have done the same thing for Madison. She had done so much for him in such a short time, more than his own mother had his entire life.

Maybe he was a mama’s boy after all, as she had once chided him for.

Inside the cabin, Walker turned off his lantern. Troy waited as long as he could before he carefully unlatched the heavy wooden door and made his way across the dirt floor to the bed where Walker slept. He saw the outline of his body under the blankets; although it was cowardly stabbing a man in the back, he decided it would be quicker and easier if he just did it. No need for a battle, as much as Troy would have enjoyed beating the shit out of the man before he finally ended his life.

Standing above the bed, he raised his hunting knife high in two hands, driving it down with as much force as he possibly could. As he plunged the blade deep into the mass on the bed, Troy realized too late that Walker had seen him coming. The lump was only blankets and pillows, which begged the question of where Taqa was.

Troy didn’t have to wait long to find out the answer. A club of some kind hit him hard across his back, knocking the air out of him as he fell to his hands and knees. With the curtains closed, the room was pitch black, so he tried to quiet his breath, relying on his ears to pick up the next attack. A small shuffle off to his left alerted him to where his attacker stood, and he pushed himself up and at where he assumed Taqa’s center of gravity was, hoping to catch him off guard.

He did not. Walker must have anticipated it, and parried him off with the wooden bat, bringing it down hard on Troy’s left shoulder. The pain was intensely familiar. His father had tripped him down the stairs once when he was younger, resulting in a dislocated shoulder and a rare trip to the emergency room. Jeremiah had tried to pop it back in himself at first, but was too drunk. Jake had finally stepped in after hearing his brother’s screams.

“I’m not stupid, boy. You’ve been looking for an excuse to kill me your whole life. People don’t change,” he heard Walker’s stoic voice from the other side of the room.

“Yeah, well, why keep up the charade then? Why not have just shot me at dinner? Or call the rest of your tribe now?” He shifted himself on the ground, trying to follow the sound of Taqa’s voice to anticipate his next attack.

“You’re not the only one looking for vengeance.”

This time Troy heard the whistle of the club as it cut through the air, and managed to roll out of it’s trajectory just in time. Not expecting the miss, Walker lost his footing momentarily, and Troy didn’t delay in striking. He was still on the ground, which made his options for takedown limited, but he at least knew how to even their odds.  

Slashing through the thick denim of Walker’s jeans to the delicate skin behind his knees, Troy heard an audible pop as the tendons were severed. Taqa fell to the ground beside him, yelling in agony.

 _Fuck_ , Troy thought. Someone was bound to have heard that. He drug himself on top of Taqa, his left arm limp and useless, his back searing in pain from where the first blow had landed. Somehow he managed to get his knee on Taqa’s throat, quieting him as he felt along the floor for his knife.

As he gripped the hilt, Taqa pushed forward with all of his strength, somersaulting Troy forward, attempting to pin the younger man down as he had just been. It was an awkward maneuver, but he landed a punch square to Troy’s jaw, making him see stars. Walker had managed to get hold of his weapon again, and swung it backward, lifting himself off of Troy’s body long enough to build momentum.

Troy saw his opportunity and brought his knife forward, plunging it deep into Walker’s chest. Walker froze, a shocked gasp escaping his throat, looking down at where Troy’s hand held the knife. His adrenaline pumping, Troy pulled the knife back and drove it forward again, hitting closer to his heart this time. Almost instantly, the man’s body went limp above him, toppling forward.

Starting to panic, he rolled the lifeless corpse off of him. Taqa’s blood had soaked his clothes, and looking down at himself, he thought back to the first time he had walked with the dead. He was much bloodier at the moment. Nick would be proud. 

There was no time to try to hide the body, no time to try to come up with a convincing lie. Not that anyone on the reservation would believe a thing Troy Otto had to say. They knew who he was, and what he had done. There was no shame in running now, if only to protect Madison as she made her way home.

Now more than ever, he knew she needed him to keep her safe against her growing list of enemies.

 

\--

 

If the sound of the door gently closing hadn’t woken her, the smell certainly would have. Blood had a very particular smell, a smell she had been acquainted with from an early age. Metallic, like rusted iron, or a handful of copper pennies.

She could see Troy’s silhouette in the moonlight; he seemed to be swaying slightly, but he made no sound. He must have heard her sit up.

“I had to do it,” she heard him say as she reached for the flashlight that was in her pack. Flicking it on, her eyes took a second to adjust to the brightness. Troy stood in front of her, a faraway look in his eyes. He was covered in blood from head to toe. “I had to.”

“What did you do?” she managed to choke out, not bothering to keep her voice down. Soon the camp would be in chaos, and she needed to make sure the two of them were out of there before then. Grabbing their few possessions, Madison shoved Troy back out the door and hurried them to where their jeep was parked. As she started the ignition, a shout for help came from the darkness behind them, followed by a shrill scream.

Madison stomped her foot on the gas, peeling out as fast as she could. The sun was still hours from rising, and traveling in the dark was dangerous for too many reasons, but they had no choice. Once again, she was forced into a decision by Troy’s rash actions.  

Her life was unraveling at the seams, and she had no idea what she was going to do next. Part of her felt like shooting Troy and leaving him to rot in the desert; she only didn’t because she knew Nick would blame her for it if he didn’t make it home. He knew Troy was a survivor, and it would only be when Madison was done using him that she would allow him to die – or be the one to cause it.

As she drove into the early morning, Madison knew she had some hard decisions to make in the near future, and she wasn’t looking forward to making any of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******FINAL WARNING******
> 
> Fear the Walking Dead (until S4, at least) never pulled any punches in their depictions of the cruel and violent world it was set in, and I am holding true to that. I love all of the characters, and in a perfect world they'd all live happily ever after raising puppies and eating ice cream. For the purposes of this story, though, there has to be suffering and death. 
> 
> And from here on out, there's gonna be a lot of both.
> 
> *********************

It was mid-morning when Madison and Troy finally made it back to La Reina. She had driven the whole way, her head full of doubt and fear for the future for the first time in months. After they had pulled over briefly for her to help him pop his shoulder back into the socket, Troy had managed to fall asleep for a good portion of the trip. Seeing him dozing off, sleeping peacefully while still drenched in Walker’s blood was unsettling.

Of course, she had wanted to kill Walker, too, though, there was no denying that. Luckily, her good sense had talked her out of attempting it herself. She knew that relationships could be mended, and hadn’t thought it would be difficult to gain the reservation back as allies once they had taken the bazaar back from Maria Lu.

Now, thanks again to Troy’s impulsive actions, there was no way that alliance would ever recover. The internal debate was raging inside of her the whole drive back. Troy was a killing machine, loyal to her and her family, but a killing machine nonetheless. More than once during the trip did she think back on all of the chances she had given the young man, and all of the times she could have ended him.

Nick might buy it if she invented a story about how the young man had fought valiantly to protect her, ultimately dying in battle, the way he always wanted to go out. Alicia, however, was a different story. After the unfortunate incident with Luciana, Madison saw the revulsion in her daughter’s eyes whenever they were together. That damage was done, though, and she’d do it again to protect Nick; she didn’t feel any guilt about it, more annoyance that Alicia had been there to witness it.

Fortunately for everyone, most of all Troy, Madison was down to only a few able-bodied soldiers left at La Reina, and she would need him for the battle ahead.

Some townsfolk were out as they pulled down the main dirt road leading to the estate they had made their own. Madison drove straight through, avoiding eye contact as more inquiring minds popped their heads out to see who had come back. The rumbling of the engine as she pulled it into the driveway must have alerted them, as Nick and Alicia rushed out the front door, followed by Daniel and a small girl she had never seen before.

“Mom!” Nick ran over to her as she climbed out of the vehicle, his eyes growing wide as he saw the carnage Troy was still dressed in. “Jesus, what happened?”

“Where is everyone? Where is Mel?” Alicia asked, the tone in her voice making it clear that she knew the answer.

Shaking her head, Madison motioned for everyone to go back inside. “Let’s go talk in the office; there are too many prying eyes around.” Indeed, a small group of the villagers had started making their way towards the main gates. They knew better than to approach Madison without being asked; her temper was legendary, and more than one person had gotten a tongue lashing for asking the wrong questions.

Nick put his hand on the little girl’s shoulder, crouching down to talk to her. “Why don’t you go visit with John for awhile?”

The child nodded solemnly and headed back down the front yard towards the hospital.

 _Newcomers_? she thought. Well, wasn’t that was convenient. The town had remained undiscovered for the better part of the year, and suddenly they had at least two strangers living among them. They had gotten soft, living here. Too comfortable, too trusting. That was her fault for allowing it.

Troy moved towards the door, but Madison stopped him. “Uh-uh. Get that shit off of you first.” They had rigged a solar shower in the back yard, and she waved her arm in that general direction, still not daring to look at him, lest her blood begin to boiling again. “Nick, get him some clean clothes.”

The boys did as she told them, and wasn’t that a nice change for once? No pushback, no hemming or hawing, no whining; these children had tested the limits of her patience since the world had ended, refusing to see that all she wanted was the best for them.

Alicia and Daniel followed her upstairs to the office, where she poured herself a glass of whatever was in the first bottle she saw. As the booze burned down her throat, Madison’s mind landed on Victor. Lee had said her drinking buddy had fooled Maria into thinking he had flipped loyalties, but who knew if that was true, or how long it would stay that way. Word of the failure to deliver on her promises, combined with the murder of Qualetaqa Walker at the hands of one of her own men, would quickly reach the trading post. When it did, Victor would no longer be safe.

First things first, she reminded herself. “Who is John?” she asked, draining the last drops of bourbon from her glass and refilling it. Settling into the leather chair behind the mahogany desk, Madison realized how exhausted she really was. It was draining trying to keep all of these people alive. Especially when all of them seemed hell-bent on getting themselves killed.

“Two people showed up, about a week ago. The little girl, Charlie, and her guardian, John. He was shot escaping the bazaar,” Alicia informed her. “They said it’s gotten pretty bad there.”

“That is the understatement of the year,” Madison said.

As soon as Nick and Troy joined them, she launched into the events of the last few days, starting with meeting Abraham in the library, and ending with Troy’s unilateral decision to murder Taqa. He had kept quiet during her whole spiel, eyes on the ground, not even cutting in to answer the questions that the rest of the group had interjected. The fact that he suddenly seemed ashamed of his actions was almost amusing. From the looks on her children’s faces, it appeared they did not find any humor in it.

“So as of right now, we have two groups of heavily armed enemies who have more than a few reasons to want us dead. Not to mention the fact that we have two possible spies who have been living among you for a week, who could be feeding intel back to Maria Lu-“

Nick cut her off. “They’re not spies. They’re good people.”

“You’re not exactly the world’s best judge of character,” Madison spat back at him, her eyes flitting to Troy, his head still hung low. “I’ll be the one to make the call if they stay or not. It may be too late, anyway.”

A heavy silence hung in the air. The realization that their world had once again been flipped on its axis was hitting all of them.

“So what now?” Daniel said finally.

That was the question Madison had been dreading because, in all truth, she had no idea. She wanted to grab her children and run; pack them into a car and head north, try to start over again. She also wanted to test out the grenade launchers they had found stored in the armory, see how many it would take to burn the trading post to the ground.

Her first priority, however, was Victor. “We need someone to get word to Victor that he is in danger. Someone Maria has never seen before.”

“Mom, she’s been here plenty of times, I don’t think anyone is going to be safe. And for all we know, Taqa’s people are already making their way here. We can’t risk losing anyone else,” Alicia said. Always the voice of reason, always pragmatic, sometimes to the point of coldness; Madison saw so much of herself in her daughter, she didn’t know whether to be proud or fear for her own life.

Still, Madison wasn’t about to give up on the man who had saved them all from Los Angeles, and she told them as much.

“He’s also the man who lost us the dam,” Nick reminded her.

“And Troy lost us the ranch. And Daniel lost us Thomas’ home.” As she spoke the words, Troy seemed to sink even lower, as if melting into the floor would have been preferable to hearing about his past misdeeds any further.

Daniel, on the other hand, had snapped to attention, his eyes sparked with a fire that had been dormant for the past few months as he had played the wise grandfather to the town. Returned was the assassin, the killer, the man who had personally delivered more than a hundred men to their deaths.

“You are not thinking straight, Madison,” Daniel said, his words cool and calculated. “Right now, we need to focus on protecting ourselves.”

“You’ve wanted Victor dead since the minute you met him, don’t act like you’ve got the town’s best interest at heart.”

“Don’t you act like you do anymore, either.”

“Oh fine, I’m the bad guy now for wanting to save our friend? Our _family_?” Nick and Alicia had joined Troy in averting their eyes from her, remaining silent at the question. Rubbing her eyes, she exhaled sharply. “Fine. I’ll figure something out on my own like I always have to.”

Alicia had apparently heard enough, and she got up abruptly and left the room. Nick and Troy followed after her, with Daniel trailing after. He turned to her as he approached the doorway, his voice softer. “Madison, please. Your family is here. It is unfortunate about Victor, but we cannot lose more people.”

Seeing she had no intention of replying, he left. Staring into the amber liquid, she felt her chest crushing inward, the rage that had started burning back at the refinery steadily growing. Cursing, she stood and threw the glass across the room, smashing it against the mirrored wall of the small bar that Victor had ransacked before they had moved to the bazaar.

Resigned to yet another defeat, she attempted to calm herself, trying to not imagine what could be happening to her friend at that very moment. Maria Lu could be ruthless, and Madison hoped that she would at least show Victor some mercy. There was always a chance he escaped on his own, too. The uncertainty she was facing was maddening.

She wouldn’t have to wait long to found out.

 

\--

 

It had been a few days since he had gotten back from the reservation, and everything had seemed normal. As normal as life could be when you were living amongst low-class criminals in a post-apocalyptic world. Unsurprisingly to Victor, he had found that there was a much higher survival rate among those who had not been burdened by such silly things as conscience and morals prior to the end times. He counted himself among them.

Or at least he had. He had prided himself on being a high-class criminal. Fine suits, expensive cars, and victims who could afford the loss. Thomas had rescued him from that life, at least in part, but he had reverted back to his old tricks quickly as was necessitated to accomplish his one and only goal: stay alive.

Until the last con he had pulled on the Clark’s, he had not really considered them family, nor did he fool himself into thinking they felt that way about him. They were allies in the fight for survival. Of course, Victor had tried to negotiate Madison’s safety back at the dam, but he hadn’t counted on Nick and Alicia arriving and screwing everything up. And yet, even knowing the truth, that he had all but handed over the keys to the dam to the Proctors, even after they had all nearly died, he had experienced something only Thomas had ever shown him: forgiveness.

Since then, he had literally risked life and limb to repay the debt he felt in his heart. People had died because of him, and although he had not pulled the trigger himself, it weighed on him just the same. And living among the ruffians and thugs the trading post attracted was not helping the fact.

Sitting on the veranda in the shared living space, Victor considered his options carefully, as always. Taqa and Lee would make sure Madison didn’t head to the bazaar as planned, so she would no doubt head to La Reina to regroup. For all he knew, she was there now, planning another siege on the arena. They had a literal army at their disposal now and combined with their allies at the reservation, Maria didn’t stand a chance. His being on the inside was really providing no advantage; in fact, it was only putting him in more danger as the days passed by.

 _Decision made_ , Victor thought to himself, _and there was no time like the present_. Maria was at some meeting or another, so making his escape could be as calm and casual as he pleased. Heading back to his room, he grabbed his coat, fastened the one-sided leather holster that Lee had made him as a token of appreciation to his waist, and strode out into the marketplace.

It was bustling as always, and he jostled his way through the crowd, trying not to draw any attention to himself. His face was known, of course, so he got the usual deference and greetings, and returned them as he always did. The front entrance loomed ahead, and the stark brightness of the day contrasted with the dim interior, thick with the smoke from the many food areas. He could almost feel the fresh air on his face when a pair of hands clamped down on his shoulders.

“Maria would like to speak with you,” came a voice from behind him.

“Of course, I just need to grab something out of my car. Tell her I’ll be there shortly,” he responded, attempting to continue on his path out the door.

The meaty paws held him in place. “Now.”

Victor turned, keeping his lighthearted tone despite the panic he felt inside. “If you insist.”

The walk back to the office seemed shorter than usual, though he thought maybe he could attribute that to his racing heart. The door was open, and Maria sat at the metal tanker desk, flanked by several heavily armed guards.

“Sit,” she said, gesturing to the single wooden chair in the center of the room.

As his usual place was by her side, Victor knew at once that his proverbial goose had been cooked. What he didn’t realize was how deep-fried it actually was. It’d be best to let Maria lead the conversation; it always was, when measuring up a target of a con. Let them give you all the information you needed without asking a single question.

That’s why he had been such a successful con man; the secret to getting people to trust you was to listen to them. Everyone in this world just wants to be heard and understood, and he had always been a good listener. Putting on his best “Who, me?” face, he blinked innocently at Maria.

“We’ve gotten word that Madison has returned to La Reina,” she started.

“Odd, I thought the plan had been for her to come back here first, to offload the first shipment of gasoline,” Victor said.

“It was. However, with no gasoline in tow, she must not have felt the need to stop by.”

Victor’s stomach lurched, his throat suddenly dry. “No gasoline,” he muttered. “She must have realized coming back here empty-handed wouldn’t be a smart move on her part.”

“She may have realized that; what is more likely is that _someone_ tipped her off.”

“You can’t be implying I had anything to do with this? I’ve been here all week.”

Rolling her eyes, Maria signaled for the man who had led Victor in to shut the door. “This pretense is growing old, Victor. I am a very busy woman, about to be a whole lot busier, so I’d appreciate it if we could get this ugly business over with as quickly as possible. As a businessman yourself, you must understand.

Swallowing thickly, he managed a weak laugh. “Time is money.”

Maria was no longer smiling along with him. “I had you followed on your outing last week. You may credit yourself with your acting abilities, but I was raised by criminals. I know every tell in the book.”

Sitting back in her chair, she went on. “It was admirable, you wanting to warn your friends, and in Mr. Walker’s defense, he only agreed to my terms if Madison were to come back empty handed.” She laughed loudly, an evil taunting laugh that made Victor's skin crawl. “Such faith you all have in that woman.”

Victor remained silent. Taqa had sold him out, as he had once sold the man out himself. Turnabout was fair play, he supposed, but it didn’t do anything to alleviate the sting.

“Oh, now, don’t look so sad. He has to look after his own people,” she paused, “Sorry- he _had_ to look after his own people.”

This elicited a genuine response from him. “You killed him?” Victor asked, aghast.

“No! Of course not. Unlike you, my word is my bond. It was only Madison and that boy that trails after her like a kicked puppy that made it back, and she let him off his leash. What we hadn’t counted on was a mole inside the reservation. Apparently, someone relayed your warning to them.”

Lee. He had never forgotten Victor’s sacrifice for him, and under different circumstances, he would have allowed the sentiment to warm his heart. Instead, he feared he had saved the mans life only to deliver him to a more gruesome death later. “Is he…?” Victor trailed off, unable to form the words.

“The reservation takes care of their own problems.”

“And I presume you are going to take care of yours now, too. Myself being among them.”

 _So this was it_ , he thought, _this would be his last con_. Sadly, he thought back to his final moments with Thomas. Perhaps he should have joined him then after all. No matter, of course - it seemed that he would be joining his love soon.

Maria stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. “Victor, you misunderstand me. I have never believed your alliance was with me. I was simply amused to see how long you could keep up the charade. You can go back to your friends.”

Any sliver of hope he felt was quashed as he saw the scissors the woman had picked up off the desktop. “However, we do need to deliver a message to Madison. And since it has been your tongue that has gotten you in so much trouble recently-,” Maria waved to the men to grab him; strong arms pinned him down, one forcing his fingers into his mouth, prying his jaw open against Victor’s struggles.

“We’ll make sure it doesn’t cause any future issues.”

 

\--

 

Knocking softly on Troy’s bedroom door, Nick and Alicia shared a worried look. They knew that there were two sides to the troubled young man, but it had been months since he had shown any of the antagonism they had been met with when they first met him at the border. At least, that they knew of.

He had split his time between La Reina and traveling with Madison and her crew of militia. Although Nick knew there was violence involved in their takeovers of any of the hold-out communities they had encountered along the way, he had never asked for details, and Troy hadn’t offered any up. Until that morning, however, they had never seen him look so distraught over what had transpired.  

“It’s just us, man. Open up,” Nick called, his voice low. There was a rustling sound from within, and he heard the lock unlatch. Letting themselves in, they found Troy sitting back down on his bed, his back to them, shoulders slumped forward.

Shutting the door behind them, Nick leaned against the wall, Alicia sitting on the edge of the bed behind Troy. They sat like that in silence for a few minutes, none of them seeming to know where to begin.

After a while, Troy turned around to face them. His eyes were rimmed with red, his face wet with tears. Nick had only seen him look like that once before, in the minutes after he had confessed to killing his father. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Alicia reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. “Tell us what happened. Your version.”

His sister was better than him at many things, and her compassion was one of the things he had always admired about her. She didn’t offer it condescendingly; she never made you feel like she pitied you. Of the many times she had helped him through withdrawal and eventual relapse, Nick figured each time would be the last, that one day she was just going to give up on him, let him choke on his own vomit as he slept. That wasn’t Alicia though. Her love may have been tough, but it was unflappable.

Nick sat on the other side of Troy. Regardless of what Troy had done in the past, or even more recently, he was part of their family now, and family stuck together. That may have been one of the only valuable lessons Madison had imparted in them.

“I thought… she would want me to,” Troy started, his voice shaky. Madison’s distaste for the situation, and that she blamed Troy for it, was evident in her speech from earlier. Nick knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of Madison Clark’s disappointment, and it was not a feeling he’d wish on anyone.

“She’s had me do it before. More than once,” he continued. “I saw it in her face when Lee told her that Taqa had sold us out. I thought… I thought she’d be happy.”

 _Jesus_ , Nick thought. He knew that his mother had a cruel streak, but this was too much. It was apparent to everyone from the start that Troy was in desperate need of a mother-figure, and she had manipulated that to her advantage. He had not realized how far she had taken it, though.

Alicia caught his eye; judging from the anger he saw in her face, she was having the same thoughts that he was. She rubbed her hand in slow circles on Troy’s back – a gesture that Nick realized was more motherly than either of the two women who had tried to fill that void in his life.

Laughing internally, Nick realized that all three of them had been lacking in the parental love department. Not only were their mothers problematic, to say the least, but their fathers also had not been much better. Steven Clark had decided death would be preferable to spending any more time with his family; Jeremiah would have rather his children die that sacrifice his land. Could anyone blame them for turning out the way they had?

Throwing his arm around Troy’s shoulder, he joined Alicia in comforting the lost boy. Neither of them was glad Walker was dead, of course, but the fact was that the man had turned on them. There was no sense in crying over spilled blood, as it were. The only thing they could do was focus on the future.

“It’s what she does, Troy,” Nick confided. “She makes you feel like she cares, like she wants the best for you, when all she wants is to control you.”

“The minute you step out of line or go against her, she’ll turn on you,” Alicia agreed.

Although Nick had been the object of the majority of his mother’s obsessions, he knew his sister had not been immune to her wrath either. She had not always been the perfectionist over-achiever she was when the world had gone to shit. When they were younger, he remembered her being carefree, smiling, the kind of kid that everyone wanted to be around. He had always blamed his drug abuse for changing her; now he realized how much of it had to do with their mother’s reign of terror – which had begun a lot earlier than they had even known.

The admission that she had killed her own father had hit him hard. It was the reason he had tried to shoulder the burden of killing Jeremiah for her. Like Troy, he had still been trying to win his mother’s approval. Even that had not been enough for her.

No more, he decided. He was done. Madison’s plan had failed, and they were all in as much, or more, danger as they were a year ago. It was time to break free. They had both tried and failed before, but this time they would go together.

“We need to get away from her – and away from here,” he said, keeping his voice low. “There’s no way we can hold on to this place if Maria Lu wants to take it.”

Alicia nodded thoughtfully. “And if the reservation wants revenge, we need to be as far away from here as possible.”

At the mention of their former allies, Troy’s face crumpled again. “I’ll go. I’ll… I’ll hand myself over to them. I can’t let you guys pay for my mistake.”

“No.” The authority in Alicia’s voice was a bit startling, though Nick was glad for it. “This is all her doing. No one else is going to suffer because of it.”

She stood up and walked to the window. It was early afternoon, and the golden light illuminated her face. Nick could see the gears turning in her head.

“I’m going to talk to Daniel. I get the feeling he’s not thrilled with mom right now either. For now, we act like everything is normal. Don’t give her any reason to lash out,” she plotted. “If Maria attacks, we run. Together. Until then, just… just hang in there. I’ll figure something out.”

Nick found that statement slightly amusing – hadn’t that been what Madison had just said? She’d figure something out? Something about the way Alicia said it set his mind at ease, though. He trusted her judgment infinitely more than his mother’s. By the look on Troy’s face, it seemed he did as well.

They had thought they were the ones built to survive in this bleak new world; as it turned out, his baby sister might be the one to save them all.

 

\--

 

The town was different when Madison was there. Daniel had noticed, throughout the first weeks, and then months, that the people of the town had deferred more to himself, to Alicia, and even to Nick, rather than approach Madison. In the beginning, they had hailed her as their savior, their leader, putting their faith in her to deliver them from the wasteland into civilization again. The more they got to know her, the more they had realized what her priorities were, and that they were not among them.

It was a realization he had come to himself recently, as well.

Decades ago, he had left a war-torn country ruled by despots to raise a family. That family may be gone now, but he was not alone. He had once thought that his remaining on this earth after the death of Griselda and Ofelia was meant as a punishment, that he would endure _el Purgatorio_ to atone for his sins and failure to protect them. What he had come to believe now was that he was left behind to protect others who needed him.

He could still see Nick, standing on the dam, bravely sacrificing himself for his family, not to mention the people who would be hurt under the Proctor’s rule if they had held the dam. Until that point in time, his only reason for escape had been to track down and kill Victor. That such a young man was willing to put his own life on the line so that others could live had broken something inside of him. Nick had suffered as much as he had, and yet he didn’t hesitate to forfeit his own future for others.

Hauling the boy to safety, he had made a promise to God, there and then, that he would never kill for vengeance again. He would only take a life to protect those he loved. So far, he had made good on that promise, and the rewards he had reaped since then made him feel as though God had been listening.

It made their current predicament difficult. There was no doubt that they were in danger, whether from Maria’s inevitable coup, or the damage that had been done at the reservation, or simply because in this world, things fell apart. Madison’s leadership, however, no longer seemed focused on keeping her family safe as much as it did keeping everyone under her own control.

In Madison’s mind, he knew they were the same thing, and Daniel was not sure he was going to be able to stand by her side if she kept traveling down the path she was headed. He had been the one left behind to watch over Nick and Alicia as she had burned a trail across the southwest. From what he had gleaned in his time with them, neither of them had missed her much when she was gone. In fact, they seemed more anxious for her to leave when she was around.

After he had left her in the study, he had gone on a walk around the village. He knew the rest of the townsfolk would have questions, and there was no reason for them to worry until they had more information, or at least a plan. Madison needed time to calm down, then he would try to appeal to her sense of reason. Gathering the remaining militia guards, he stationed them around the perimeter of the town, his radio at his hip so he would know the moment there was any sign of attack.

Maria Lu may have been able to take over the bazaar, but he doubted _los matones_ she associated with would be willing to start a war for a few dozen houses and some antibiotics. At least, it would take some time to convince them. She would no doubt start by issuing a threat, some kind of warning to make them feel as if she had the upper hand.

The bigger threat would be from anyone looking to avenge Taqa’s death. On that front, distance was on their side. Any troops they attempted to send would have to cross hundreds of miles of desert, populated by the walking dead. They had weapons, but ammunition was scarce, and would they really want to waste it on revenge when it may be needed for defense? Would they risk their strongest warriors and leave their weakest behind, open to attack from other enemies? He wagered the answer to both was no, at least not in the short term.

That gave him the luxury of time. Everyone around him may be losing their heads; by his calculations, they were safe – for now. If Madison needed a day or two to remember what it was she was fighting for, now that she was with her children again, they could afford it.

As he finished his first tour of the town border, his radio crackled to life.

“Salazar?” a voice called.

Clicking the call button, he responded. “ _Si, adelante_.”

“There’s something coming, a car on the horizon.”

“How many?”

“It just looks like one.”

There were two possibilities he entertained. First, Victor had managed to get out of the trading post before Maria had found him out, and had made his way here. The other was that this would be her warning. Hoping for the former, but preparing for the latter, he barked orders to the men to be ready for an attack. Hustling back to the town entrance, he waved the town residents back into their homes.

Glancing back down the main strip that led through the town, he saw Madison standing on the front porch. She must have had the radio on in the office, and was making her way towards him as well. He needed to make sure he was the one to intercept the threat, so he could disseminate it to her, make sure she knew they still had the upper hand. They’d need to send back whatever messenger Maria had sent in one piece; with Madison still in a rage, lord knew how she would react.

She was still a good fifty yards away by the time the car reached the town border. It did not slow down, instead swinging a hard right and opening the passenger side door as they passed by. As Daniel saw what was shoved out the door, he sadly realized that both of his predictions had come true in part.

This was Maria’s threat, and Victor had managed to make it back to the town.

The man’s body tumbled in the dirt as the car sped back away. The guards looked to Daniel for instructions to shoot, but he waved them to stand down as he rushed to where Victor had landed. A glance over his shoulder showed Madison running now, having realized what was going on.

Victor’s hands and feet were bound, and he was gagged. The gag in his mouth was drenched in blood. By the looks of his face, he had been beaten fairly severely some time ago, thought it was difficult to tell what injuries he had just sustained from being flung out of a vehicle at forty miles per hour.

“Get Alicia!” he barked to the men who were gathering around him. “Bring a stretcher!”

By some horrible miracle, Victor was still conscious. One of his eyes was all but swollen shut, but the pain he saw in the other one filled him with such grief he had not felt since the loss of his daughter. That he should feel this way about a man who he had tried to kill, the man responsible for the twisted scar on his face, was beyond comprehension.

“Hold on, _hermano_ ,” he whispered as soothingly as he could. “You’re home. We’re going to fix you.”

Within moments, the rest of their makeshift family had gathered around them. Madison had charged after the car, firing her weapon at them in vain. Alicia had taken charge, lifting his clothes to see the extent of his injuries. There was a deep, dark purple bruise spreading against his side, and from the lumpy appearance of his chest, there were a few broken ribs within. Even though the girl was trying to keep her calm, the tears streaming down her face made plain how dire the situation was.

Daniel helped Nick and Troy try to lift him in vain, eliciting a gurgling scream from Victor's bound mouth. Madison crouched down, cutting the fabric that bound him free. “Victor, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry, I wanted to help. I was going to come get you.”

He turned his head to her as much as he could, his mouth opening and closing as blood dripped out the side. Daniel knew at once what fate had befallen him. He had doled out the same punishment to many a 'rat' he had encountered in his youth.

“Victor, please, say something _. Get him some water!_ ” Madison screamed at no one in particular, grabbing at the man’s shirt.

Grabbing her by the shoulders, Daniel pulled Madison off of him. “He can’t.”

“What do you mean, he can’t! He-,”

“They cut out his tongue.”

The stunned silence filled the hot desert air. Nick had turned away, bent over, his hands on his knees as he tried to keep from retching; Troy was attending to the boy. Alicia was still by Victor’s side, holding his hand, shoulders hitching with sobs. Looking up to her mother, she shook her head.

“There’s… He’s bleeding internally. I can’t… I don’t know how to fix it.”

Madison knelt by her friend’s side, gently stroking his forehead. Daniel saw the anguish in her eyes, a combination of rage and sadness that he knew could lead to bad decisions. Victor managed to focus on her, managing a small smile through his pain. He locked eyes with Madison, the meaning behind his pleading look clear.

“I can’t. Please- just…” she started, but the man reached out, firmly grabbing her hand, nodding his head. A lone tear slid down his face.

Daniel picked her gun up off the ground where she had dropped it and handed to her. Moving to Alicia, he guided the girl away gently, turning her from the scene that was about to play out. She wrapped her arms around him in response, burying her face in his shoulder.

Madison looked to Daniel one last time. There was nothing more he could offer her. Taking a deep breath, she leaned down and kissed Victor gently on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

As the sun began to set over La Reina, a single gunshot pierced the air.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with last chapter's warnings, here's a BIG OLD reminder that this story has the UNHAPPY ENDING tag on it.
> 
> I apologize for typos and grammar shit, editing is hard, and I honestly don't want to read this chapter ever again myself.

There was an impromptu town meeting on the front lawn of the big house. Madison was their leader, but she had been gone for a long time, and rarely spent much time there when she wasn’t on the road. The villagers ultimately looked to Alicia, Nick, and Daniel for guidance. She knew she needed to get them on her side.

“Maria Lu has declared war on us. We should take the fight to her, or at least get ready to defend ourselves here,” Madison kept her voice calm and even. She needed to appeal to their sense of reason, convince them she was not making a rash decision to avenge Victor’s death.

“We have enough weapons and ammunition to defend ourselves, at least for a while,” Daniel interjected. “I’m not saying it’s what we should do, I am only saying it is an option.”

Beaming at his confirmation, Madison started to detail how they would prepare for an attack. Before she got too far into her plan, Alicia cut her off. “We’re not fighting.”

Madison’s head snapped to attention. “What do you mean? What other option do we have?”

“We can leave, find somewhere else to call home,” Nick answered. “There’s no shortage of abandoned neighborhoods nowadays.”

Gritting her teeth, Madison conceded to the latter part of his statement. “If we run, though, everyone will know – there will be no coming back from this.” It wasn’t that she was trying to hold on to whatever small amount of power she still had left - although that certainly played into it – she was more concerned with how this would all play out in the long term for them all.

No one responded.

“So we run, tail between our legs?” Madison scoffed. “Give up everything we’ve worked for? Let them take over our _home_?” She looked pointedly at Troy, obviously trying to needle him by reminding him of the events that transpired at the ranch. He kept his eyes on the ground, not acknowledging the jab. His innocent-victim act was grating on her last nerve now.

“None of that matters if we’re dead,” Nick pointed out bluntly.

Changing her tactics, Madison appealed to Alicia. “They might not even attack us. They aren’t stupid, they know we are still heavily armed.” She looked to Daniel, who nodded in agreement, albeit not as enthusiastically as the first time he backed her up.

“We’re leaving, Mom.”

Incredible, Madison thought. After everything she had done for her children, they continued to second-guess her, and publicly. Scanning the crowd, she could easily gauge where the majority opinion fell. There was no point in her continuing to argue her side; no one was going to be won over by her words. Diplomacy was never her strong suit, nor was tact.

She didn’t need them to agree with her, though. It had never bothered her before, going against the popular vote for the greater good. Someone had to make the hard decisions, and no one else was jumping up and down for the opportunity.

It was in her best interest to play along for the time being. There was no changing anyone’s mind, but a little extra time wouldn’t hurt her plan. She was just going to have to show them that her way was the right way.

“Okay. Okay, we’ll leave,” Madison said, smiling broadly at her daughter. “I know when I’m beat.”

Although Alicia didn’t smile in response, there was no indication Madison could see that she doubted her lie in any way.

“Until we leave, I want double patrols at the borders. Troy, Daniel – work together to make sure anyone who can fight is armed – _just in case._ Alicia, you and Nick coordinate what we’re bringing with us – We’re going to have limited space for cargo, so we need to prioritize what we pack.”

Why would anyone doubt her intentions; not only had she conceded to them, she was leading the charge. “Everyone get a good night’s sleep, too. We may not be guaranteed that for some time. You may have forgotten, but it _is_ still dangerous out there.” She couldn’t help but add that last little dig. They had gone soft living here, just like she had predicted.

The crowd dispersed, everyone heading in the direction of whatever assignment Madison had given them. The stranger that had arrived right before she did approached her – John something-or-other; he had his hat in his hands as he walked towards her. The gesture was polite, and Madison found it entirely out of place in the new world. There was no time to think about things like manners.

“Ma’am, I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your kids taking care of Laura and myself,” John said. He spoke slowly, with very little inflection, reminding Madison briefly of her recent acquaintance with Eugene. The comparison did nothing to endear the man to her.

“Well, seeing as how we just lost about twenty mouths to feed, we’ll barely notice you’re here,” she responded glibly. Perhaps it was too harsh, but she had no time for this kind of nonsense at the moment. John got the point, ducking his head awkwardly as he turned away, grabbing the little girl’s hand as he headed towards the mansion.

It would have been a good strategy, if the man was a spy, to keep him close – it burned her to no end knowing that he had actually been invited to stay under the same roof in a gesture of pure goodwill. They were making stupid, dangerous mistakes in her absence. For a moment, Madison wondered if everything that had happened over the last few days was for the best. Her children obviously needed her around more than she had anticipated. 

The situation they were in was a perilous one, and Madison needed to make sure she was prepared for every potential outcome. Nothing could fall outside of her control from here on out; she had to ensure there were no more unanticipated setbacks.

Alicia and Nick stood on the porch, and Madison knew she was the topic of their conversation without hearing a single word. Their family dynamic had been fucked even before the end of the world; the sudden single-minded focus on survival had not done much to bring them closer. It didn’t matter how mad they got at her - she would do anything in her power to keep them safe, keep them alive. She had made a promise to herself months ago, she would do whatever it takes.

Settled on a course of action, Madison hung back as everyone headed inside, gesturing to Daniel to join her. He had stayed silent after she was overruled, and she had the suspicion he was not entirely pleased with the decision to surrender their town. Running was not his style.

“Daniel, I need you to do something for me.”

 

\--

 

The meeting the night prior may have seemed to go off without a hitch, but Nick knew his mother too well to really believe she had changed her mind. Still, he hadn’t been able to figure out her ulterior motive yet. It was enough to know she had one, though; he could proceed with caution until his Madison showed her true colors.

It was dawn, and had it been any other day, it would have been too early to be up. The potential for imminent danger had cut into Nick’s ability to get a solid eight hours. Besides, he had made important plans the night before.

Charlie had somehow managed to convince John to not only approve of shooting lessons, but for her to learn using one of the ornate Colt .45s he carried. John had passed on joining them; even though he knew being able to handle a weapon was a necessary evil nowadays, he had promised himself to only fire a gun when he absolutely had to.

Instead, it fell to Troy to teach the girl. Nick had accompanied them to the small shooting range on the outskirts of the little town. Bales of hay had been strategically placed around, a variety of empty cans and bottles collected to use as targets. Troy had suggested using ‘live’ targets at first, an idea that was instantly vetoed by the rest of the group.

“Hold it with two hands, you need to be able to keep it steady.”

The girl was a quick learner, following every instruction Troy offered up. He didn’t treat her like a child – it occurred to Nick that maybe Troy had no point of reference for how to treat a child – which pleased Charlie to no end.

They had gone over gun safety first, Nick made sure of that. By the time Charlie had fired her first shot, he felt reasonably secure that she wasn’t going to shoot her own hand off. Her aim wasn’t great, as to be expected for a small child on their first day with a gun, but she wasn’t afraid of it, at least.

Troy seemed to be in slightly better spirits that morning than the day before. Nick knew his mother had gotten under his skin, and he was more than familiar with the feeling. He was grateful for Alicia taking the lead on this front, simply because Nick didn’t think he had the energy to deal with Madison’s bullshit for very much longer. He had been dying to get away from her for years before the apocalypse, the thought of overdosing in an abandoned building preferable to sleeping under the same roof as her.

“Don’t let her get to you,” Nick said. Charlie had ear guards on, but Nick kept his voice low just in case.

“She’s okay, I think she’d do better with a lighter gun,” Troy responded.

“Not her, I meant my mom. Don’t let her get to you. She knows how to twist it in.”

“Well, lucky me, I’m already familiar with maternal disappointment,” Troy said lightly, obviously attempting humor.

Nick laughed genuinely. “Believe me, you’re better off without her looming over you.”

“All kidding aside, though – you guys have been more of a family to me than my real family, and I owe that to Madison, no matter how angry we might be at her now.”

 _Mad at her_ now _?_ Nick thought. Did Troy think this was some kind of passing feud with Madison? That he was ever more than a pawn to her? He had to know she was manipulating him. There was no point in telling him if he didn’t, but Nick found it a little sad. That someone could be so desperate for motherly love that they would settle for Madison Clark’s brand of toxic exploitation.

Troy had gone back to Charlie, helping her put some targets closer to her to give her a better shot, literally. She was smiling and having the time of her life, and he envied her that ignorant bliss. Right now, back in the town, people were frantically packing up their lives, hoping they could be out of there before an imminent attack. Even if Maria Lu and her army of thugs didn’t want the actual town, they had to make a show of force against their current ruler. In short, they couldn’t let Madison live.

That made going any farther by her side even more problematic. And then, even if they escaped, even if they found a place to settle down where no one knew them, how long would it be until Madison pisses someone else off, or someone pisses her off?

He trusted that his sister would come up with a plan; she was going to feel out Daniel on it as well. If he was on board, they might find a way to be able to lose her sooner. Either way, there was no world where he envisioned himself living under the thumb of Madison Clark in six months.

With Charlie set up for her second round of firing practice, Troy came back over to Nick. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m just thinking of how weird it’s going to be on the road again, until we find a place to settle down.”

“The road’s not so bad,” he responded. “Might be a good thing to get you back in fighting shape.” He teased, punching him in the arm.

“Don’t you ever get sick of this life, man?” Nick said, exasperated.

“What’s to get sick of? The world is my oyster, Nicky. I’ve got friends and family, and I have an occupation that I excel at.” He was grinning broadly, and Nick knew he was being genuine. Of course, he would love it all; he had not been made for the old world, back then he was a victim, or a monster. In this new world, Troy was an asset.

Until the person using him got tired of trying to control him. Nick had sometimes wondered, in the depths of his addiction, if his mother would rather him be dead than out of her control. He was fairly certain he knew the answer. 

“Troy! Nick!” Charlie called, interrupting the conversation as she ran over. “Look, I got three of them!”

She had, in fact, hit three of the targets. Two of them were very large boards, but the last was a gallon size plastic jug of sand she had burst. Troy gave her a high-five, and Nick applauded as she took a small bow.    

“I’ve gotta help Daniel with something, I’ll meet back up with you guys for lunch. No shooting while I’m not around, Charlie. Promise me.”

“I promise,” she huffed, clearly annoyed.

“You too, you’re probably worse than she is right now.”

“Hilarious.” Nick knew he was joking, but his worries about the future had started to come crashing down on him. He knew, though, no matter where they went, as long as Madison was with them, there was going to be trouble. His face must have registered his distress.

“She’ll come around. Trust me. She’s just stressed, and who wouldn’t be in her situation,” Troy consoled him, knowing Nick well enough by then to figure out what was weighing on him.

He knew Nick well enough, how in the world he had not picked up on Madison’s duplicity by then was beyond him. Troy said he was used to maternal disappointment; he wondered how much he would endure before he had another of his murder-tantrums. The Trimbols, leading the horde to the ranch, and, most recently, Walker… Could Troy snap one day, sick of her mistreatment, and kill her? Would Nick be able to talk him down again? Could he stop him?

More importantly… Would he even try to stop him?

 

\--

 

Alicia had stayed up late packing up the infirmary, but there was still plenty to go, so she was up with the sun like everyone else that day. If they had the luxury of time, she would have organized everything, had a checklist, labeled the boxes clearly for when they would need them again. This wasn’t a typical move, though, not by a long shot.

They were going to travel light, but certain things – weapons, medical supplies, food and water – were necessities. It would be stupid to leave them behind. Any extra space would be used to pack clothes, bedding, or things that could be used for trade.

Unfortunately, they could not bring any furniture, and no one was more bummed out about that fact than her. After claiming the master bedroom when Madison left, she had appreciated the pillow-top and high thread-count sheets. Her room in El Sereno hadn’t been as comfortable. She was going to miss that mattress.

Packing was also giving her some much-needed quiet time to try to come up with a way to get out from under her mother’s thumb. She and Nick could run. Troy would come, probably, although he had a weird attachment to her mother that psychoanalysts would have a field day with. Maybe John and Charlie would go with them? Nick had bonded with the girl in a short time.

She hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Daniel alone since yesterday; her mother had pulled him aside after the meeting last night. She really wanted him to come with them, and not just for his skills – they had gotten close in their time at La Reina, and she wanted to keep her family together, no matter what. The irony in how close that sentiment was to Madison’s a year ago was not lost on her.

The door creaked open, interrupting her train of thought. She glanced over her shoulder to see who had come in.

Speak of the devil.

“You don’t even have a weapon near you! What if I had been Maria Lu?” Madison berated her immediately upon entering. Good thing Alicia hadn’t packed the aspirin yet; she had a feeling she had a headache coming on.

“Morning, mom.”

“You need to be more careful. You need to be ready for what might be out there, and what _is_ out there.”

Alicia had not expected her mother’s personality to change simply due to their reversal of fortune, so she was not phased by the woman’s harsh tone. “I am,” she placated her mother, back still turned.

“Do you have a kit to keep handy, so we don’t have to root through boxes every time someone gets a papercut?”

“Yes.”

“How about the painkillers? Do you have an inventory? Have you been checking it regularly, just in case?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Madison’s voice softened on the last question, just a bit.

It made Alicia pause, unable to deny the small tug on her heart when she heard the change. Part of her would always be the little girl, working her butt off in school to please Madison. Every piece of art that hung on the fridge, every A+ she was presented with seemed to make her beam with pride. Then Nick had gotten into drugs, and her dad had died, and oh yeah, the world had been overrun with flesh-eating corpses. It had been a long time since she felt she was being seen by her family. She sometimes felt more like an accessory.

Willing forth the memory of her mother eviscerating Luciana, Alicia was able to keep from cracking. She turned, softening her own demeanor to match Madison’s. “Nothing besides the obvious.” Seeing the doubt on her mother’s face, she added, “Really.”

“I just worry so much about you and your brother. I didn’t ask for all of this,” she gestured back towards the town. “I was just trying to keep us safe the best way I knew how.”

“By taking over.” Alicia’s tone was amused, not accusatory, but it was not a flippant comment by any means.

“Can’t deny I’m good at it,” she chuckled. “Now holding onto things, that seems to be an issue.”

“Sometimes it’s better to let go.”

Madison only nodded. “That’s what we’re doing here, for sure. Letting go.”

And she was back. Alicia was right to not buy the mommy act. She did not, however, feel like engaging in battle with her mother this morning. Luckily for both of them, John Dorie happened to come in at that moment.

He had his hat in his hands, as he always did when he came inside. Alicia was amused at first by the old-school cowboy act, until she realized it was no act. She had been changing his bandages every morning and night. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything important.” She couldn’t help the tiny jab at her mother as she gathered up what she needed for John.

Madison moved toward the man as he unbuttoned his shirt. “Tell me again what happened at the bazaar?”

“There were some bad men, who wanted to do bad things to Laura-,” he started.

“Charlie.”

“Yes, well, at that point in time she was still Laura to me.”

“And you took out three men, on your own.”

“I am an excellent shot, ma’am.”

Madison snorted. “It seems very convenient, the timing of all of this.”

“Mom-,” Alicia tried to cut in.

“I’m not going to mince words. We’re going to be leaving here, this whole town. But that doesn’t include you or your girl. I’m not willing to take the risk that you’re not a spy for Maria Lu. You could lead them to us, wherever we end up.”

John’s face was white as a sheet, and Alicia was mortified. “Ma’am, I assure you-.”

“I don’t care. I want you both out of here before we leave. We’ll give you some supplies, but you’re going to drive due south, and not come back.”

Alicia was appalled. “Mom, Charlie is just a kid, I really don’t think she’s working for Maria.”

Her patience apparently worn too thin, Madison snapped. “You’re not in charge right now, Alicia – I am. You can play alpha all you want when I’m gone, but when I’m here, you _will_ listen to me. They’re lucky I didn’t shoot them on site when I came in.”

A chill ran down Alicia’s spine. _They_ were lucky she didn’t shoot _them_. Not just he. She would have shot Charlie? A child? Because of some delusion that everyone was out to get her?

Maybe it wasn’t a delusion, she had certainly made enough enemies along the way. That didn’t give her permission to go around killing anyone she suspected of being a threat. According to Troy, that had been her M.O. when they were out on the road. If a settlement put up too much of a fight, if it was a location they absolutely needed, they took over by force. She and Nick hadn’t asked for further details.

“I want you gone by noon. That’s five hours longer than I want to give you,” she glared at Alicia as if to punctuate her forced benevolence. Not wanting to stick around for further arguments, Madison turned on her heel and walked out.

Alicia stood quietly in front of John, supplies still in hand, a sad silence hanging between them. Without speaking, she changed his bandages; what even was there to say?

Finally breaking the silence, John exhaled, as if he had been holding his breath since Madison left.

“Your mother is a terrifying woman,” he said, voice low in case Madison was still around.

Alicia sighed. “You have no idea.”

 

\--

 

It wasn’t uncommon for Troy to work side-by-side with Daniel when he was home, but it was never entirely comfortable. The bond Daniel had formed with Nick and Alicia did not extend to him, and he understood why.

He wasn’t afraid of the man, nor did he feel as though he owed him an apology. They had both done things in their own best interest that hurt others, and no one could be faulted for that nowadays. It didn’t mean you forgave people easier, it just meant you’d put up with a lot more.

But everyone had a breaking point, and Troy had decided to try his damnedest to avoid pushing Daniel Salazar to his. He didn’t want to be in a situation where he’d have to take the old man out. It would hurt Nick and Alicia too much.

So the drive out to the gas station where they had massacred the Proctor’s was an uneventful one. Troy packed for the road the night before; his scant belongings fit in one bag. Daniel had asked him to go with him when they first woke up; he agreed, but only after shooting practice with Charlie. He didn’t want to disappoint her, or Nick.

It was still early, around eight a.m. when they got on the road. It was a two-hour drive, but they didn’t plan to stay there for very long. Their task was an easy but important one: right after they had taken over the bazaar, they had cleaned out the tunnel again and had stored a small number of weapons there. They were going to go grab them and make sure Maria Lu and her cronies hadn’t discovered the secret exit.

The coast was clear. They took every precaution when getting out of the truck, as always. There was not an infected in sight. Inside, he knew there would be scores of their rotting bodies, and he prepared himself for the smell. They loaded the guns first, digging them up from their shallow grave.

“We should just blow up the whole building,” he suggested. “So no one can use it.”

“We’re too close to the bazaar, someone will hear.” Daniel shot the idea down. Troy had to admit, the old man had a valid point

“It’s probably fine. I don’t think anyone’s been here. Do we really need to go in there to check?”

Daniel only stared in response.

Sighing loudly, Troy pulled his shirt collar up over his nose and mouth and headed into the abandoned building. The memory of he and Nick sitting side by side, raining bullets down onto a crowd of rotters, and a few who were still alive, brought a smile to his face underneath the fabric.

That smile faded fast upon hearing the familiar click of the safety being released from Daniel’s gun. He dropped his shirt and slowly raised his arms in surrender.

“You wouldn’t shoot a man in the back, would you?”

“Turn around,” Daniel growled in response.

“Is this for you, or did someone else put you up to it?” Troy asked, stalling for time. He really did not want to be shot in the head.

“Both.”

“So she got to you before Alicia did.”

Although there was no reply, there was also no bullet in his skull, and he took some small comfort in that. This wasn’t the first time Troy had a gun pulled on him. If he could keep Daniel talking, he could maybe get into position to gain the upper hand. Slowly, he looked over his shoulder, still not daring to turn around. The gun was still trained on him, but the man’s finger was not on the trigger at the moment.

Another good sign.

“What did she tell you? That I’m a rabid dog, and it’s time for me to be put down?”

“Something like that.”

“I did nothing that she had not asked me to do twenty times before- exactly what you’re doing right now.” He paused.

“Go on,” Daniel commanded. 

 _Okay_ , he thought. He had his attention. “There were a few camps along the way in west Texas that put up a fight. They didn’t mind being on the trade route, in most cases, but they had their own rules and didn’t want to live under Madison’s.

“She tried negotiating. She tried threats. Nothing got them to budge. We started to look for alternative routes, to avoid the area – there were none.”

Troy had started turning to face Daniel. It was a risk, but he wanted the man to see his face. He wanted him to believe he was telling the honest to god truth.

Because for once in his life, he was.

“Finally, one of the groups stood up for themselves. It doesn’t actually matter who fired the first shot since we had them outgunned four to one, but I want you to know that _I_ did it. I fired the first shot. Because she told me to. She told me to instigate them. She was tired of waiting them out, and that ultimately it would be for the greater good.

“That wasn’t the only time, but that was the worst one. From there on, it took fewer displays of violence to get people to fall in line. And Madison did not hold back in those displays that still needed to be doled out.”

He was fully facing Daniel now. The gun had not moved. Troy hadn’t expected it to. He didn’t expect to get out of this situation at all.

“None of that is meant to excuse what I’ve done, because it was my choice to obey her. You may think I enjoyed it, that I wanted to do it… It might sound crazy - crazi _er_ , I guess -  there’s so many dead around trying to eat us that killing people just… wasn’t necessary.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes at that, clearly confused about Troy’s motives. There was no need to draw it out any further, really – either he’d shoot him, or he wouldn’t.

“Since I’m assuming exile is off the table given my previous disregard for them, I’ve got a zero percent chance of leaving this garage alive. I don’t want to say I’m okay with that, because I’d really prefer not to die, but I’m not trying to convince you otherwise.

“I’m responsible for your daughter's death. She poisoned my men, and her people took over my land, and I don’t regret what I did.”

He flinched a bit on the last statement, expecting Daniel to pull the trigger. The gun was aimed lower now, at least. That gave Troy a bit of hope.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me or to spare me. I’m admitting what I’ve done because I respect you now, and you deserve to hear it. And you also need to know that if Madison has convinced you to do this, she’s already got you right where she wants you.”

Daniel chuckled. “You’re offering me advice before I kill you?”

“I know what you did, in your homeland. Nick told me. He also told me you had run to get away from it, to protect your family from that part of you. That you fought hard to keep that part of you hidden, and how sad you were that your daughter ever had to see it.”

This had been the longest conversation the two had ever had, and Troy was suddenly a little sad at that. He saw how Daniel treated Nick and Alicia; maybe it would have been nice to get to know him. It didn’t matter now, though.

“You’ve turned yourself around again, though; here. The kids in town love you, even the new girl won’t stop talking about you. Don’t let this set you back again. I’ve been living on borrowed time for years.” Troy now fully understood what ‘gallows humor’ was. “And before you go telling me to shove this up my ass, I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Nick and Alicia.”

At this, Daniel lowered the gun. “You think she’ll hurt them.” It wasn't a question.

“I think she’ll burn the world to the ground to keep them by her side,” he said.

The men stared at each other, unsure of what to do next. It was clear that Daniel believed what he was saying, at least.

“I can’t let you go,” Daniel said finally.

“I told you, I know that,” Troy responded. “I’m only going to ask you for a small favor.”

Intrigued, Daniel gestured for him to continue, almost impatiently. Troy figured it was time to stop drawing out his own death scene.  

“Just… can you not shoot me in the head?”

The request did not seem to make sense to the man, so Troy went on.

“You can kill me, I won’t put up a fight. But don’t hurt my brain. I want to turn.”

“You want to _turn_?” When Troy nodded, he went on, “You know the gunshot to the head is the quickest way…”

“I’m sure a man with your background can come up with a comparable alternative.”

Daniel took a deep breath, considering and apparently agreeing to the request. “Kneel,” he said. “If you try to fight me, it is only going to be more painful for you.”

“I understand,” Troy said, obeying his directions and closing his eyes. His heart was beating out of his chest, a strange mixture of terror and excitement coursing through his veins. He felt Daniel move to stand behind him, heard the snap from his belt as he unsheathed his knife.

“Tell them… tell them I went out fighting.” Warm teardrops had started to fall down his face as he felt Daniel’s hand on his shoulder.

There was a quick motion, he barely saw the movement out of the corner of his eye. There was a hot sting across the side of his neck, followed by a warmth that spread down his torso as the blood soaked the front of his shirt. He was lightheaded, and thought back to the night he got high with Nick, feeling much the same. And then... nothing. 

As Daniel promised, it was quick.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first off, I need to point out that I plotted out this S4 & S5 AU in a bitter rage - this story is the fanfic equivalent of a hatefuck. 
> 
> Next, I love Troy too, so this is absolutely not what I wanted for him (I have six other fics that go into those details). I am just adhering to what I can find of Dave Erickson's intentions for the characters. Troy was not supposed to die in S3, but he *probably* wasn't making it to the finale, either. 
> 
> I'm going back to weekly updates from here on out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill by now. Bad things are gonna happen.

_“Daniel, I need you to do something for me.”_

It hadn’t been difficult for Madison to convince the man to kill Troy for her. Most of what she told him was true; she only left out her own part in the violence. The last bit she added on was a complete fabrication, however.

“I’m- I’m afraid of him, Daniel.” Madison had feigned vulnerability. “He’s obsessed with me, with my family… I’m afraid if we ever disappoint him…” She had trailed off, eyes cast down. Lying wasn’t a problem for her, but she found it difficult to act weak. She hated weakness.

The implication had been clear to Daniel – Troy’s outbursts had body counts, his daughter being among the scores of victims the young man had left in his wake. Playing the Ofelia card would have been too easy, too obvious. Madison knew Daniel had turned to Lola when he thought Ofelia was dead; with both young women gone, he had quickly latched on to Alicia and Nick.

The fact that his motivations were in line with her own eased Madison’s mind. Much like herself, Daniel had nothing left to live for besides her children. He would do anything to keep them safe. Including, she had hoped, taking out a potential predator.

“Why me?” he had asked. “Why didn’t you take care of him out on the road?”

“I still needed him. And if I came home without him, Alicia and Nick would know it was me.” Again, the truth.

“They trust me more than you.”

“Exactly.” She laid out the plan, for he and Troy to go pickup the weapons cache they had left at the old garage. He could take him out there - bury him or leave him for the wolves, she honestly didn’t care which. Accidents happened, and a lot more frequently nowadays. If Daniel said some tragedy had befallen Troy while out on the road, who wouldn’t believe him?

And if they _didn’t_ believe him, Daniel had enough motive to kill Troy on his own that no one would even think to blame Madison.

It felt good to have plans falling into place for a change. She watched Troy and Daniel drive out of town earlier that morning, and had made her decision on getting rid of John Dorie and the kid. She had given them until noon, and that was mostly so they didn’t get too far ahead when she sent Daniel out after them. Spies or not, they knew about the little town, and it was too dangerous to let them be able to blab.

Walking along the main road of the town, Madison smiled and waved to the townsfolk she ran into. Everyone was busy packing, getting ready for the anticipated journey. Alicia had recommended leaving at night – they were in the middle of a terrible heat wave, and traveling when the sun was down would put less strain on the vehicles, and on the people they were carrying. Madison had agreed, especially since it gave her more time to carry out her own plan.

It was her suggestion to line the vehicles up on the outskirts of town. They had a watch on the mansion roof at all times now, so they would have a good half-hour head start to escape if they came under siege. With the cars lined up, and each resident assigned to a car, they’d be able to make sure no one got left behind. The reasoning was sound, and no one voiced any concerns, so Madison oversaw the project. The only vehicles not among them were the jeep Daniel had taken, the barely running truck that John and Charlie had crashed into town with,  and the SUV parked in the mansion garage. Madison had that one packed for a quick escape, in case she needed it for her family.

Needless to say, it had already been a busy morning for Madison.

The houses on the outskirts of town had not been inhabited yet, the residents instead choosing the nicer, larger houses closer to the big house on the other end. There had, of course, been an ulterior motive to her plans. Having all of the town’s vehicles in one spot made her next task a whole lot easier.

Standing by the first car in line, she glanced back at the mansion. She had checked the vantage point earlier; the little cottages were not very large, but they did block her, and the cars, from view of the rest of the town. With the rest of the group frantically scurrying around, no one would be down this way.

Madison may have publicly agreed to their plans, but she never had any intention of backing down from Maria Lu. No one in this town was going anywhere. They were strong enough to win this fight, even if she was the only one who could see it.

The doors to the cars were all unlocked, keys in the ignition – again, at her suggestion. Madison’s original plan had been to take the keys, but she knew from Nick’s adolescence that hot wiring a car wasn’t very difficult. Fortunately there were a lot of ways to make sure a car doesn’t start.

Since she would want these vehicles back in service at some point, cutting hoses and wires seemed too involved and too difficult to fix. The easiest way that suited her needs was to pop out a fuse or two. Sliding into the drivers side, she reached under the dash to find the hood release.

Her father had not done much good for her in the short time he was part of her life, but he had taught her a bit about cars. He had an old Camaro that he liked to work on in his spare time. Between being forced to fetch him beers, she had picked up on enough to know her way around under the hood.

Slipping out the fuses wasn’t hard, and Madison was careful to close the hoods quietly as she moved from vehicle to vehicle, pocketing each tiny piece of plastic and metal. The sun was beating down on her, making her regret putting on her leather jacket that morning. She was dripping sweat by the time she got to the last car.

Head under the hood, she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching.

“Car trouble, ma’am?” a man’s voice said, startling her.

 _God damn it_.

Keeping her cool, she stood up, popping out from under the hood to see who had interrupted her. He was dressed in army drab – one of the town militia. Troy had insisted on them wearing uniforms when they patrolled. If she never saw a scrap of camouflage again in her life, it would be too soon.

The man was also armed with one of the nasty looking automatics the cartel had left behind. Her brain scrambled for the guy’s name. “Peter, right? You know, I thought I heard this one running a little rough this morning. Thought maybe it was the spark plugs, but…” She splayed her hands out in a gesture of defeat.

He smiled in response. “I’m pretty good with cars myself, if you need a second look.”

“That’d be great.”

He leaned his gun against the front tire as he walked to the front of the vehicle. Madison stood next to him as he bent forward.

“Weird, it looks like a fuse is mi-”

Before he could finish, Madison slammed the hood down as hard as she could. The man’s head made a dull _thunk_ when it hit the engine block. It probably wasn’t hard enough to kill him, she knew, but his body went limp, so he was at least dazed, if not fully unconscious.

Opening the lid carefully, Madison held her knife at the ready. The man – Peter, she applauded herself for remembering his name correctly – was out cold. Grabbing him by the collar, she heaved him onto the ground. There was a groan when he hit the dirt, but no further movement. He had landed on his back, and Madison could see the gruesome damage she had done to his face.

 _Damn it_ , she thought. _He’s getting blood_ everywhere. She’d have to do this somewhere else. There was going to be a lot more blood in a minute.

Hauling him by his boots, Madison dragged his body into the closest cottage, kicking the door closed behind her. There had been a few small sounds of protest, although Madison didn’t hear anything intelligible. Considering the angle Peter’s jaw was currently hanging at, she doubted he’d be able to say much even if he tried.

No need to drag this out any longer. She was killing out of necessity, after all, not for enjoyment, like Troy. Madison only killed to keep her family safe, and she would never apologize for it. She’d do it all again if she had to.

Kneeling next to the man, she saw his eyes go wide beneath the mask of blood covering his face as he saw her hold her knife above him. “Sorry, Peter,” she said, trying to sound like she actually meant it, driving it down through his skull.

Wiping her blade on his shirt, she put it back in it’s sheath and stood up. A small clay pot on a shelf nearby caught her eye. As good a hiding place as any, she figured. Peter would have to be taken care of at some point, anyway.  Fishing the fuses out of her pocket, Madison dropped them into the little container and put it back up onto it shelf before heading back outside. Kicking at the sandy dirt, she buried the blood droplets that Peter had sprayed when he fell.  

It would be evening by the time anyone realized the cars wouldn’t start. There would be confusion, then panic. _Who could have done such a thing?_ People would whisper. It wouldn’t be difficult to pin the blame on the two newcomers – she had already implanted the doubt that they were spies. And now where were they? _Gone_! Madison’s instincts were right, once again.

The thought brought a smile to her face as she peeled off her leather jacket, finally yielding to the hot desert air. Slinging it over her shoulder, she made her way back to the big house. Now all that she had left to do was wait.

\--

 

The heat was borderline unbearable in the tin shed as Nick attempted to pack up his tools, reminding him of the time he had spent in the hot box back at the ranch. He couldn’t take everything, and trying to choose the things they may need or that could be hard to come by again was proving more daunting than he anticipated.

Or maybe he was just putting off the inevitable.

He knew that leaving was the right call - that if they stayed they risked losing lives, and nothing was worth that sacrifice. It didn’t make it sting any less, to lose their home and be forced back out into the wasteland. Nick wasn’t worried about being able to slip back into survival mode; he was more concerned he’d never be able to snap back out of it again. The thought of turning into something like his mother terrified him.

A tapping sound on the metal wall pulled his attention away from the messy workbench.

“Excuse me, Nick?” John Dorie was standing in the doorway. “Do you have a minute?”

“Sure, let me come out there. It’s an oven in here.”

“It’s not much better out here, I promise you.”

Nick laughed at that. John was a subtle man, but he was also fairly entertaining. “What’s up?”

“Have you… spoken with your mother this morning?”

“Thankfully, no.”

John grimaced. “She has uh, requested that Charlie and I leave on our own.”

Heaving an exasperated sigh, Nick asked John for the full details. Madison never ceased to amaze him in finding new and creative ways to control he and Alicia’s life. Getting rid of their friends was one she had started doing back in grade school. The minute he or Alicia palled around with someone Madison didn’t approve of, she found a way to break them up.

He was glad that Madison had granted them a few hours to pack and say their good-byes. As with every time Madison did something uncharacteristically kind, or at this point, anything remotely human, Nick’s spider senses started to tingle. It just didn’t seem to make sense to him.

Then again, it’s not like she would have just murdered them. No, she needed Troy to do her dirty work, and there was no way Troy would even consider hurting Charlie and John. He hoped she had not fallen that far down the rabbit hole yet. Regardless, he didn’t plan on hanging around her until she did.  

“I’m so sorry, John. You know we didn’t have anything to do with it.”

The man nodded, the brim of his black hat dipping as he did. Nick had been using it to block the sun from his eyes and was temporarily blinded by the movement.

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to Lau-Charlie yet. Have you seen her?”

“Ransacking the town for more bottles to use for target practice. I told her we might not have time to shoot again before we left, but Troy promised her.”

John hesitated. He had not loved the idea of Charlie picking up a gun, Nick knew that. He was against it, too, but it would be better if she could handle one, especially not knowing what dangers lay ahead of them. And now, with only John to look out for her, it would matter even more.

“Is that boy alright?” John asked, touching his finger to his forehead. Nick knew what he was asking.

“Honestly, not even close. He was pretty fu- sorry, screwed up from the start, and it seems like my mother has broken him.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, and forgive me if I am overstepping my boundaries… It just seems you and Alicia both have the same feelings towards her. Have you ever considered… Leaving her?”

“I’ve left more times than I can count,” Nick snorted.

“Then once more shouldn’t be a problem.”

He looked into John’s face. The comment was not meant sarcastically, it was an encouragement. There was no way this guy was a spy. No one could fake this kind of naïve earnestness. He didn’t know if Alicia had talked to Daniel before he left, but it couldn’t hurt to have more people on their side, could it?

“We’re actually planning on it. After we find a place to settle down. We’ll leave, and she will come after us like she always does. The townsfolk can survive without our help, we’ll leave them everything they need, but at least they will be safe from both Maria Lu and my mother. Everyone will be.”

“Do you know where you will go?”

Nick shook his head. “Somewhere without a lot of people. We’ll need to not be seen by anyone, make sure my mom doesn’t have any way of finding us.”

An odd sadness fell over Nick as he imagined his mother frantically searching for them. Underneath everything, all of the violence, he did still love his mother. He didn’t relish the thought of hurting her, even though he realized that was essentially all he had done since he turned fourteen.

“Madison has told us to drive south, so I intend to do so to start. Our ultimate destination is north and east, though,” John went on, his drawl making every word sound casual, despite their importance. “I have a little cabin in central Texas. It’s well-hidden; I lived there for years without anyone stumbling onto my property. I’m gonna take Charlie there.”

 _At least they had a place to run to,_ Nick thought to himself.

“You’d be welcome there, too.”

Nick was flabbergasted by the offer. “You barely know us.”

“I know you helped Charlie and I when you could have left us to die. You and your sister took us into your own home, and made us feel as if it were our own, even for a brief time. If I can do the same for you and yours, I will...

“…plus I think Charlie would give your mother a run for her money in trying to hunt you guys down.”

That lightened the mood a bit. “It’s not just Alicia and I, Troy and Daniel will be with us.” He still wasn’t 100% sure Daniel was going to join them, but it’d be better to show up short one person than one person more.

“It’s a small place, but it’ll do for a short time. I built it myself. I figure given your talents, you’d be able to help me expand the floor plan, as it were,” John said, gesturing to the tool shed behind Nick.

Nick imagined that world. He imagined working side by side with John, building their own home. Reading with Charlie. More dance parties with Daniel. Going on runs with Troy. Spending quality time with Alicia. All without his mother breathing down his neck.

It sounded wonderful.

“I’ll have to talk to Alicia,” Nick said.

“I understand. Since me and the kiddo have to skedaddle in a bit,” John smiled and plucked a folded up piece of paper from his shirt pocket, “I wrote down everything you need to know to find the place.”

Nick narrowed his eyes and John shrugged sheepishly. “I was going to tell you about it anyways, I figured you might have grown as attached to Charlie as she is to you all. Leaving you behind is not going to be easy.”

“She’s lost a lot already,” Nick agreed. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

John thrust his hand out for a handshake as if to seal the deal, nearly crushing Nick’s hand in his over-enthusiastic grip. “Go. Get your people somewhere safe. We’ll be there waiting for ya.”

“Looking forward to it,” Nick answered. And he really, really was.

“That is if I ever find Charlie again. That girl’s gonna be the death of me,” John threw up his hands in mock exasperation.

He watched as the man walked off. Turning back to the shed, he went back to his previous task. If building a cabin was in his future, he better make sure he had everything he needed. Allowing himself to daydream while he packed, Nick couldn’t help his growing excitement at what was yet to come. He was going to build something, and his mother was not going to be able to take it away.

Nick promised himself he would never let her take anything from him ever again.

 

\--

 

Alicia was close to finishing in the infirmary, and fighting the incredible urge to crawl back into bed, when Nick came in. He was smiling, which was odd, because she knew John had gone to tell him of Madison’s banishment decree.  

“You’re in an unusually good mood this morning,” she greeted him as he bounded in the door.

“I think I’ve found the solution to our problem.”

“We’ve currently got a number of problems, Nick, you’re going to have to be more specific.” She handed her brother a roll of packing tape. “Work while you talk.”

As they closed up the boxes Alicia had packed, Nick told her all about John’s cabin. “He said we can expand it. Even if it’s just temporary, it’s as good a place as any to lay low.”

“And we just leave everyone else behind?” Alicia had been troubled by the thought. It was necessary for everybody’s safety, not just their own.   

“They’ll be fine. We’re not leaving them unarmed and helpless. Besides, there might be logistical problems with trying to sneak fifty people out from under mom’s nose,” he smirked, sarcastic as always.

She sighed. “I feel like we are disappointing them. I know we cant stay with her but… they are _our_ responsibility.”

“Alicia, you’re _nineteen_! You should be In college, going to parties, not the leader of an entire town,” Nick said, cheerfully. “You deserve some time to relax, too.”

The thought was appealing, she had to admit. Even though living in La Reina had felt like a vacation compared to the nightmare they escaped, Alicia had never gotten much of a chance to enjoy it. Between running the town, and playing doctor, her life had kept up at a near-hectic pace. How had she gone from high school student, to this?

He must have sensed what she was thinking. “Power was mom’s play. I didn’t sign up for this, either.”

Nodding, she knew it was the truth. Although she had accepted it, and was even very good at it, it wasn’t the road she had chosen for herself. She and Nick had both chosen paths away from her, before they were forced back in to each other’s lives by some sick twist of fate.

“We’ve both left before,” she mumbled.  

Nick slung his arm around Alicia’s shoulder. “Whenever we left before it was on our own. Maybe we’ll have better luck together.” He laughed, but she knew the sentiment was real.

He was right though. They’d have each other to rely on, no matter what – and to remind each other why they couldn’t go back. A year ago, she wouldn’t have trusted her brother alone with her wallet; now she trusted him with her life. She gave him a squeeze back.

“Maybe so.”

They settled into a comfortable silence as they stuffed the remaining boxes full, taping them up and moving them to the front to be loaded into the box truck they’d held onto. The cars would carry the people, and some food and weapons, with Nick and Troy driving the truck behind the caravan. The destination at the moment was simply “north”, based solely on which direction had the fewest number of people who wanted Madison’s head on a pike.

Alicia had looked at the maps herself, and scouted a few locations that might work, small towns cut off from major metropolitan areas, places less likely to have been picked over. If they could make it  a couple hundred miles away before dawn the next day, they’d have a good head start against Maria Lu, if they even decided to pursue them. The extreme heat may end up working to their benefit, she mused.

“I was gonna leave, you know.”

She looked up from the box she was currently sealing shut, knowing immediately what he was talking about. They hadn’t talked about much that had happened in the time before they moved to La Reina. So much had gone down in those first ninety days of the apocalypse, it was as if they had all unconsciously agreed to hit the reset button, and forget their more recent misdeeds.

“Why did you stay?”

“Do you remember what you said to me when I asked if you wanted to stay at the ranch?” She shook her head, and he continued. “You said it didn’t matter where we ended up, it was all just different circles of hell.”

The conversation came back to her. “Sometimes I exaggerate,” she said, wincing.

“Alicia, you had just been kidnapped, held hostage, gotten shot out of a helicopter and trapped in the desert with strangers, all while carrying my dying girlfriend,” he reminded her. “And when I talked to you, you seemed so… unphased by it. Like you had already accepted that nothing would get better.

"I couldn’t leave you like that, especially not alone with mom.”

As heartfelt as this conversation was, and as much as she loved her brother, she found herself wanting it to end immediately. The mere mention of Luciana had made her heart lurch.

“Sometimes I wonder though, how different things would be now if I had left that night...”

 _Well, for one thing, Luciana would probably not have died on the floor of a dirty horse stall_ , Alicia found herself thinking morosely.

Nick chuckled as he went on, oblivious to how uncomfortable Alicia was getting. “She’s probably better off without me, anyway. I bet she’s the leader of some other group out there.”

The lie was eating her up inside. She had chosen to betray Nick’s trust in order to keep Madison’s. A lump welled in her throat, and she felt her eyes start to sting with tears. She moved around the room as he spoke, avoiding eye contact as inconspicuously as she could.

Nick was happy now. It was too late to do anything, and they were leaving Madison behind soon anyway. No matter what logical rationalization her mind came to, her guts twisted in knots as he listened to her brother reminisce over the girlfriend his mother had gutted like a fish in front of her.

He was always the sensitive one in the family, despite the overconfident persona he sometimes slipped into. It was why drugs had been so alluring to him, she supposed, the ability to numb himself to a world he found overwhelming. In retrospect, she could feel bad for her brother, even if in the moment she may have hated him. This would destroy him. It was certainly destroying her.

“Maybe we’ll run into her someday.”

Alicia made the mistake of looking at her brother as he said it, and the wistful look in his eyes broke her heart. A sob caught in her throat as her tears finally spilled over. She turned away quickly to try to hide it, knowing she had failed.

“’Licia?” She felt his hand on her back. “Is this about Luciana?”

The world stood still for a moment, as Alicia replayed the words in her head. He _knew_? Had Madison told him? If so, what bastardized version of the truth did she present to him?

“She told you?” she gasped as she turned around, wiping her eyes with her back of her hand.

“Who told me what?” he replied, and Alicia immediately realized her mistake. Her face must have given her away. “I just meant, if you were feeling guilty that I stayed behind for you. _She_ told me what?” he repeated, emphasizing the first word to indicate he knew exactly who Alicia was referring to.

Her mind battled for a lie, anything she could offer up to explain her sudden breakdown. She was tired of it, though. She was tired of carrying her mother’s lies. They could leave all of their lies behind when they left this town, and make a fresh start on their own. Alicia hoped her brother would understand.

“I have to tell you something, and you may hate me for it.”

“’Leesh, you’re scaring me.”

Taking a deep breath, she told the story of what had happened at the bazaar, with no changes made to hide her own part in Luciana’s death. He would blame her, she knew it, because she blamed herself. The only part she skirted around were the more gruesome details of how it she met her end.

Nick was silent. She could see his face was wet, and she took a step towards him. He held up his palm to stop her. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“I was just trying to do what’s best for you.” It wasn’t a great answer but it was an honest answer.

“Why will no one allow me to figure out what’s best for myself?” he asked, throwing up his hands in frustration.

“Maybe because every time we left you alone, you immediately ran off and stuck a needle in your arm,” Alicia countered, immediately regretting the accusation, no matter how true it was.

“Once again, my drug addiction – former drug addiction, I’ll remind you – is being used as an excuse for people to do whatever the hell they damn well please.” He was on edge, she could tell; his tone had gone from playful to downright nasty. “Apparently even _murder_ is acceptable as long as it's in the name of my sobriety.”

Trying to calm him down, she reached out, considering it a good sign when he didn’t slap away the hand she laid on his shoulder. She didn’t want to fight with him. If he wanted to hate her, she wouldn’t deny him that. She needed him to understand though.

“You don’t have any idea what its like on the other side, Nick. Watching someone you love slowly killing themselves. It- it fucked us up a lot. It fucked _me_ up a lot.” Alicia couldn’t count the sleepless nights owed to worrying about Nick.

“And that justifies everyone’s insane need to control every facet of my life.”

“No Nick, I just need you to understand why I lied. I was afraid it would hurt you too much,” she said gently. Her hand slipped off his shoulder as he turned to face her.

“This hurts more. You know, I felt like this last year, you and I started to make up on a lot of time we lost when I was using. Now, I dunno. It’s like I don’t even know you.”

“Nick-,” she started, but he kept going, talking right over her.  

“I don’t even know if I can process Luci being dead yet,” his voice cracked on the last word. “It doesn’t feel real.”

“I’m sorry, Nick.” She grabbed for his hand, but he jerked it back.

“Leave me alone,” he said as he turned away. “I know that seems to be goddamned impossible for anyone to do, but just… leave me alone.” He walked towards the door, all of the exuberance he had when he came in now gone.

Alicia was crying freely now, no longer trying to contain her tears. “Please, Nick…”

“You’re just like her,” Nick said softly, barely looking over his shoulder as he left.   

 

\--

 

Daniel didn’t quite understand why he had agreed to Troy’s request. He had known the boy was sick in the head, so although it didn’t shock him that he asked, why he had decided to grant the man’s dying wish was not exactly clear. Maybe it was simply because he had the _cojones_ to ask. Maybe his acceptance of responsibility for Ofelia’s death had affected Daniel more than he’d like to admit.

And of course there had also been his words of warning, his concern for Alicia and Nick’s safety. Since the fall of the dam, Daniel had seen a change in Madison, there was no doubt about it. Still, he’d had no reason not to believe her words, her claims of how Troy frightened her. As if she was afraid of anything besides losing her children. His need for vengeance had blinded him to her true motives.

He did not feel guilt over Troy’s death. Madison may be a danger to her children, but Troy had proven time and again that he was as well. Someone should have taken him out long ago. Daniel’s issue wasn’t _what_ she had asked, it was that she manipulated him to do it to cover for her own crimes.

Of all of the mistakes he had made in his life, he was beginning to think that underestimating Madison Clark would be his biggest.

Daniel sped the whole way back to La Reina, trying to outrace the thoughts streaming through his mind. When he was within range, he clicked his radio to signal her – too many ears could be listening in – and headed the long way around, in order to park behind the small mountain the town butted up against. Ironically, Troy had actually been the one to find the blind spot; with the militia now decimated, Daniel doubted there was anyone patrolling.

He moved stealthily through the empty streets on the north side of the town, everyone still preparing for the days ahead in their own homes closer to the town center. They had planned on meeting at the warehouse where they had found the previous residents of the village, so they could get their stories straight on what happened. Or what they were going to tell everyone had happened. Now his motivations for the meeting were much, much different.

The empty building was a few blessed degrees cooler, so the minutes he had to wait for Madison were not unbearable. He had no plans of making any moves against her right now; he needed to see the extent of the truth in Troy’s allegations.   

“You’re late,” Madison greeted him as she entered.

“There was traffic.”

“Ha. It’s taken care of, though?” she insisted.

“Troy Otto is dead.” There was no need to give her any more information than that.

A disturbingly cheerful smile spread across Madison’s face, and she reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad I could give this to you, Daniel. I can’t imagine what it was like to lose Ofelia. You’ve got your peace now.”

Keeping his face impassive, he nodded in acknowledgment. Her statement was nonsense; amateur gaslighting at best. It was how she controlled Nick, and to a lesser extent, Alicia. Daniel was not going to fall for it. He needed Madison to believe he had, though.

Clearing her throat, Madison changed the subject. “We have another problem. I caught John snooping through the office this morning.”

 _Like hell you did_ , Daniel thought.

“I didn’t confront him then, in case he got violent, but I told him he and the kid had until noon to get out.”

“It’s noon now.”

“And yet.”

Daniel was confused. He couldn’t exactly walk into town and usher them out at the moment. People might notice he had come back from his mission alone. “I’m not really _here_ right now, though.”

She smirked. “I can take care of making them leave. Believe me.”  

“I do.”

“What I need from you is to make sure they don’t come back.”

“Why does that matter when we are leaving?”

Her mouth twitched the tiniest bit. The movement would have been imperceptible, but Daniel was an expert at reading faces. He could read someone until he knew them better than they knew themselves.  There was something she was not telling him.

She recovered quickly, no doubt thinking he had not noticed her momentary panic. “They could circle back. Track us for Maria Lu.”

Again, Daniel only nodded in response.

“Great. Head back to the jeep and wait for my signal,” she began to walk away, turning around before she opened the door.

“You understand what I mean when I say ‘make sure they don’t come back’.”

 “I assume you do not mean through diplomacy,” he said glibly.

She found that amusing. “Diplomacy is not my style, Daniel. You said it first – I am _la Reina_.”

That statement hit him like a punch to the gut. He had started the nickname to unify the town, to rally them behind her so they could overthrow the Proctors. It seemed she had started to take the title quite literally. Daniel wished he had never uttered the words.

“To be clear - Kill them.”

On those words, she left. She said it so coolly, as if she was asking him to pick up milk from the store, and not murder a man and child who had done nothing wrong, save have the misfortune to have stepped in between Madison Clark and her children. Was she really so far gone that she thinks he would kill a little girl?

Thinking about it, why would she think he wouldn’t. She had been gone most of the year, spending only days here or there in the town. During those visits, it was all business. Madison had not been around to recognize any change in him. The man she knew was an assassin, a killer.

Why would she have expected him to have gone soft, when she herself had only grown more barbarous?

She had not been around to see him reading to the other kids in town, teaching them songs he had taught his own daughter so many years ago. She hadn’t seen him twirling Charlie around in his arms, dancing wildly with her. Madison didn’t know that man at all. Madison didn’t _need_ that man – she needed the killer - but that was the man he intended to be.  

Like the thug who had first put a gun in his hands so many years ago, Madison was asking him to kill with the implicit threat that if he didn’t, he would pay for it. Her threats were idle now, though – without Troy, Daniel would now be her only option for when she needed a body to fall. Let Madison keep thinking she had the upper hand; she was already starting to make mistakes, it wouldn’t be long until other people started recognizing her madness.

He would follow the duo out of town, if only to ensure their safety… and say goodbye to Charlie. Sitting down on the stairs, Daniel enjoyed the cooler temperatures for just another few moments before heading back out into the sun.

The quiet was broken by a loud popping sound, making Daniel’s ears ring as it echoed in the cavernous room. It was a familiar sound – he had heard plenty of gunfire in his lifetime. As it registered, so did the pain. Touching his hand to his abdomen, he tried to identify it’s source. Blood covered his fingers; glancing down, he saw the red spreading, turning his gray shirt black with it’s wetness.

His head was throbbing – every beat of his heart thudding louder and louder in his head as it slowed. It was nothing compared to the pain in his chest, but it was making it more difficult for him to think. He had been shot, he knew that. Madison had been there and left and then someone shot him. It didn’t make sense. Forcing his head up, he looked away from what was undoubtedly a fatal wound, scanning the room for his killer.

The blood loss was starting to affect his mind, and his vision was dim, but he instantly recognized the small frame standing before him. She gripped the gun tight in both hands, arms outstretched in front of her. Tears ran down her freckled face, and he called to her weakly as she turned and ran.

“Charlie?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: No one is making you read this.

The vodka wasn’t what Nick really wanted, but he wasn’t going to go down that other road. He gagged on the first swig, having nothing to mix it with or chase it down. That wouldn’t last for long.

Luciana was dead. Madison had killed her. Alicia had lied to cover it up. He wasn’t sure which emotion was currently winning in the battle for his attention: sadness, rage, or disappointment. He carved absent-mindedly into the expensive wooden desk with his knuckle knife.

When Alicia had told him Luciana was dead, it had not hit him like expected it to. Since the night she left, he had known that there was a very distinct possibility that she would get killed out there on her own. She could handle herself, but people were a lot more fucked-up nowadays. A group could overpower her, living or dead. There had been a certain amount of guilt he felt associated with that knowledge.

Because he had made the decision he had, to stay behind, Nick knew he had to accept it and move on, so that is what he had done. Maybe it was callous. The fact of the matter is that he had buried Luciana in his heart long ago.

As for his mother, nothing she did shocked him anymore. He believed Alicia when she said it was an accident; if Madison wanted to do it quietly, she wouldn’t have involved his sister. It didn’t change the fact that Luciana died by her hands.

Was it really just another unfortunate happenstance in a dangerous world? Or was it that Madison had a way of bringing misfortune down on everyone around her? With Luci there, Madison would have been afraid she’d be able to convince Nick to leave. Making her disappear was a permanent solution to that problem.

_“Where’s Celia?”_

Even with the Abigail plantation burning around them, he had suspected that if Celia was dead, his mother was the one responsible. He hadn’t wanted to believe it then, choosing to go off on his own rather than face the monster he knew his mother was becoming. When they had met up again, in the chaos of the depot, all was forgiven – the joy of being reunited had washed away the sins of the past. The same thing had happened after the dam.

It really was Alicia’s betrayal that was bothering him the most. Taking another pull off the bottle, he coughed at the burn in his throat. They had spent so much time together in the last year, it bothered him that she had kept something like this from him.

Madison was always trying to protect him, treating him like he was too fragile to handle the real world on his own. His father’s battle with depression and eventual suicide only made her cling tighter. Alicia had never done that; if anything, she had been tougher on him because of it.

He had once stolen a necklace Matt had given her and pawned it. She threatened to file a report with the police unless he got it back to her. Gloria had lent him the money, but he was lucky it was still there. Nick knew she meant what she said. 

The warmth from the alcohol was starting to spread through his body. It was helping to calm his mind, focus his thoughts. What was he supposed to do about any of this right now, anyway? They had to get out of La Reina. Until everyone was safe, he had to stick to the plan.

After that, though, Nick wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to abandon Alicia or go off on his own again. The dream of the little cabin in the woods had already taken root in his mind, and she was very much a part of that future he imagined. The bombshell she had dropped had just been too much for him to process at once.

He stabbed his knife into the desk. Standing up, he screwed the cap back on the bottle. Getting hammered wasn’t going to help anything. There was still a lot to do that day to get ready, and he needed to be clear-headed for that. What he needed to do was go talk to Alicia, no matter how hard it might be. He shouldn’t have walked out like that.

“Nick?” a small voice called from the hall.

Nick looked up to see Charlie standing in the doorway, gripping John’s gun tightly. She was crying hard; her face flushed and red, nose dripping. He rushed to her, gingerly taking the weapon from her hand. She allowed him to.

“Daniel… I shot… I shot Daniel…”

His mind reeled. “What? Charlie what do you mean?”

She broke into sobs again, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back, confused. “Was it an accident? Charlie? Is he… We need to go find Alicia and help him.” He pushed back gently on the girl’s shoulders, disengaging from her and stepping away. Time was of the essence, and they needed to get to Daniel quickly.

“No!” Charlie shouted, grabbing his arm roughly. “It wasn’t an accident.”

Charlie told him what she had overheard, difficult to interpret through hitching sobs, but Nick had gotten the gist. Those same three emotions he had just gotten over came roaring back with a vengeance – sadness, rage, and betrayal.

It had to be some kind of misunderstanding. Charlie must have gotten confused by what she heard. Daniel would never hurt Troy, or John, and especially not Charlie. But why was Daniel back in town alone? Where’s Troy?

_“Where’s Celia?”_

His stomach dropped.

“Go find Alicia,” Nick said, staring at the gun in his hand. He hadn’t noticed that morning how much it looked like the gun Jeremiah had given him. He flipped out the cylinder to see if it was still loaded. Only one round was missing. “Tell her everything you told me.” Grabbing her by her shoulders, he looked her in the eyes and added, “Avoid my mother at all costs.”

He pulled her in for another quick hug before she ran back down the hallway the way she had come. Confronting Madison was out of the question, and odds were, given the way Charlie was carrying on, Daniel was _muerte_. There was only one other way to be sure. He ran downstairs to the garage.

It was just after noon. He could make it to the old gas station and back before they were set to leave. There wasn’t much else he had to do anyway; he had only planned on making sure everyone else had their effects in order until it was go-time. Now, it was much more critical for him to know just how dangerous Madison was.

Alicia could handle whatever happened with Daniel on her own - she would want to know the truth, too. Any remaining anger he had with his sister from her earlier confession had disappeared.

The keys to the Escalade were in the ignition, as always. It was packed with boxes of supplies, only the front seats empty. He opened the garage door manually, peeking his head out to make sure the front was clear. Seeing it was, he climbed in and started the engine. As he pulled out into the driveway, he saw the iron gate was still shut. 

“Fuck it,” he said, slamming his foot on the gas and barreling down the small hill. The gates flew open as he crashed the sturdy vehicle through them. The former owner of these trucks had spent a lot of money making sure they were indestructible. Nick was glad he finally got to test them out. 

Rounding the first corner, he sped out of town, watching it grow smaller in his rearview mirror. If it turned out that what Charlie had said was true, something was going to have to be done about his mother. Eying John’s gun on the seat beside him, he wondered if he’d have the strength to handle it himself.

 

\--

 

Alicia still hadn’t left the infirmary all day. She had finished packing, still crying from her fight with Nick, but she hadn’t wanted to go back to the big house. He needed his space. Instead, she had stretched out on one of the cots they were leaving behind and tried to nap. She had not been successful.

There was a quiet knock at the door. “Come in,” she called, wiping the residual tears from her face as she sat up.

One of the men from the town militia stuck his head in. “Hey, have you seen Pete? He was supposed to be back from patrol by now.”

“No, I haven’t.” She frowned. That wasn’t a good sign.

“I’m sure he’s just helping move some boxes or something. I’ll track him down.”

“Let me know either way,” she said.

He nodded an affirmative and left. Stretching, Alicia abandoned the idea of getting any sleep before they got on the road that night. She was too wired already.

She hadn’t intended to tell Nick about Luciana, and definitely would not have chosen today of all days to do it if she had, but it had happened nonetheless. There was no taking it back. Although she felt lighter having the truth out in the open, her heart was still heavy over the pain she had caused her brother. Alicia hoped he would forgive her someday.

Her stomach was growling, as she hadn’t had a chance to eat all day. There was a granola bar somewhere in her bag, and she dug her hand around the bottom for it. The front door opened and closed again.

“That was quick,” she said, head down, still searching for her snack.

When there was no response, she looked up.

“Charlie, what in the world?”

“Ni-Nick told me to come tell you. I shot Daniel.” The little girl went on. “He killed Troy. He was going to kill me and John.”

“What do you mean, he was going to kill you?”

Charlie told Alicia how she had overheard her mother and Daniel talking when she was looking for empty bottles in the warehouse, how Madison had ordered him to follow them out of town and kill them. Although she couldn’t believe Daniel was capable of such a thing anymore, Alicia had no qualms accepting Madison’s part in the story.

She sat Charlie down on a chair and poured her a glass of water. As the child calmed down, Alicia found herself forced to ask a difficult question.

“Charlie, did you shoot him in the head?” she asked softly. The girl’s eyes widened, threatening to spill over with tears again as she realized her mistake. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of it.”

Going to her bag, she reached inside and felt for her balisong. She slid it into her pocket before Charlie could see. “You find John. If you see my mother, hide.”

“Nick said that, too.”

“Where is he?”

She shook her head. “He was in the office when I left.”

Maybe he was taking care of Daniel himself. She had to go make sure, anyway, even if he already had. Heading outside, she glanced up the street towards the mansion, looking for her brother. The iron gates were open, which she thought was only a little strange until she realized they were hanging off their hinges at an odd angle.

Her brother must have gone to see if it was true, if their mother had really sanctioned a hit on his friend. Alicia didn’t need proof. Madison’s track record was more than enough to condemn her without it. She moved purposefully towards the warehouse, keeping her head low to avoid having to talk to anyone.

There was no window outside, no way to see in, so Alicia’s only choice was to open the door and hope no one – or nothing – was standing behind it ready to attack. Flicking open her knife, she readied herself before yanking it open. The coast was clear.

It was quiet inside, and her eyes took a second to adjust to the dimness as she entered. Daniel was laying on the floor, on his back, eyes on the ceiling. A pool of blood had spread out around him. He had not yet turned, but she knew by the size of the puddle that he was gone. She moved in carefully, just in case.

Her pant legs were soaked in blood as she knelt down next to him. It was unavoidable in order for her to get close enough to do what needed to be done. She didn’t know what had happened, whether Daniel had done or intended to do everything Charlie had overheard. He had become a guardian and mentor to them these past months, to think he would suddenly do such an about-face smacked of her mother’s treachery.

“I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m sorry you ever met us,” Alicia whispered. Turning his head carefully, she drove the blade into the base of his skull, as she had done many, many times before. She didn’t bother wiping it clean before she left. From the knees down she was red with blood, her hands smeared as well. As she stalked the streets of La Reina, she felt briefly like _Carrie_ in the finale of the movie.

She needed to find her mother. It was time someone put her in her place.

 

\--

 

The gunshot had made her jump a little, but the sound was mostly muffled by the thick cinder block walls of the warehouse. No one else would have even heard it. She felt no compulsion to go back and check what had happened. Either Daniel had killed himself, or someone else; either way, it would fit into the ‘Daniel is losing his mind again’ narrative she was going to have to set in motion.

She believed him when he told her Troy was dead. He had not been as convincing on his pledge to take care of the two newcomers. Madison knew asking him to kill the kid was going to be a tough sell – it was more his response she was looking for. Not that she cared either way if the pair lived or died, so long as she never saw them again. Troy had killed for her without question. If Daniel was going to fill that void by her side, she needed him to do the same.

As much as it irritated her to lose another asset, she couldn’t have anyone threatening her control, either. The town still saw her as their fearless leader, beleaguered with a string of bad luck, who was doing her best to turn it all around. She needed to keep up that pretense for as long as possible.

The hot air was thick with the smell of barbecue. With most everything packed up, they were eating community style in the street in front of what had been a small taqueria. Her stomach rumbled, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had actually eaten. Greeting the handful of people who were milling around, she filled herself up a plate and sat at an empty table.

Others filled in while she ate; the smell of food cooking had drawn them out like hungry wolves. There was chatter filling the air, a constant low hum, mostly full of tension, punctuated with the occasional peal of hopeful laughter. As Madison finished her meal, the chatter started to die out rapidly, as if it a wave of silence was coming toward her.

 “Alicia?” she said, looking up. The girl was walking down the street, blood covering her hands and the bottom third of her pants. “Alicia, what happened?”

Madison stood and walked around to the front of her table as her daughter approached. She did not reach out for Alicia when she paused in front of her; the look in the girl’s eyes told her that would be a dangerous move.

“Daniel is dead,” she said, loud enough for the gathering crowd to hear.

“What happened?” Madison forced herself to sound shocked, needing to know what Alicia knew before she commented further.

Alicia’s face remained placid, her voice firm. “Charlie shot him when she heard you give him the order to kill her and John.”

As Alicia spoke, Madison noticed her knife was still open in her hand. Her eyes landed on John and Charlie, who had just walked up. The little girl’s face was puffy from crying, and she refused to come out from behind John, clinging tightly to his waist where he stood.

The brat must have been in the warehouse when she met with Daniel. Why was she snooping around there in the first place? Madison thought through her options; she’d find a way out of this. Moving to pull Alicia aside, she stalled for time. “We should talk in private.”

“Nick’s gone.”

The words hit her like a shotgun blast, a pain radiating from her chest that made it hard to breathe. Alicia’s mouth twisted in a wicked sneer, freezing her in place. She had never seen her daughter look like that before. She looked… dangerous.

The sneer was bordering on a smile now, as Alicia was no doubt getting some enjoyment out of tearing her mother down in public. “And he knows. He knows _everything_.”

She didn’t know how much that everything encompassed - she assumed it at least covered Luciana’s unfortunate demise. That, combined with this Daniel fiasco, was damning enough, and she knew there was so much more she had done that could possibly upset her son. Nick was not equipped to deal with this level of pressure in life.

“We have to catch up with him,” Madison said, retaining as much authority as she could while surrounded by what amounted to an angry mob.

“We should let him go.”

“He took the Escalade, Alicia. It was packed. There were a hell of a lot of pills in there.” She didn’t have to elaborate further. Her daughter knew as well as she did that Nick would use this as an excuse to relapse, and quite possibly overdose. They had to save him from himself, once again.

Alicia stayed quiet, debating her options.

“Fine,” she acquiesced, heading off in the direction of the line of cars.

_Oh fuck_. Madison’s mouth dried up. Suppressing the rising level of panic she felt, she called out for her Alicia to stop. She had no idea what she was going to say next.

Every passing second, Nick got farther away, and she would be less likely to ever find him again. Alive, at least. He had taken the truck. Daniel’s jeep was a mile away. And none of the other cars were going to start. Madison had two options: she could have a sudden change of heart, tell Alicia she was right, and let Nick go off on his own, or she could admit to her own treason.

“The cars won’t start.” They would find out the truth eventually anyway. There was too much out in the open now. She didn’t care what any of these people thought of her, anyway. Let them think she was the villain. Her son’s life was in danger.

Turning back, Alicia threw her hands up. “You _sabotaged_ us,” she said, her disgust apparent.

Her mind scrambled for a way to be able to go get away from the crowd. Without the fuses, she couldn’t go after Nick, but there was no way she could risk them following her to where she had hidden them. They’d find Pete’s body and lock her up, and Nick would be gone forever. She was trapped, and it was a trap entirely of her own design.

 “You can take my truck.” John offered, making sure to address Alicia as he handed her his keys.

Alicia took them from him, glaring at her mother as she pocketed her knife. “Thank you, John.”

Madison grunted a small sound in appreciation, not enjoying eating crow by accepting the gesture. If it hadn’t been a life or death situation, she would have declined. Alicia stepped back toward her mother. Without breaking eye contact, her daughter tugged roughly at the buckle of the holster on her hips. Disarming her mother, Alicia fastened the belt around her own waist.

The crowd was silent at the exchange, fully understanding the significance. Madison was no longer their leader. Alicia shook her head sadly, pulling the sidearm from its leather sheath. “Were you always like this, and we just didn’t know?”

She didn’t have an answer for that; not one her daughter wanted to hear, at least. Alicia sighed and handed Madison the keys, gesturing with the gun for her to get moving.

“Let’s go.”

 

\--

 

If they hadn’t just gotten into a fight, Alicia would have fully believed that Nick was coming back. The combination of several bits of very bad news being divulged in a short time, combined with easy access to narcotics, however, made her nervous. Wasn’t this precisely what Nick had accused them of doing, though? Chasing after him, not trusting him to take care of himself?

She would make her apologies for that later if she had to. As it was, it seemed to her that finding out that their mother was responsible for the death of not only his girlfriend, and now probably his best friend, too, was enough to justify anyone falling off the wagon. Alicia had no plans of blaming him if he had chosen to escape reality. Hell, part of her felt like joining him.

Keeping the safety off the gun, Alicia held it loosely in her lap as her mother drove. There was no conversation between them. John’s truck began to shudder above 70 miles per hour, and the air conditioner was broken; she could feel her mother seething, the anger settling heavily in the arid air between them.

Although they didn’t know for sure, the assumption was that Nick was headed to the scene of Daniel’s alleged crime to see for himself. Madison may have believed he was running away for good, but Alicia knew he wouldn’t abandon everyone. He hadn’t left after her confession this morning. She was pretty sure he had only run off to double-check Charlie’s story. Why else would he have sent the girl to Alicia instead of going to Daniel first himself?

Getting close to the abandoned gas station, they spotted the black truck parked out front, and Madison sped up, the engine shaking with the effort. Pulling into the lot, they hurried out of the cab of the pickup towards the empty vehicle. The doors to the Escalade were all open, and the boxes had been torn through, their contents strewn around the dirt. Alicia felt a small pang of disappointment; she had hoped Nick was strong enough to avoid relapse.

Keeping the gun by her side, Alicia approached the rickety wooden structure behind the pumps, Madison following closely behind. The door creaked as it swung open, and she poked her head inside. “Nick?” she called softly.

“Hey, ‘Leesh.”

Nick was sitting on a row of bench seating that had been pulled out of some old jeep. He was twirling a pistol absentmindedly, and she could tell from the slur in his voice and the faraway look in his eyes that he was high. Before she could say anything, the stench of decomposing bodies hit her, making her eyes water. Her mother gagged beside her.

“Jesus, Nick. How can you stand this _smell_?” Madison chastised.

“You get used to it,” he shrugged, gun still spinning around his index finger.

“Put the gun down, Nick,” Alicia said calmly, walking over to him to take it.

A growl came from her right, and she jumped, whirling to see who or what had made the sound. That half of the garage was not as well lit, the only light being the sun streaming through the doorway, but Alicia could see the snarling body, pinned against the wall and reaching out hungrily from behind one of those massive red steel toolboxes. The front of his shirt was drenched in blood, the camouflage pattern barely visible.

_Oh, God._

“Wasn’t expecting _that_ ,” Nick said, giggling deliriously.

Madison didn’t hesitate, grabbing a hammer from a nearby bench, moving towards Troy’s reanimated corpse. She was within striking distance when Alicia heard the click of her brother pulling the hammer back on his pistol. Her mother must have heard it too, and stopped abruptly.

“Can you please stop killing my friends?”

Nick had the gun trained on Madison, still sitting on the makeshift couch on the floor. His voice sounded weak, and Alicia was worried he may have taken too much. It wouldn’t be the first time she had to shove her fingers down his throat.

“Luciana was an accident,” Madison responded, no apology evident in her tone.

Nick flicked the barrel of the gun in Troy’s direction. “Was _that_ an accident?”

“He needed to be put down, you don’t know what he-”

“And Celia?”

Madison fell quiet. Alicia looked to her mother, expecting some kind of denial or defense. She gave none. “Jesus, Mom. Anyone else?” she asked.

“Everything I did was to keep you both safe. Celia and Troy were dangerous.”

“And you get to make that call?” Nick challenged, his voice still unsteady.

“Yeah, I get to make that call, for your sister, for you-,” Madison replied angrily.

“Not for me!”

“It's the world we live in!” her mother argued, exasperated.

Nick scoffed. “You always lived in that world. Now it's okay for you to be who you really are.”

“Fuck you.”

Alicia didn’t know what came over her. Before she knew what she was doing, she had closed the distance between her and her mother, slapping her as hard as she could across the face. Madison reeled at the contact, her hand flying to her cheek. A thin line of blood trickled from her lip as she looked up. The look of bewilderment on her face would have made Alicia laugh at any other time.

Turning from her mother, she went to Nick, picking up one of the orange bottles scattered at his feet. It wasn’t empty, so she considered that a good sign. “How many did you take?”

“Not as many as I wanted to.”

“See? Anything goes wrong, you go right back to drugs,” Madison had recovered and joined them, hands on her hips.

“Maybe you should stop giving me reasons to relapse.”

“You’ve been trying to die since you were fourteen years old, and I’m the bad guy for keeping you alive.”

Listening to Nick and her mother bicker was not anything new to Alicia. She wanted to get back to La Reina as soon as possible, though, so she was going to have to cut this argument short if she could. Rolling her eyes, she waited for an opportunity to cut in. The thing that used to be Troy, was still snapping away in the corner. If Nick wanted to leave him like that, fine, but she hoped he knew they weren’t bringing him home as some kind of fucked-up pet.

The two of them were still going at each other, and Alicia was growing impatient waiting. She started to pace around the room, trying to impart some kind of sense of urgency in them. One of their boxes was open on a table in the front, obviously the box of medical supplies that had yielded Nick the pills he had taken. She went over to pack it back up; they couldn’t afford to leave valuable supplies behind.

As she picked up a wad of gauze that had been tossed aside, she froze, feeling the wetness against her fingers. Turning it over, she saw the red soaked through it. Slowly, she looked around, the room coming into hyperfocus.

The table in front of her was covered with bits of used gauze, a pile of the sterile packaging it came in crumpled up off to the side. There were small splatters of blood on the box itself, and Alicia saw a larger pool of it by her feet. A faint outline of bloody footprints led from the puddle to the spot her brother sat.

Moving closer to Troy, Alicia prayed she was wrong. Seeing the dark red smeared around his mouth and on his teeth dashed any hope of that. She moved deliberately back over to where her mother and Nick were still arguing, a heavy weight crushing down on top of her. 

“Take off your jacket, Nick,” she said softly, cutting off Madison’s next passive aggressive insult. Sitting down beside him, she pulled the front of his windbreaker open. Underneath, layers of bandages had been pressed to his side; from the look of it, they hadn’t been enough to control the bleeding. The cushion beneath him was soaked.

“Looks like you were right, mom,” he joked sadly.

“Oh god, Nick, no,” Madison gasped, rushing to kneel at his side.

“Sometimes painkillers are actually just for pain,” he said, turning his face up to Alicia. “I really wasn’t coming out here to get high. I didn’t even know they were in the truck.”

“I believe you,” she said, leaning in and pressing her forehead against his. Madison grabbed his hand. She looked about as devastated as any one person could be. For the first time in ages, Alicia saw a vulnerability in her mother’s face that hurt her soul.

She seemed to be searching for something to say, some words that could undo all of the heartbreak, all of the destruction she had been responsible for. Coming up with nothing, Madison settled for the obvious. “I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely, pressing his palm to her face as her tears fell.

Nick nodded, a somber smile on his lips. “I know,” he consoled her.

Alicia hugged him closer, burying her face in his neck as she sobbed. He patted her on the back with his free hand. “Don’t be sad, ‘Leesh. Maybe Celia was right. She said they’re not really dead, that it’s just what comes next,” Nick said. He paused, pulling back to look her in the eye. “I’d like to find out.”

His meaning was clear. “Nick, no...”

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” he quipped, his grin not hiding his pain. “I mean, it’s not like I’m walking out of here any other way.”

Madison said nothing, clinging to his arm as she wept. Nick glanced down at her, then back to Alicia. “Promise me.”

Alicia understood. She would do this one last thing for him. The lump in her throat was preventing her from speaking, so she only nodded in response. The request wasn’t really that shocking to her; she was sure seeing Troy in his current state had been some kind of inspiration, but since the dead had stopped staying dead, Nick had been comfortable walking among them. Of course the thought of being one of them would be alluring to him.

Nick coughed, wincing at the movement. His skin was pale and clammy, and Alicia could tell he didn’t have much longer. “You once told me to carve out whatever happiness I could from this life. I did that. I really was happy here.” His voice was barely there, his eyes closed.

“I was ready to die at the dam, but I’m glad… I’m glad I got to spend more time…”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Alicia felt his body go limp in her arms. “Nick. Nick, no. Please, Nick, come back.”

Madison gave an anguished cry, the sound of a wounded animal. Had her own heart not already been broken, the sound would have done it, no matter how much animosity she held against her mother. Alicia refused to loosen her grip on her brother’s body, knowing once she let go, she would never hold him again.

She felt her mother’s hand on her shoulder. “Alicia.”

Finally, she released him, turning to face her mother. They had thought they’d be prepared for this moment; between his disappearances and hospitalizations, they had gone through enough dry runs that the real thing should have been easier to handle. It wasn’t.

“Mom,” Alicia sobbed, falling into her mother’s arms. At that moment, she didn’t care about the town, she didn’t care about Maria Lu, she didn’t care about the hatred she had felt for her mother not ten minutes prior. None of that mattered right now – right now Alicia just needed her mom to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

“Shhh. Shhh, baby. I know,” Madison cooed soothing words through her own tears, her hand smoothing over Alicia’s hair, stroking her back in an effort to comfort her. As Alicia allowed herself to melt into the embrace, she felt a light tugging at the back pocket of her jeans, and she pushed herself away from Madison, who was now holding her butterfly knife. She stared at her mother in confusion.

“Alicia, we have to.”

It took Alicia a moment to collect her thoughts through her grief. When she realized what her mother’s intentions were, her mind went dark. “No,” she said.

“We can’t let him turn, honey. It’s not right,” Madison pleaded. She moved towards Nick, but Alicia blocked her. Her mother’s face clouded over with anger. “Move, Alicia.”

Alicia moved, although probably not how Madison had intended. She drew the gun from the holster at her side and leveled it at her mother. “Stay away from him.”

“It’s grotesque,” Madison argued. “He was high, delirious from shock.”

“You don’t get to make that decision for him. This is your fault, and I’m not going to let you hurt him again.”

Neither of them moved, locked in a standoff. It was clear that Madison did not intend to back down. Alicia didn’t either. Releasing the safety, she moved her finger to the trigger. Jake had taught her, back at the ranch, you never put your finger on the trigger unless you were ready to fire.

She was ready.

“Get out,” Alicia growled, take a step in her mother’s direction, forcing her further away from Nick, back toward the door.

“Alicia-”

Alicia did not stop moving, weapon aimed at Madison’s chest, backing her mother towards the exit. “Leave,” she commanded, “Get in the truck and drive away. Don’t come back.”

They were outside now, Madison’s face a mixture of sadness and revulsion. She shook her head and closed her eyes, recognizing her defeat. There was nothing left to say. Digging the keys to John’s truck back out of her pocket, she climbed into the cab. When Alicia made no move to lower the gun, she gave one final grunt of frustration before driving away.

Watching as the truck disappeared into the distance, Alicia felt numb. Nick was dead. Daniel was dead. Victor, Troy, Walker, Mel… In the span of a week, she had lost everything, lost everyone. They had all left her, alone with her mother. She headed back into the dilapidated garage.

Her brother’s body was still unmoving. She didn’t know how long it would take him to turn. Looking across the room, she wondered if Troy would have been able to calculate it. He had not calmed down since they had come in, still hissing and snapping. Was she going to be strong enough to handle seeing her brother like that?

She didn’t think she was. Thinking quickly, and perhaps crazily, she walked over and stood in front of the monster that had killed her brother, close enough that his fingers could almost graze her skin as he mindlessly grabbed at her from behind the steel chest. Alicia ignored the urge to put a bullet in his head – both out of mercy and anger at taking her brother away from her.

That wasn’t what Nick wanted.

Their dad had one of those toolboxes in his workshop when they were growing up. Alicia had enjoyed organizing the drawers for him sometimes, sitting nearby while he and Nick worked on some small home renovation or another. The memory hit her hard; the realization that she would never make another memory with her brother hit her even harder.

Nick had locked the wheels on the toolbox to hold it in place; otherwise, it would have been rolled away by Troy’s frantic attempts to escape. Sliding a few drawers open, it looked like it was loaded down enough to hold for a minute or two on its own. Alicia hoped it would, at least, for her sake. Bending down, she flicked the levers on each wheel, releasing them.

It shifted forward an inch on Troy’s next lunge at her, but Alicia was already out of range. Walking back to her brother, she kissed him on the top of his head in a final farewell. Her tears had started falling again, and she wondered briefly if they were ever going to stop. Wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she made her way out to the Escalade Nick had driven out there.

The keys were in the ignition, and she shut all the doors that had been left open, leaving the supplies that had been torn out behind. She didn’t care about any of that now. She wasn’t going back to La Reina. That town meant nothing to her now. Facing it would only remind her of Nick, and she just couldn’t deal with that right now.

Starting the engine, Alicia turned the car around, idling in the parking lot for a moment. The building was behind her, and she sat, watching the open door in the driver-side mirror. After a bit, a small movement caught her eye, and she smiled ruefully.

She blasted the horn, pressing down for a full ten seconds before laying off. The burgundy stained army uniform came first, lurching towards the source of the sound. Behind him, Alicia caught a glimpse of her brother’s jeans as he stepped through the doorway.

That was enough for her. She didn’t need to stick around to see any more. Hitting the gas, Alicia drove away, not sure where she was headed yet. Her world felt like it was over, but she found a small piece of comfort in knowing she had been able to keep her promise to her brother.

And at least he wouldn’t be alone.

 

\--

 

Alicia drove aimlessly for a few hours, no destination in mind. She wondered if Madison had headed back to the town, knowing they had no love for her there. There was nowhere else for her to go. Maybe Madison would do the world a favor and kill herself out of despair. Alicia suppressed the grim thought in her mind.

Pulling off the side of the road, Alicia sat and watched the sun as it began to set. It had been the longest day of her life, and she welcomed the night if only to mean that it was finally coming to a close.

A shadow on the horizon caught her eye, and her heart skipped a beat when she realized what it was. There was a caravan of vehicles approaching, spread at least twenty across, a mixture of trucks, SUVs, and cars. They weren’t moving very fast, and Alicia knew why – the heat of the day put too much strain on the vehicles and the people.

Maria Lu had her army coming for Madison, and La Reina, and they were going to attack at night. _That_ night.

With no working vehicles in La Reina, they were trapped, and without anyone to lead them, they would be slaughtered. Alicia couldn’t have that on her conscience. She only hoped the small head start she had was enough. Jamming her foot on the gas, the tires spit gravel behind them as she peeled back out onto the road.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know - I hate me, too.


	8. Chapter 8

_“There was a man there. A local councilman. And he had a beautiful wife and they had a lonesome little girl…_

_Life was hard for the little girl. It was harder for her mother._

_As she grew, she got tired. Tired of the crying. Goddamn exhausted icing her mother's face. Pulling out stitches 'cuz her mama didn't wanna go back to the emergency room. She just got tired._

_One morning, she ate her cereal. She brushed her teeth for school. She took the gun out of her daddy's dresser. She shot him. Shot him while he slept off the night before.”_

 

Except that wasn’t quite right. He had been sleeping off the night before, that was true. He had not been asleep when he shot him. It was very important to Madison, even at eleven years old, that her father be awake when she ended his life.

She wanted him to know.

She wanted him to be afraid.

He had made her afraid more times than she could count, and it was time for her to return the favor. When she crept into his room that morning, Madison had not bothered to move quietly. He must have drank heavily the night before, because he didn’t stir at her approach. She poked at him with the barrel of the gun.

His eyes started to twitch, opening drowsily, trying to focus on the figure in front of him. She had stepped back, allowing enough room for her to aim the gun properly. It wasn’t like the hunting rifles the neighborhood boys had let her shoot on occasion; it was much smaller and lighter. The trigger was the same, though, and that was all that mattered to Madison.

“ _Madison_?” he had asked, angry surprise registering on his face as his eyes flew open wide. She did not give him a chance to say anything more. Pulling the trigger, over and over, she emptied the revolver into her father. Her mother had come rushing in at the sound, and Madison found herself annoyed that the woman’s first instinct had been to go to her husband’s side instead of checking on her own daughter.

The horrified look on her mother’s face had been disappointing as well; Madison had been hoping for gratitude.

“ _Maddie, what have you done?”_

 

The drive back to the town was a blur. Madison was on autopilot the whole way home, her mind swirling with memories from long ago. She knew she risked being skinned alive by showing her face in La Reina again, but she didn’t care. It was what she deserved. And she was out of options.

She parked the truck outside of the now-broken gate, leaving the keys behind as she made her way back into the big house. A few people had been milling around as Madison had driven in; he face must have given away enough for them to know to steer clear. Heading up the stairs, she made a beeline for the office, and more importantly, the bar.

As she walked in the room, she saw Nick’s knuckle knife sticking straight up out of the desktop, the sight jarring her. Sliding around behind the large piece of furniture, she saw he had carved a small N into the inlaid mahogany. Running her finger along the indentation in the wood, Madison broke down.

Since the day she had brought him home from the hospital, Nick had been her baby. But she saw so much of his father in him, and all Madison wanted to do was keep him from following along the same dark path. Instead it seemed she had done her best to push him farther down it.

Unscrewing the cap from the bottle in front of her, she took a large swig of the harsh liquid, sitting in the place that, only that morning, Nick had sat doing the very same thing. What a cruel world it was. Alicia would never forgive her, not after her actions had resulted in her brother’s death. As it was, Madison didn’t even know if her daughter intended to come back at all.

She was a failure. As a mother, as a leader, as a friend – on all fronts, she had disappointed everyone around her. Drinking deeply from the bottle, Madison settled back into the chair. Let Maria Lu come for her. She wasn’t going to fight; there was nothing left for her to fight for.

 

\--

 

Bringing the truck to a screeching halt a few yards short of the cantina where she had faced off against her mother earlier. The town was empty, everyone probably hiding in fear. She rolled slowly through the streets, looking for any sign of life. It reminded her of the very first day she had spent in La Reina. She had been forced to kill that day, too.

John and Charlie sat outside the infirmary. She pulled over and hopped out. Charlie craned her neck, trying to see behind Alicia, looking for her friend.

“He didn’t make it,” Alicia said, the words catching in her throat. Their faces fell, and the little girl began to cry softly again. “Is my mom here?”

“She went right into the house, hasn’t come out since,” John replied.

“Where is everyone else?” she asked, gesturing to the empty town around her.

The man cocked his head to the side, as if he was confused why she didn’t already know the answer. “Waiting for you, of course.”

He led her back to the warehouse, where the whole town had gathered. Wisely, someone had taken care of the mess she had left behind. A dark stain was all that remained on the cement floor. It seemed impossible that it only been hours since she knelt in that very spot. All heads turned to her as she entered the room, conversations cutting short abruptly.

It didn’t matter that she had never chosen leadership for herself, there were nearly fifty people staring at her right now who were depending on her to keep them alive. As Nick had pointed out to her earlier, that was some heavy shit for a teenager.

“Maria Lu is on her way,” she said, addressing the crowd. They responded to the news with an audible gasp but she continued before they had time to start panicking. “We’ve got a half an hour, maybe forty-five minutes, tops. We have a shot at defending ourselves against her if we work fast, and work together.”

The plan had come to her while she drove, not that it was all that creative, and not that she thought it had much chance of working. She only hoped it would be enough to make their enemies turn tail and retreat to the bazaar. Maria didn’t know they had gotten any warning. She would assume that even being on high alert, most of the town would be sleeping at night. They would catch them off guard, and minimize their losses. It mitigated the risk of attacking in the dark.

“Everyone spread out, only one or two people per house. Kids, stay with your parents. Take a gun – take _several_ guns with you. Find a closet, or a corner, some place where no one can sneak up on you. Shoot anyone who comes at you. Aim for their _heads_.”

There was some muttering among the townspeople, most of it sounding agreeable. She nodded to the town guards, barking orders in their direction. “Make sure everyone has at least one weapon, and make sure they’re all loaded.” Turning back to the crowd at large, she went on. “Once you get your weapon, hide.”

The majority of the people in town knew their way around a weapon by now, but they were not fighters. These were people who had chosen an idyllic country life over post-apocalyptic survival. There were maybe six of the militia guards left. It looked like no one had ever found Peter. Alicia assumed that her mother had something to with it. Pulling them aside, along with John Dorie, she gave them their orders, assigning them to specific posts within the town, and putting them in charge of dousing all the lights. “John, you’re with me.”

Grabbing a semi-automatic rifle and a backpack full of extra ammo for herself, she nodded to John to grab himself another weapon, since he was now down to one six-shooter and had given that to Charlie. If they survived this, she’d let him know where he could find it’s match. She wouldn’t be able to handle going back there herself.

They sent Charlie off to get in her hiding spot for the time being while she and John took care of a very important piece of business. He’d be joining her momentarily. Alicia needed to check on her mother, and she needed him in case things got ugly.

She found her mother in the office, which was not a surprise. She sent John down to watch the front door, knowing with one glance that her mother was no longer a threat to anyone, except maybe herself. Her face was swollen from crying, a dark line down the center of her bottom lip from when Alicia had smacked her. Madison offered her daughter the bottle as she came near.

Alicia ignored the offer. “It’s nice to see your overwhelming concern for everyone’s safety,” she said sarcastically.

“Why should I give a shit about anyone else’s safety.”

At her words, Alicia snatched the bottle from Madison’s hand and flung it across the room, where it landed with a thud on the carpet. “Maria’s army is attacking tonight – any minute now. And believe me, she has an _army_.”

Madison nodded her head solemnly. “It’s over then.”

“You’re the one who wanted to stay behind and fight in the first place!” Alicia shouted, slamming her palms on the desk. “I get it, Nick is dead. You want to die, too.”

Her mother flinched at hearing her brother’s name, squeezing her eyes shut tight. She didn’t deny the accusation.

“Aren’t I enough to live for?” Alicia asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You don’t need me. You never needed me.”

She was tired of hearing her say that. “Of course I needed you, I was a child! You were always off trying to fix Nick, meanwhile I was left to figure out everything on my own.”

When her mother only stared down at her palms in response, Alicia realized she was fighting a losing battle. “Fine. Give up,” she conceded. “I don’t what you do care anymore.”

Heavy footsteps came thudding down the hallway, and John Dorie ran into the room, panting.

“They’re here.”

 

\--

 

She left her mother where she found her, and quietly followed John through the dark house, out the back door. They moved swiftly across the lawn down to the street, sticking close to the buildings even though the town was nearly pitch-black, the moonlight weakened by a cloudy sky. No shots had been fired yet. Pausing, Alicia looked to John. He cupped his hand to his ear and pointed in a semicircle in front of them.

Straining, she heard what John had. Engines were running, the sound not coming any closer, but as she turned her head, she realized the low hum was coming from every angle. They were surrounded. Without warning, the silence split open with the first crack of gunfire. A single shot, but it was answered shortly after by the report of an automatic. Someone screamed.

The battle had begun.

Alicia and John made their way towards the infirmary where Charlie had been stashed, stopping abruptly and ducking into a gap between two houses when they saw flashlights sweeping down the road. He silently gestured for them to cut through the small alley to go around back, and she led the way, rifle anchored firmly in her shoulder the way Jake had taught her how.

The air was full of sound – the popping of gunfire, orders being shouted, cries of fear - and Alicia hoped it wouldn’t draw in many walkers from the surrounding desert. They were going to have enough of a problem with the undead on their hands as it was. Maria’s people had, as expected, intended to kill the villagers as they slept, and were surprised to find themselves ambushed the minute the stepped through the doors.

That surprise hadn’t lasted for long, and their enemies had started firing through the doors, attempting to take out anyone hidden behind them. With both sides panicking now, the fighting had gotten sloppier – it seemed Maria Lu had not been able to recruit the best of the best for her militia. Alicia suspected at least half her ranks were there working off some kind of debt or punishment. That had not made for the most dedicated soldiers.

Turning a corner, she came face to face with one of them; this man was obviously one of the few who had joined Maria willingly. He sneered and swung his gun in her direction. Before he could get off a shot, John had crept around the side of the building, firing a single shot, hitting the man dead between the eyes. He crumpled to the ground before she had even had a chance to put her finger on the trigger.

For such a timid, mild-mannered man, John Dorie was deadly accurate with a gun.

“Thanks,” she whispered, stifling a giggle when he tipped his hat in response.

That amusement was short lived as she saw the figure lurch out of the shadows behind him. “John!” she cried out, reaching for him. It was too late – the walker sunk its teeth into the soft flesh of John’s neck, catching him off guard and dragging him down to the ground. It’s head was too close to John’s for her to get a clean shot, so Alicia used her knife to take it out.

“You have – get Laura – take care – her – please,” the man was struggling to speak, his hand pressed against the ragged wound at his throat. The pressure wasn’t working, no doubt an artery had been torn by the bite. He went still before Alicia even had a chance to reply. Using her knife again, she made sure he stayed that way.

The walker had been one of their own people, she recognized him as one of the men she had assigned to one of the posts on the perimeter. There was a rifle blast to his chest, confirming her suspicion of Maria’s crew being inept fighters. Not that her own people were any better. She heard shouts and footfalls as people ran through the streets, their fear making them ignore her orders to stay in one spot.

Climbing over a small wooden fence, Alicia snuck around the corner of the house next door, peaking back out on the street where she and John had come from. There were bodies on the ground – some moving, some not. In the dark, she couldn’t tell if the moving ones were just injured, or were dead and had already turned. She knew it was dangerous to leave them out there without making sure their brains had been destroyed, but there was no way to take care of them without exposing her position.

It was turning out to be a bloodbath, and Alicia wasn’t sure how anything could possible get worse. As if in response, there was a loud crash, the crunching of steel and glass as one of Maria’s vehicles plowed into the row of vehicles that had been lined up earlier. Several car alarms started going off, their screeching chorus nearly drowning out the sounds of the war raging within the town. Someone needed to shut them off - the sound would draw out every infected for miles - but her first priority was finding Charlie.

The cacophony of sounds was making it hard for focus, but there was one thing Alicia was acutely aware of: No matter who won this battle, the town was going to fall.

 

\--

 

Madison hadn’t moved from her spot at the desk, still gripping her son’s former weapon tightly. She listened to the din of the assault, a morbid symphony of pain and brutality. Above the noise, Alicia’s words ran through her mind on a loop.

She knew she had failed her daughter, and not only recently. Once Steven had died, her fears of losing Nick in a similar manner had consumed her. Alicia was a good child, sweet and smart, and Madison had figured once things with Nick had gotten sorted out, she’d be able to make it up to the girl. His drug use had only gotten worse – even before the fall of society, their relationship had been fractured.

Some people weren’t cut out to raise children. Madison thought back to her own parents, who had failed her as well, albeit in a completely different way.

_“Maddie, what have you done?”_

Her mother’s voice rang out in her head, drowning out the racket of gunfire coming from the streets below. Even though her mother had received the brunt of her father’s physical abuse, Madison had always been a favorite target of his to terrorize. As she got older, he had started hitting her as well – she wasn’t sure if it was because his drinking had gotten worse, or due to her propensity for mouthing off to him at the wrong times. She endured it for years until the morning she decided enough was enough.

_“Maddie, what have you done?”_

The question had been offensive to her even then. It had been obvious what she had done – it was what needed to be done. Her daddy wasn’t a good man, and she made sure he couldn’t hurt anyone else. In appreciation for her taking on the burden herself, she had been sent away. Her mother had never looked at her the same way again, but Madison had felt it a small price to pay to keep her safe. It hadn’t made it hurt any less.

_“Maddie, what have you done?”_

“I did what you _should_ have done! I shouldn’t have had to protect you, it was _your_ job to protect _me_!” she screamed out loud, answering the ghost in her mind.

Just like it was her job to be protecting Alicia, right now.

Her chest hitched. She knew her daughter could fend for herself, but that didn’t justify abandoning her. There was just so much of herself in Alicia, it was hard to see the vulnerability in her. It didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

A choir of car alarms sounded. Madison ran to the window, knife still in hand. In the pale moonlight, the scene on the streets below her was chaos. Dozens of people moved through the streets, dark shadows – running, fighting, and in some unfortunate cases, staggering around looking for a fresh meal. It was too dark to see if Alicia was among them.

She had to find her daughter. Fuck the town, and fuck Maria Lu. It may be her fault they were trapped, but if she could get to the fuses, there was a chance some people could escape. Regardless, Madison was finding Alicia and getting the hell out of there. If she was still alive, that was.

That thought inspired a sense of urgency in Madison. The Escalade was parked at the opposite end of the road, and she knew it was a safer choice than the pick-up she had driven back. Those things were tanks, for all intents and purposes. Turning from the window, she made her way through the dark house.

She paused in the hallway, hearing murmuring coming from below. Peering cautiously around the corner, she dared a glance down the stairwell. Two men stood in the foyer by the door, conferring over their next moves.

“Remember, Maria wants her alive. She needs to be made an example of,” one of the goons said, voice low.

“I’ll take upstairs, you check down here,” the other responded, standing on the bottom step as he began his ascent.

Madison pressed herself flat against the wall and waited. Listening closely, she heart the slight creak of the wood as he reached the top. She didn’t give him a chance to turn either way, striking out with Nick’s knife, driving the knife into her attackers throat. He made a gurgling sound and fell forward, forcing her to release her hold on the knife so he didn’t snap her wrist.

She rolled him over using her boot, and yanked the blade free. That it was her son’s weapon that saved her life seemed apt to Madison; a sign from the beyond that she needed to get off her ass and fight back. Picking up the automatic he had been carrying, she slung the strap around her shoulders and pulled his pistol from where it had been shoved in his waistband.

The other man rounded the corner as she descended the stairs, and she shot him in the head before he could even aim his rifle. Blood pooled on the white marble around him where he fell, and Madison had to step carefully to avoid it. Standing at the top of the small hill the mansion was built on, Madison surveyed the scene in front of her. The clouds had began to roll away, the moon now shining brightly, revealing the carnage that lined the road in front of her.

Maria’s people had surrounded them, driving them all towards the center, shepherding them to their own demise. The people of La Reina had taken out a significant number of her people as well, and that was when the first mistake had been made. Several of the dead were not disposed of properly, and reanimated within minutes. Soon there were multiple fights going on at once, each group simultaneously battling the dead and each other.

There were an overwhelming amount of walkers mixed in to the crowd below her, and she wasn’t looking forward to joining in. Taking a deep breath, she steeled her nerves. She had to get to the Escalade. If she was going to die tonight, she was going to die trying to save her daughter. She may have ruined everything else she had ever touched, but Madison thought that if she could do this, just do this one thing right, maybe there was hope for a future.

If she failed, she didn’t plan on having a future at all.

 

\--

 

“ _Charlie?”_ Alicia whispered harshly as she quietly let herself into the infirmary. She didn’t think anyone saw her, everyone seemed to be mostly concerned with their own survival, as the dead began to outnumber the living.

The little girl popped her head out the door, her face falling when she saw Alicia was alone, but she didn’t look surprised. She allowed the tears to fall but made no sound, her sense of self-preservation overruling her sorrow. Alicia pulled her in for a hug.

“We’re gonna get out of here, right now,” she said, keeping her voice quiet. Charlie nodded her understanding and took her hand. Opening the door, Alicia came face to face with one of Maria’s men.

“It’s the girl!” he called over his shoulder; to whom, Alicia did not know. She didn’t plan on waiting to find out. Kicking forward with all of her strength, she knocked him off his balance and slammed the door in his face, quickly flipping the lock. He began to pound on the flimsy wood, and she knew it wasn’t going to hold very long.

Grabbing Charlie’s hand again, she pulled the girl across the room, making it to the base of the stairs before the door flew open wide.

“You broke my nose, you bitch!” the man roared, raising his machete high as he took a step towards the girls. Before he could take another, he was grabbed from behind by several pairs of undead hands. He went down screaming, and Alicia saw more walkers being drawn in their direction because of the noise he as making.

She shoved Charlie up the stairs ahead of her, following closely on her heels. Luckily there was a door to the small bedroom on the second floor, and she locked them both inside. Charlie helped her push the heavy pieces of furniture in front to secure it. The window gave them a view of the pandemonium going on below. Alicia pulled Charlie away from the sight.

They were trapped. Alicia had left her rifle downstairs – now all she had was a gun with a half-empty clip, and her butterfly knife. Charlie had John’s second Colt .45. Based on what she saw on the street, the living were losing. They had fought each other for too long, and were only just now trying to work together against the dead. By then, it was too little, too late.

The Escalade was a block away, but it may as well have been on the moon. The alarms were still sounding, and Alicia wished she knew how long it took a car battery to run out. For their sake, she hoped it wasn’t very long. She pressed her face against the glass of the window, angling to see where she had parked the car.

Except, it was gone.

“Son of a _bitch_ ,” she grumbled. “Someone took it.”

She hadn’t even had a chance to get properly angry about the loss of her vehicle before she saw it, slowly rolling down the street, a flashlight scanning the crowd from the front seat. As the light swept from one side to the other, she got a good glimpse of the driver. She recognized that blonde hair immediately.

Throwing open the window, Alicia leaned out, shouting to her mother. “Mom!”

There was no way Madison could hear her over the noise below. Turning around, Alicia looked for something she could use to get her mother’s attention. Eyes landing on a blown glass vase, she hoped her arm was better than it had been the year she had been forced into playing softball. She launched the vessel at the hood of the car, hoping to avoid smashing any of the windows in if possible.

It was a direct hit. Alicia couldn’t help but cheer out loud when it had the desired effect; Madison stopped the car and swiveled her head in the direction the vase had come flying at her from. Leaning her body as far out the window as she could go without falling, she waved her arms wildly to get her mother’s attention.

Although the inside of the car was dark again since the flashlight had been turned off, she knew Madison had seen her. She had no idea what it was her mother was doing, though.

The SUV was reversing, pulling back to the end of the street where it had been parked. The headlights flicked on, and Alicia looked down, only now seeing the thick crowd of the dead teeming below, arms reaching up for her, only inches away. She pulled herself back inside quickly, leaning only her head out to see what it was her mother was up to. The engine revved, and Alicia saw the Escalade start to pick up speed as it approached, it’s lights pulling the attention from the group below. Madison did not slow down as she approached, only slamming on the brakes when she was directly under the window, mowing down the infected who had been standing below.

Madison rolled down the window and shot a handful of walkers as they ambled out from the infirmary. “It’s clear,” she called to Alicia.

Charlie was terrified of her mother, and for good reason, but these were extenuating circumstances. Once their survival had been ensured, they could revisit any unresolved issues. The girl followed her without question, luckily, and they made it out the front door and into the waiting vehicle safely.

She couldn’t help it; the same biological instinct that had urged her to seek comfort in her mother earlier was back. Forcing her body through the console into the front seat, Alicia wrapped her arms around her, and Madison held her tightly in return. As heartfelt as the moment was, they were both jostled back to reality, literally, as someone was thrown against the side of the truck. Her mother jumped back into action, reversing off the pile of bodies she had created and turning the truck onto the main road that led out of town. 

_Holy shit._

The alarms had been going off for a solid hour now, and between the former residents of La Reina, the army from the bazaar, and the dusty skeletons that had found their way there, Alicia estimated the horde in front of her at about one hundred strong – not to mention whatever they had just left on the street behind them.

“Slowly,” Alicia said, and her mother nodded in agreement, pressing the gas pedal as gently as possible. The sound of the horns drowned out the engine and kept the walkers attention for the most part. They only had to deal with the ones they nudged past as they drove. They had made it halfway through the crowd, having only seemed to bother the ones they physically hit as they moved by, when the engine made a popping sound. It sputtered to a stop, steam starting to seep through the seams around the hood.

It had consistently been over 100 degrees for several days, and the truck had been driven for eight hours in that heat that very day. Alicia didn’t think she needed to know much about cars to figure out that the problem was probably with the radiator. Probably not something easily fixed from the inside, at least.

Alicia managed to curb the maniacal laughter she felt bubbling up – or was that nausea? Given the situation, both likelihoods were possible. Her thoughts were drown out by the constant slapping of monster hands against the windows, and she wondered how long it would take for that sound to drive her crazy.

At that point, probably not much longer.

 

\--

 

The horde closed back up around them, and the car was surrounded once again, lightly swaying as undead bodies bounced against it. After another hour or so, the car batteries had started dying, finally silencing the alarms and broadcasting their location to the world. By then, the SUV had gone back to being just another piece of the scenery, with the infected no longer as tightly packed around them, instead milling about stupidly, oblivious to the meal that was hidden inside.

Waiting until the herd dispersed was their only option, so they had attempted to keep themselves comfortable. Charlie had stretched out in the very back and was sleeping fitfully; Alicia’s eyes were closed but Madison could tell she was awake. Although the air was stale, they were still able to roll down the windows a crack every now and again. Without fail, though, one of the swarm would notice and start clawing at them again. And when one started up, they all started up again.

Madison knew the truck would withstand just about anything a group of rotting corpses could throw at it, so she wasn’t concerned with them smashing through the glass. What she was concerned with was how long it was going to take the horde to break up and move on. Without anything to draw them away, it might be days before enough of them had decided to wander back into the desert, especially with a few people still scattered in the town, evident by the occasional gunshot they heard. There couldn’t be many of them left back there, and it wouldn’t be long until that number had dropped to zero.

They didn’t have days. Even before the sun began to poke over the horizon, the temperature had started to rise – not that it had been much cooler at night to begin with. Soon it would be unbearable inside, the desert sun turning the all-black metal box they were imprisoned in into a proper oven. Without water, they would die of heatstroke within hours.

It left them with very few options – really only one that Madison thought had any shot of getting any of them out of this situation. The silencer she had discovered in the glove compartment had only made the decision that much easier.

“Alicia, honey,” she said, lightly touching the girl’s shoulder. Maybe she had been dozing after all. She could feel how hot Alicia’s skin was already. It took her longer to open her eyes than Madison was comfortable with, and she knew they had no time to lose.

“The fuses to the cars are in that last cottage on the left down there,” Madison started, getting the confession over with first. At Alicia’s incredulous glare, she explained, “By the time I knew Maria was coming it was too late to get to them.” Madison decided to leave off any warning about poor Peter; although further tarnishing her reputation was the last thing on her mind, she needed to make sure Alicia did as she said, and she didn’t think another murder confession was going to help her accomplish that.

“You don’t need to try to get there immediately – try to find somewhere to stay safe for a while. They’ll move on eventually. If you can’t get the fuses to work, Daniel’s jeep is parked around the far side of the mountain.”

“None of this matters, mom. There’s no way through that crowd.”

“There is one way,” Madison offered. “Nick’s way.”

Alicia shook her head, “They’re too far away from the van now. We’ll never be able to get one in here without the rest of them noticing.”

“I know,” Madison responded.

“Do you have a dead body stashed in here that I haven’t seen?” Alicia snarked.

“No, Alicia,” she said quietly, lowering her eyes. Alicia followed her gaze down to the pistol in Madison’s lap, silencer attached.

“You can’t mean…” Alicia’s eyes opened wide as she looked back at Charlie, who was stirring from her nap.  

Madison chuckled. “I know it’s my own fault for that being your first assumption, but no. Not her.” She reached out for her daughter’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

The realization spread across Alicia’s face, a mix of horror and despair. “Mom, there’s no way I’ll be able to… do that... to you.”

“You have to. Or else we all die anyway.” It was a matter of fact. There was no use disputing it. One had to die in order for any of them to live, and Madison was going to make the sacrifice. Lowering her voice, she added, “Charlie will die.”

She knew it was a dirty trick, using Charlie like that, but she knew Alicia had a much stronger sense of morality than Madison had herself. There was no way she would let the little girl die if there was a way to prevent it.

No matter how gruesome it may be.

“I can’t,” Alicia sobbed.

“You have to, baby.” She cupped her daughter’s chin in her hand, tilting it up and brushing the tears away with her thumb. “Come on, I’m sure you’ve thought about it before.”

That elicited a small laugh from Alicia. Wordlessly, she gave Madison a small nod, her face wet with tears. “Charlie, don’t look,” she called hoarsely.

“I’ll be with your brother soon,” Madison said, picking up the gun. It felt heavier than she remembered.

“He’s gonna be so pissed.”

Madison smiled at that. Keeping her grip on her daughter’s hand with her free hand, she raised the gun to her temple.

“Close your eyes, baby.”

Shutting her own, Madison squeezed the trigger.

 

\--

 

Alicia’s ears were ringing from the gunshot, even with the silencer, and she refused to open her eyes. She didn’t know how long she sat there, sobbing silently, before she felt Charlie’s hand on her shoulder. Turning to the girl, she avoided looking at her mother’s body. The heat of the car was stifling, and Alicia was starting to feel more than a little lightheaded.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Charlie said softly.

“I’m sorry about John.”

“I miss him already. He never even knew my real name...”

John had told them about her little name game, having had to adjust what he called her several times himself. Apparently none of them had been the original.

“Do you want to tell me?” she asked, sensing some hesitation in the girl.

The girl considered for a brief moment. “It’s Lydia,” she said shyly.

“That’s a pretty name,” Alicia said absentmindedly. Maybe she’d come up with a new name for herself, wherever they ended up next.

In order for there to be a ‘next’, Alicia knew she was going to have to do the unthinkable. “Lydia, I need you to be brave for this next part.”

Alicia willed her mind to think of something else, anything else, as she moved the knife above her mother’s abdomen. She managed to keep it blank as the warm blood rushed over her hands, moving on autopilot to cover herself and Lydia with a thick coating of the stuff. The girl wasn’t crying, instead seeming to be in some kind of trance herself, trying to block it all out.

Once Alicia felt confident they had been properly coated in the stench of death, she opened the passenger side door as slowly and quietly as she possibly could. Lydia climbed through to the front and followed her out. None of the walkers in the vicinity had been alerted to their presence, but it was too early to tell if the ruse would work completely.

Lydia hung onto Alicia’s hand as they ambled forward haltingly. There was no way around the herd, going through them was the only option. They held their breath as they waded into the group. Alicia’s heart was racing – it was working. It was actually working. She almost smiled as she walked back into the town, away from the larger swarm that had gathered. They neared a house with it’s door still in tact from the onslaught, and Alicia hoped there was still food and water inside.

An urgent tug on her hand pulled her attention. Lydia was wild eyed, terrified, and Alicia didn’t understand until she slowly turned to look behind her.

The herd had followed them. If they stopped now, the infected would be alerted to their presence, and they’d surround the house, trapping them once again.

Alicia was tired of being trapped.

“Keep walking,” she said to Lydia under her breath.

“Alicia,” the little girl whimpered.

“Shhhhhh….”

They had to keep moving. There were too many around, they would never be able to fight their way out again – and the blood cover was only going to last so long. Passing by the house, she turned the corner, staring out into the open desert. A cautious glance behind her revealed that her entourage was steadily growing.

“Just keep walking,” she whispered again.

Eventually they would find a way to break from the group, but for now they would be safer among them. The living were the real danger, anyway, Alicia thought morosely. _What even separates us from them anymore_? Humanity had been set back thousands of years, reverting them back to indulging their primal instincts. The dead were no different.

They shuffled out into the desert, a staggered trail of infected following behind, and a smile cracked the dried blood on Alicia’s face as a crazy thought came to her.  
  
Maybe she could catch up to her brother.


	9. Epilogue

_Nine years later_

 

The herd was following them. Something wasn’t right about this; they should have lost them by now. Eugene couldn’t run anymore, having twisted his knee when they had first encountered the biters currently on their tail. He and Rosita had headed into the woods to try to lose them but they had managed to track them even through the thick brush.

Hobbling along, he spotted an embankment, and pulled Rosita with him as he slid down. Thinking quickly, they covered themselves in the soft mud of the riverbed, making a temporary camouflage that would hopefully disguise both their sight and their smell. The way Eugene’s heart was pounding, he hoped they weren’t able to hear them as well.

Although there was no way for him to know it, Eugene was the one who had started the tragic chain of events that would lead to this very moment. If only he had kept his mouth shut, and never offered his help to Madison Clark back at that refinery in Houston, he may not have ended up in the predicament he was currently in. Back then he had been trying any tactic he could come up with to delay their arrival in D.C.; in his defense, he really _had_ thought he’d be able to get it to work.

Leaves rustled above them as lifeless feet trudged by. The sound was soft and low, but Eugene thought he heard something else woven in as they drew closer. It sounded almost like… words. The closer they got, the more certain he was of what he was hearing. Wide-eyed, he looked to Rosita, lying in the muck next to him. The look of horror on her face told him that she had heard it to. She clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling a scream.

 

\--

 

Even if she had she known who it was she was pursuing through the woods, and his role in her mother’s downfall, it wouldn’t have made any difference to her. Not any more. Those days were long behind her now, a life she had buried deep inside. She was not the same person she had been back then. That person no longer existed.

Alicia Clark no longer existed.

They referred to her as Alpha, but it was more of a rank than a name. Her group lived among the dead, moving freely within their hordes, steering the group from within. The blood cover had worked for a while, but there was too much risk of infection if you were wearing it constantly. Her solution was inspired by an old horror movie Nick had made her watch, and she had been pleased to find that the skins worked just as well. From that point on, she and Lydia had worn the masks.

After a while the stench of dead barely bothered them. She could never wash the smell out of her hair though, and had started shaving her head because of it. Her mind danced back to a different time, to the girl she used to be, joking and laughing with a friend about selling her hair. Had that been before or after the world ended? She could barely remember anymore. It didn’t matter.

 Her pack originally had no plans of attacking the sad little communities that they had come across in the area. They only planned on staying through the winter. When the two interlopers had crossed onto their land, though, they had no choice but to go after them.

As Alpha realized the two they were following had given them the slip, she turned to Lydia, still by her side after all these years.

 _“Wherrrre areee theeeeey_.”


	10. Notes

**NOTES**

Hi. Sorry. Thought I’d get that out of the way first.

 

**ALL HAIL DAVE ERICKSON**

Look I just wanted the evolution of a group of villains – I wanted to see the show Dave Erickson envisioned. So in writing my own take on it, I tried to pull from some clues he had dropped over the years about where the show was heading. I found a bunch of interviews _(some linked below)_ where he talked about his plans. The main things I focused on were:

  * The story was about the beginnings of a villain/villain group, a la Rise of the Governor.
  * Troy wasn’t supposed to die at the dam, but he wasn’t going to make it to the end, either.
  * He said a few times that it would come down to Madison and Nick, then Alicia and Madison. 



What I couldn’t do was drag it out to complete a full seven “seasons”, as DE had planned. I tried to jam as much as I could into each chapter instead – so if the pace seems hectic, that’s why. There was stuff that I could have spread out or subplots I could have added to stretch this out longer, but _I need my fucking life back._

 <https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/fear-walking-dead-showrunner-season-3-finale-1048507>

<https://www.amc.com/shows/fear-the-walking-dead/talk/2017/10/dave-erickson-tells-ew-final-scene-idea-talks-nick-madison-with-thr>

<https://ew.com/tv/2017/10/15/fear-the-walking-dead-finale-ending-showrunner-dave-erickson/>

 

**bUt mAdISoN dIDn’T tUrN!**

To address the “using Madison’s guts as blood cover when she had not turned” issue. I originally wrote it with them having to wait until Madison turned, and _then_ eviscerating her, but I think I fucked up Alicia enough in this story, don’t you? It was way, way too dark.

But hey LUCKILY - Robert Kirkman explained how the blood cover works in an interview after the first time it was used (linked below). Basically, walkers aren’t searching out the living because they smell alive, or that they themselves have any special scent to them that helps them differentiate. They notice them when they don’t smell dead – they will attack anything that is moving that doesn’t smell dead. It makes sense, since we’ve seen walkers go after animals, and even non-human moving objects. 

<https://ew.com/article/2010/11/08/the-walking-dead-kirkman-2/>

 

**ABRAHAM’S ARMY**

Everyone knows this is the crossover that should have happened.

 

**IS CRAZY DOG OKAY**

He is. Maria Liu said the reservation takes care of it’s own problems, and he is married to the chief’s daughter. He wasn’t punished too severely. They had their baby and are all very happy.

 

**THE WHISPERERS**

Okay, the Alicia as Alpha thing is a stretch, I know, but it seemed like a pretty popular fan theory that FTWD was the Whisperer’s origin story. I had this all outlined before the Whisperers were introduced on TWD, before s9 even aired – and I absolutely LOVED the season. I almost cut my epilogue and left it vague bc it feels weird to write an AU of something I actually _really_ enjoyed. Kang’s version blew me away, I really wouldn’t change a thing, I adore her.

But, after doing the Texas crossover, _and_ it being Eugene and Rosita who first encounter them on TWD, _and_ the massive time jump, it all just kind of fell together. If TWD S9 is about 9-10 years into the apocalypse, Alicia would be in her late twenties. Add in Charlie as Lydia _(how convenient was that name changing bit I stole from Naomilaurajune, eh?)_ and well, there ya go. Weird AU Whisperer origin story. If you hate it, ignore it. I’m ambivalent on it myself, but a few people told me they liked it so I kept it in. 

 

**GRACIAS**

Not that anyone asked but if you’re still reading this crap I’m doing something right, I guess – This is the end of “my” series. Maybe sometime I will write a story that fits in the middle of these two “seasons”, or some one shots, but I don’t intend to write Alicia’s rise (or descent) as Alpha. If you write fic and want to write in this AU, go right ahead, that’d be fucking awesome. I’ll beta, seriously.

Writing this has been therapeutic but I am still going to die mad about not getting to see the real thing. I hope I did justice to Dave Erickson’s characters, or at least didn’t fuck up them up as badly as… well, you know.

 

 

 

 


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